


The Weaklings' Masks

by Bokkunthechoa



Category: Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: Adventure, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 55,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26776648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bokkunthechoa/pseuds/Bokkunthechoa
Summary: Following the death of his sister and a painful funeral, perpetual sadsack Irvin Kemp finds himself aboard a massive train with no discernible end. Accompanied by a sociable mouse and a young boy playing hero, Irvin braves the challenges of various cars. To Irvin, the question isn't if escape is possible, but if there's anything worth coming home to.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 17





	1. The Barnyard Car

From the perspective of someone looking out the window, it was like watching the world turn around you. To those outside the car it was obviously the other way around, but sitting in the passenger seat and staring idly out the window gave the impression of the world passing you by. You were a single unmoving point in a world of motion.

"...so I told him that he could have my lunch. Turns out I was a sucker though, because I caught him chowing down on some restaurant tacos an hour later. Last time I trust that guy around food."

"Hey, Irvin? _...You still awake_?" Terrence whispers the last part, just to be safe.

"...Huh? O-Oh, yeah…" Irvin mutters. "G-Good story…"

An awkward silence followed the two men in the vehicle. The atmosphere between them was thick enough to cut with a knife. The source of the awkwardness was obvious to both of them, but neither wanted to bring it up.

Terrence settled for indirectly broaching the topic. "So… no tux?" He asks, glancing at the other man before fixing his eyes back on the road ahead.

"...My old one didn't fit. C-Couldn't afford a rental." Irvin almost mumbles back, still staring out his window.

"I wish you'd said so sooner. You know I would have been willing to spot you for one, right?"

Irvin stayed silent, focusing on the passing scenery. Terrence lets out a sigh, but drops the topic for the time being.

When they eventually arrive and park in front of a church, Irvin is slow to exit. His whole demeanor gives off the impression that he might shatter like glass at any moment.

Before they can head up the stairs to the doorway, Terrence grabs him by the hand and pulls him aside.

"Hey… I'm really sorry this happened." He awkwardly shuffles his feet, thinking of a good way to phrase his concerns. "I just... wanted to be sure that you're gonna be okay in there. I mean, it's fine if you aren't, but like… If this is too much, you don't have to force yourself to do this."

Irvin shudders at the reminder of why they were here. "N-No, I… I-I have to be there, right? They'll p-probably want me to say something about her."

"Yeah but… it's totally normal if you aren't ready to handle anything like that. That's all I'm saying."

"It's fine… S-She deserves a proper f-funeral, it's f-fine."

Terrence gives his friend a sad look, and walks inside with him. A woman by the doors took their names, and showed the pair inside.

There's a line for the casket at the other end of the room, but Irvin decidedly doesn't get near it. He glides past it and takes a seat on the other end of the room, as far away from the body as he can get.

He could hear everyone talking around him. They all were saying the same things. How unfortunate it all was, how great of a person she was, and how unfortunate that it had to be her instead of someone else. That last part might have just been in his head, but he knew everyone was thinking it. How could anyone who knew her think differently?

His eyes peek toward the older couple standing near the opened casket. When the woman catches his gaze, he quickly looks back down at the ground.

After the line clears up and everyone takes a seat, the proceedings continue with a speaker coming to the front. A pastor takes the podium, and addresses the crowd.

"I would like to thank each and every one of you for coming today. For some of you it was quite a distance, but please know that the family is thankful for your presence here on this day. May the Good Lord bless us all on this day…"

"Elizabeth Kemp was a kindly soul, and one we all care for deeply. May she rest soundly in the other world, and may her spirit be with all of us as we go about our lives."

As the pastor goes on, giving a short sermon about the deceased, Irvin's eyes stay focused on the casket. From where he sat, he couldn't see the body. Just knowing it was there was enough to throw his whole mind into disarray. His hands felt clammy as a cold sweat ran down his back. It was for the best that he hadn't eaten, because it felt like he was about to throw up.

She was in there… No, her _body_ was in there.

She was gone.

Terrence suddenly shakes Irvin's shoulder. "Hey, you holding up?"

"...H-H-Huh?" Irvin blinks, breaking out of his trance. The pastor was still going, so he hadn't missed too much.

"...Look, his sermon's almost up. You can say your piece afterwards, and then I really think you should step outside for a bit, okay?"

"Yeah… yeah... " Irvin nods idly, staring forward and trying to pay attention like the rest of the congregation. The effort is futile, as Irvin can't even begin to process what was being said with everything on his mind.

Eventually, there's a pause. A moment of silence Irvin thinks, only to realize when someone else approaches the podium that they'd shifted to letting others speak about the deceased.

"My daughter, Eliza, made me the luckiest mother in the world. When you have a kid, you always have these expectations and hopes that your kid will be better than everyone else's. Eliza went above and beyond them all. No matter what life threw at her, she never stopped trying…" An older woman goes on. Irvin tunes most of the words out, not ready to hear it. They echo as dull beats within his head.

The moment she steps down, Irvin finally stands up. He couldn't wait any longer, he had to speak.

The choice to sit in the back meant that he had to walk the entire aisle to make it to the stand however, creating a long pause as he slowly meandered his under-dressed body to the room's front. Even if a suit wasn't an option for him, Irvin suddenly felt self-conscious about showing up in his usual overalls and tee. That pang of shame was just one more knot in his gut. Not that he needed any more...

As he rose above the audience, taking the steps onto the stage, his position finally gave him sight into the coffin he'd ignored for so long. The body inside was finally visible to him, despite how much he'd tried to avoid it.

His breathing becomes labored, as he has to hold himself together for her sake. He just had to say a few words, and that was it. They wouldn't ask him to do anything else, nobody expected any more from him.

When he finally looked out over the crowd though, his mind stalled. The notes he had taken on what to say suddenly read like gibberish to him. He was panicking, trying to remember what he'd come up with. What were the words he wanted to use to share his thoughts?

Each second of silence felt like an eternity as Irvin looked over the crowd. He tried the best he could to read the notes he'd written, but to no avail.

"M-My sister w-was- is… um, she… Eliza, um… I d-d-d-don't know w-why…"

He felt like crying. It was all a waste if he couldn't get a word out. He would have been better off not coming.

One phrase kept running through his mind however. It was a thought that had followed him since the moment he heard about what happened, and one he'd done his best not to express. He knew it would be upsetting. But without the speech he prepared, he didn't have anything else to say.

He looked back at the body once more, and the words naturally just came out.

"I'm sorry that I'm still alive, when she isn't."

The pastor was quick to get him off the stage after that. Many of the guests started privately talking, whispering to whoever was closest. Irvin wasn't focused on them as he walked back. His gaze settled on his friend in the back of the room.

Terrence gave him a sad frown, which Irvin returned. He was disappointed in himself too.

Even after she died, he couldn't even handle saying anything at her funeral.

He really didn't deserve someone like her.

...

Irvin had silently excused himself and taken a seat on the staircase out front. He didn't have any more tears to shed. Instead, his sorrow manifested as a hollow feeling inside of him. Though that could also have been the fact that he hadn't eaten anything in a while.

He could still hear sounds from inside. Other people were giving proper remarks, far removed from the dribble he spat out. Eliza would have been happy to hear all of the nice things they'd said about her.

...Why was he even here?

Terrence was still inside, but the thought of going back with him didn't sit well with Irvin. After his friend had gone out of his way to drive over a hundred miles to get him here, all Irvin managed to do was ruin the service for everyone else by making it about him and his stupid insecurities. It would be a long drive back with that incident sitting between them.

...Without thinking, Irvin got up and started walking. It was ridiculous, his apartment was in another state, it wasn't like he'd be able to make it back on foot. Especially not without anything sitting in his stomach. And even if he happened to stumble across a bus stop, he didn't have nearly enough change to ride all the way back.

It was stupid to walk away. Deep down, Irvin knew it, but he wasn't even thinking about getting home. The desire to run away from everything overwhelmed his basic sense, and before he knew it he had broken out into a sprint.  
The autumn fog hid the path ahead, trees only became visible seconds before he would crash into them. A chill overtook the forest he'd unconsciously dashed into, cutting into his exposed arms like knives. Ill-suited for the funeral, and ill-suited for the woods, Irvin really had picked the worst possible outfit hadn't he? Soon his own tears were worsening his vision as well.

Soon enough however, Irvin had stumbled into an area of the woods where the fog had cleared out. An empty lot, almost suspiciously lacking the trees and fog that coated the surrounding wood.

That alone was unusual, but it was the sound of something large approaching that broke him out of his stupor. A screech of metal on metal, a repetitious chugging of pistons, and a loud whistle all painted the picture of what to expect.

Even so, when a train suddenly blazed past him, he found himself at a loss. Had he really missed the tracks on the ground, or were they simply not there before?

As the train carried on, it suddenly slowed down to a halt. As if on cue, the car which stopped right in front of him had a door. It opened right in front of him, but the car inside was too dark to make anything out. It was suspicious, and Irvin should have treated it as such.

But it didn't matter anymore. After everything he'd been through, he was just tired. As long as it took him far away, he didn't care where it took him.

The moment his foot crossed the threshold through the doorway, these thoughts all left him. A light traveled from within the car right at him at a high speed, and the next thing he knew…

…

…

Below his body, Irvin felt something soft and cushiony. It was more comfortable than the couch in his apartment, so it felt unnatural.

That wasn't even mentioning how bright the light above him was. It had to be about noonish, because the sun was right above him. The moment he recognized that though, he knew something was wrong. He was outside? But, he was definitely lying on something more comfortable than a park bench or grass…

And wait… didn't he get on a train?

Finally, as if spurred on by the disturbing questions, Irvin mustered the energy to sit up and look around. The number of questions he had rose exponentially as soon as he did.

He was sitting in some sort of… pod. It had a hard white exterior, but plush grey padding on the inside. Directly in front of him though was a video screen, which flicked on seemingly in direct response to him rising.

After some static, the display changed to an image of a metal orb with tiny nubs for limbs. A black strip went vertically across it, and the two white dots on top of each other gave the impression of eyes. If it was a toy, Irvin thought it would sell pretty well.

A british voice came out of it as it raised a stump. "Welcome aboard new passenger! My name is one-" suddenly, it's voice changed to a more melancholic tone " _-one._ "

...And then right back to cheerful brit. "I hope the ride wasn't bumpy! Some passengers have described horrible beasts attacking them and ripping them out of their pods before ever getting their introduction. So if that hasn't happened to you, consider yourself one of the lucky ones!"

"...H-Huh? What's-" Irvin starts.

"Now I'm sure you have a whole boatload of questions, but if you're asking them to the screen then you should know that I'm not actually there. This is just a video!" " _I could be dead for all you know._ "

"Don't worry though, I've done this enough times before to know what you're most likely to ask. You're probably thinking: 'Where am I?', 'Why am I here?', 'Which way is the nearest bathroom?'."

Irvin hadn't been wondering that last one. Although now that he'd mentioned it…

"I wrote a musical number to answer all of those questions and more!" " _But the critical world considered it uninspired and unnecessary, so I burned the script._ "

"So instead, I'm just going to tell you! This is a train where you sort out all of your problems! I'm almost entirely positive the biggest problem on your mind right now is that number on your hand. Unless you didn't notice it yet, in which case, it's the biggest problem on your miiiiiinnnnnnddddddd- now!"

Confused, Irvin looked down at his hands. His eyes went wide at the sight of his right, which glowed green from the palm. A number was written there in glowing text.

_764_

How did…? He rubs at it to try and wipe it off, but whatever ink they wrote it with doesn't smudge at all.

"Every passenger is assigned a number by the train based on their life, in order to grant each of you the most personalized experience we can offer." " _Not that your number is guaranteed to be unique..._ "

Wait, train? So the train was real, not some weird hallucination? But then where was it now?

"If you want to get back home, then all you've got to do is get your number down to zero, and poof! Away you'll go! If you need help dropping digits, don't be afraid to try asking others for help. After all, _your_ problems may seem rough, but _our_ problems can be worked on as a team." " _Unless your problems compliment each other perfectly to send you down a horrible spiral where you both continually enforce each others' worst selves, ensuring that you're trapped in here until one of you meets your end._ " "But don't worry, that has only ever happened twice."

...Irvin begins sweating, as fear starts creeping its way up his spine.

Instead of explaining more about what was going on, the tape breaks into legal jargon. " _By watching this tape you agree to release the train of any liabilities..._ " It goes on, but Irvin tunes the rest of it out.

Finally, he takes his attention off the screen and tries to get an idea of where he was. The surrounding land was outdoors still, but none of the scenery looked the same as the forest he'd been in before. The lot he was in before was empty, but there were clear landmarks here. A barn, a cow pen, some wandering sheep, and a house up on a nearby hill. Plenty of places to explore.

...Irvin sighs, and lies back down. There was just so much wrong with all of this, he needed a minute to take it all in. "Y-You're having a rough day Irvin… Let's f-figure this out."

He stands up, and starts pacing around his pod. "If I w-want to go home, then I n-need to get this number down to z-zero somehow. And th-this number has s-something to do with my life or something. I don't have any other numbers to u-use as a frame of reference, so there's n-no way to know if 764 is a particularly h-high number or a low one..."

That robot thing, One-one, had mentioned asking others for help. That meant he probably wasn't alone here either. If this was a farm, then there were probably farmers he could talk to. They might know something more about it.

"That _would_ be a good place to start, if I w-want to get this number down…" With that, Irvin knew exactly what he needed to do.

So he got back into his pod and lied back down.

"Why should I bother getting this d-down to zero? There's no p-point in going back home." He mutters to himself. "Eliza's already g-gone..."

It didn't really matter what Irvin did anymore. Nothing did.

"M-Might as well just lie here forever, until it's all over."

So… he went back to sleep.

...

...

...

" _...ey, are you okay?_ "

"Mmmnnnnhhhuh?" Irvin slurs, his eyes flickering open.

He could have sworn he'd heard someone, but the only thing he saw was a small mouse with weirdly pink fur that had made its home on his chest. Instinctively, he tries to smack it off.

It escapes by leaping forward and grabbing him by the chin, it's tiny nails lightly grazing him.

"Hey! Is that any way to thank your savior?"

...Irvin's arm freezes in the air, as he realizes that the voice was coming from the mouse itself.

"...W-What?"

"Honestly, you probably didn't even realize you were in danger. You really shouldn't be sleeping in a place like this, it's dangerous." The rodent releases his chin and sits back down on Irvin's chest. She slides toward his gut as he quickly sits up.

"You're t-talking. That's… unusual." An understatement, but Irvin was too emotionally exhausted to give a greater reaction. He shakes his head. "D-Danger?"

"The cows, simpleton." The mouse points towards the nearby pen. It looked about the same as it did before. "The farmer took them out for a walk, and you nearly got trampled. Luckily, _I_ was here to warn them that you were here."

A small part of him was upset that she spared him from dying in his sleep. It would have been a lot easier than sitting around waiting for it all to end. "R-Really?"

"Of course. They were all nice enough to go past you, see?" The mouse motioned towards a single hoofprint pressed into the grass right beside his pod. Irvin looked around, but didn't see any other prints aside from the one.

"...I-Isn't that a horse's hoofprint? Cow prints l-look kind of different."

"Perhaps the cow that left this print fancied wearing horseshoes." The mouse remarks, avoiding Irvin's eyes.

"A-Also, shouldn't there be m-more than one? Even if it w-was just one cow, there should b-be tracks leading here f-first, right?"

"...You should have seen how far the cow jumped. Straight from the pen to here, just a few feet off and you would have been the world's first stuttering pancake. You're welcome for that." She remarks quickly, waving off Irvin's concerns.

"...Even then, shouldn't there at least be four prints?" Irvin asks, disbelief clear in his voice.

The rodent finally turns back to Irvin with a frustrated expression. Moreso than a mouse likely should have been able to express. "Oh? And were _you_ awake to see what all happened?"

"N-No."

"Then I would prefer if you stopped trying to cast doubt on my claims. Honestly, even after I stuck out my neck for you. How ungrateful can you be?"

Irvin was almost certain that he was getting scammed, but he relents anyways. "S-Sorry… Thank you for d-doing that, I guess."

The mouse claps her hands together. "That's more like it. You're very welcome. But since I did you a good turn, I'd appreciate it if you could help me out with something. You know, return the favor a bit since you're _so_ grateful for my help."

Irvin rolls over in his pod. "No thanks."

"Huh?"

"Thank y-you for helping, b-but I'm t-too busy to help with whatever you want." He says, burying his face into his pillow.

He felt the creature move up to his shoulders. "Excuse me, but are you seriously trying to tell me that you're busy when you've been sleeping here for the past hour?"

"My current p-plan is just to lie down here forever until I die. You're k-kind of interrupting it."

There was silence for a minute after that. Then suddenly, the mouse bit his cheek, making him let out a yelp of pain.

"S-S-S-Stop that!" He shouted, sitting up quickly and looking for her. The small creature had fallen back down to his body, and was crawling her way down his overalls. "H-Hey! Not that way! I'll s-squash you if- Gah!" She bit him again while he was shouting.

After a few more bites and a couple scratches, Irvin had jumped to his feet and relented. "Alright! W-What do you want?"

That gets the aggressive rodent to cease her assault. She climbs up his shirt and takes refuge on his shoulders.

"I knew you would see things my way eventually." She says.

"Just t-tell me what it'll take to g-get you to leave me alone."

"Well," she takes on a friendlier tone before buttering him up, "I couldn't help but notice that you were a human, and that you had such _large_ hands." She slides down Irvin's arm into the palm of his left hand. "You can imagine how hard it is for me to lift things with my own, given how small they are. That's a bit of a problem though, as there's this little door I need to open up. If _only_ a dashing young man with strong working hands could open it up for me. Why, I might call such a hypothetical person a lifesaver."

Irvin sighs, tucking the mouse into the front pocket of his overalls. "I already said I'd do it, you don't have to d-dance around the subject."

"I was only trying to express how grateful I would be for your assistance." She explains, adjusting itself inside the pocket to stick its head out. "So, you have a name sweetheart, or should I just refer to you as the stuttering boy in overalls?"

"I-It's Irvin."

"My my, and such a… a _strong_ name for a strong man."

"Seriously, stop it."

"Ah, I should introduce myself too, shouldn't I?"

Irvin didn't really care, so he didn't reply. That got him a nibble on the shoulder. "Gh- What's y-y-your name?"

"Well if you _must_ know, you may call me Princess."

He sighs. "C-Could you just tell me where the door is already?"

...

Irvin stared at the nonsensical door, trying to understand why it was there. It was a red door with a weird gold colored handle. The handle looked like a circle split in half, positioned in a reverse-S shape. It looked like you needed to rotate both parts to open it, so he understood why Princess would need help getting through this.

At least he _would_ if the door appeared to lead anywhere. Instead it was installed in a seemingly random patch of grass, connecting to nothing.

"...W-Why don't you just g-go around the d-door?" Irvin asks, confusedly. He walks around it to demonstrate just how easy it was. Princess lets out a small chuckle.

"Tsk tsk, I'd try opening it up before you write it off as unnecessary. I think you'll be quite surprised." She says. Irvin shrugs, but follows the requests. He grips the handle, and rotates it until he hears a clicking noise. With little effort, he's finally able to push the door open.

"H-H-Huh? Huh!?"

Behind the door was a metal platform, surrounded by entirely different scenery. It was almost like the doorway was a screen livestreaming footage from somewhere completely different.

"W-What? B-But the-" Irvin leaned around to check, but the back of the door hadn't moved with the front. "How… Wait."

He steps through to investigate. There was a bridge immediately in front of him, connecting the platform he was on to a massive metal structure. When he saw the wheels at the bottom, it finally clicked for him what he was looking at. They were train cars.

This _was_ the train.

"Then… th-that whole farm was just one c-car?"

"Amazing, isn't it?" Princess remarks. "And there are oh so many more of them to explore."

Irvin goes to the side of the platform to try and count how many, but there were so many cars he couldn't even begin counting them all. Same problem looking back. Outside of that however, his attention was drawn to the surrounding area. Far from the forest he'd been in before the train and the lively farmland from moments ago, all he could see was a desert far as the eye could see. It was a dismal sight, not helped by the dark and cloudy red sky above.

"Where… are we?"

"Oh? Do you finally care?" Princess asks, snark leaking into her voice.

The reminder of his prior plan brought him back to reality. Horrible horrible reality. "..."

She must have noticed his hesitation, because she shifts to a less mocking tone. "Could you get the next one as well? You know, since you're already out here."

"...Y-Yeah, sure." Irvin says. He walks across the bridge connecting the two cars with one hand firmly on the guardrails the whole time. He was looking at a multi-story drop if he fell off, not even considering what would happen to him if he fell into the wheels. The very idea had Irvin's stomach dropping, so he moved quickly. The same speed was maintained when it came to opening the next door.

When he steps through, he notices that the door was actually installed into a wall this time. That lessened the unnatural portal-like effect a little bit. The car itself was vastly different, as it had the appearance of a mattress store. Compared to the much larger plot of land with a number of structures from the previous car, this was a single indoor building with a much clearer purpose. Beds, bare mattresses, pillows and blankets, and more were laid out all along the store.

There were a few other people looking around, except those 'people' were actually anthropomorphised cutlery and dishes. And yet again, a perfectly weird element had been undermined by a much greater reveal.

"Alright, we're in the next c-car. Is that all you wanted?"

Princess crawls out of his pocket, and leaps from his shoulder to his head. "I'll admit, this certainly beats that drab little farm. However, it's not exactly what I had in mind either. I was hoping for something a little more suited to my _exotic_ and _refined_ tastes. This store is a tad bit too… common."

"What's wrong with that?"

" _Common_ is perfectly fine for commoners like you, but I like to think of myself as someone deserving of nicer things. And while those mattress may seem comfortable, the dull decor of this car is unforgivable. We can certainly do better than this, don't you think?"

"...Like what?" He asks.

She leans down to give Irvin a toothy grin, before launching into a whole new pitch. "Well, the way I see it our interests are aligned. As a passenger, I imagine that you have a number you need to bring down to zero, right?"

Irvin raises his hand to look at it. It hadn't changed at all, still stuck at 764. "N-No… not really."

"Oh? But don't you have any family to-"

" _No._ " Irvin quickly says. "No… not anymore…"

"No one at all?" Princess asks.

"...Nobody who would c-care anymore."

"...I see. What about friends?"

He scoffs. "Better off without me."

"...Pets?"

"Never had any."

"What about just… for your own sake?"

Irvin just laughs at that one.

Realizing that track wasn't working, she shifts her argument "Fine! I get it, you're a sad nobody who nobody will ever miss. But unlike you, I have hopes, and dreams, and desires that are completely unachievable for me because I am physically incapable of opening these stupid doors!"

She jumps off of Irvin's head to the handle of the door they'd just come through. She tries to stomp on it to make it turn, but it doesn't move an inch. After a few attempts, she lets out a dejected sigh and gives up. Irvin couldn't help but sympathize after watching such a sad display.

"...W-What are you t-t-trying to find?" He asks. Princess climbs up the doorframe and leaps back onto him before responding.

"Nothing specific. I just want to find a car where I can finally feel at home. Some place where I can rest comfortably, indulge in all sorts of pleasures, and enjoy all of the finer things in life." She explains wistfully.

"Does a c-c-car like that actually exist?" Irvin asks.

"I won't know until I look, right?" She responds, determinedly. "If I just keep looking for my perfect car, eventually I'll just have to find it, right?"

Irvin glanced over at some of the beds. His original plan of 'sleep until I'm dead' was tempting. But Princess had made a valid point. If he didn't desire anything, then the least he could do is help her live up to her own dreams.

"I guess… y-yeah, okay. I d-don't really have anything b-better to do." Irvin says, nodding.

Princess lets out a shrill noise of approval, and gives him a tiny peck on the cheek. "Thank you thank you thank you! If you can find me some luxury car, we'll be more than even for me saving your life earlier."

"Are we s-still pretending that happened?" He asks.

"Yes, so play along." She whispers in his ear, even though _he_ was the one she was trying to fool. It was stupid, but Irvin couldn't help but chuckle. As he's about to seek out the car's exit, he hears something coming from his hand. The numbers on it were moving like a slot machine, before settling on a new value.

_743_

"I-It changed!" Irvin says, showing Princess.

"Is that good?" She asks.

"I… don't know." He admits, not entirely sure how to feel about it. "But why did it d-drop by t-twenty-one all of a sudden?"

"I'm not sure... Numbers are a passenger problem, and nobody's ever explained how they work to me."

"..." Irvin just stares at his hand, trying to unravel what it could mean. What caused the drop? Why did it go down by that amount?

...And if he didn't want to go home, should he try to prevent it from going down further?


	2. The Big Blue Beetle Car

"Alright… if I-I give you these p-pearls, y-you'll give me that s-sponge, right?" Irvin asks the caveman looking fellow.

"Un un." He responds, nodding his head. It sounded enough like a yes for Irvin to place the necklace on the table and walk away with the goods. With that quest item acquired, he went back to the booth run by the sentient water creature. The owner was jiggling with anticipation when he saw him.

"Hey, R-Randall, I finally got the s-sponge you wanted." He says, holding it out to the strange being. "I had to t-trade with almost thirty other p-people to get it."

"Excellent! Put it on the floor, I've been dying to try this."

Shrugging, Irvin does as he's asked. Randall extends part of himself on top of the cleaning object, and as expected it absorbs part of him. A visible cringe travels up his entire liquid body.

"Wow! That's horrible! Do me a favor and throw it _really_ far away. As far as you can toss it."

"...Do you mean that? Are you being s-serious?"

"Yep."

...Irvin reluctantly does so, almost shedding a tear over the amount of effort he'd put in to acquire it. It goes flying past the booths, and into some brush out of their sight.

"Thanks a ton. Now, as promised, one gen-u-ine bon-a-fide exit door!"

He inches to the side, motioning to the door behind him.

"F-Finally…" Irvin mutters happily. "Come on P-Princess, the fetch q-quest is over." He says, nudging a lump inside his front pocket with a finger. The mouse's head pokes out a few seconds later.

"Mmn? We're still here?" She asks in a groggy voice.

"N-Not for much longer. B-Bye Randall." Irvin says, as he twists the door handle to leave.

"Ah no problem whatsoever. Let me know if you find any more sponges though, I'd love to watch you get rid of them."

"...Y-Yeah."

Irvin steps through, closing it behind them. As soon as they're out he detenses and slides down to the ground with a long sigh.

"All that w-work… So m-many t-trades… and he d-didn't even keep it." He says in a defeated voice.

"It was never about the sponge though." Princess reminds. "From the very start it was about the door. The sponge didn't matter any more than that can of sardines we traded for that weird circle thing."

"That was a DVD." Irvin says.

"That word means nothing to me. Either way, it was simply a prop in the long line of trades we needed to make. Just like the sponge. See my point?"

"..." Irvin sighs, standing back up. "I g-guess…"

"Lovely! Now come on, up and at 'em, we've got a whole new car to explore!"

He walks over the bridge, less panicked than his first time but still not willing to look down until he made it to the other side. When they arrive, he knocks on the door and mutters "Six".

"Are you going to do that for every new car?" Princess asks.

"I-It helps to k-keep track of how many we've gone through." He explains. "I d-don't have any p-paper to write a list, but if we need to backtrack to anywhere it w-will be easier if we can remember where each car is."

"I suppose you have a point." She relents. "Do whatever you have to do to keep track then."

He nods, and pushes open the door. When he tries to step through however, he immediately bumps into a human-sized iguana.

"Urp!" It shakes like a leaf. "D-Don't shake me, I'll spew chunks!" It pleads.

"Oh, s-sorry…" It was hard to get past with the iguana right in front of the doorway, but Irvin carefully squeezes past him.

In front of the nauseous reptile was a long line of animals. Some larger than normal, some smaller, but a majority appearing the size you would expect. The line was decently long, but not enough that he couldn't see the end. Everyone was lining up in front of a tent, behind which Irvin could just make out the border of the exit door. Each time an animal went in, they either came out the other end and went through the door or came back out the front. Those that returned went to a seating area off to the side. It was mostly empty, save a few frustrated looking animals.

A big blue beetle holding a clipboard steps outside the tent, noticing Irvin by the car's entrance. He quickly waves him over, ignoring the rest of the line for a minute.

"Huh? I th-thought we'd have to wait." Irvin whispers to Princess.

"Let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. Go on." She responds. A nearby horse huffs at her comment, making Irvin wonder if the phrase was actually speciesist. Was Princess a speciesist!? ...Okay, he was definitely overthinking it.

He walks up, feeling a little guilty for the giraffe at the front he passes in front of, and goes inside the tent. A small table with a chair for him to sit in is set up inside. The beetle sat at the other end. "Um, h-hi?"

"Hey. Who wants to use the exit." The beetle drolls apathetically.

"Uh… Me?" Irvin confusedly responds.

"Name?" It asks, looking Irvin over from top to bottom.

"Irvin K-Kemp. A-And this is Princess." He says, motioning to the mouse in his pocket. The beetle flips through the pages on his clipboard.

It shakes its head. "Nope, you don't meet the criteria."

"Huh? What criteria?"

"Not allowed to say. ' _Each entrant must discover the entry requirements on their own accord._ '" It recites like this was the millionth time it had said it. "Figure it out, and then come back up and try again if you want. That or leave the way you came. Go sit with the other rejected entrants until then."

Irvin gets up to leave out the way he came, but pauses. He turns back to the beetle. "What about the l-line? Why c-can we just skip it?"

"Passenger privilege." The beetle explains, pointing at Irvin's right hand. "Passengers and any companions they come in with are allowed to skip the line."

"Oh… Why?"

"Something about them needing the door more, since waiting around too long means less progress on getting their numbers down." It shrugs. "Or something like that. I dunno man. I didn't make the rules, I just work here."

"Okay then…" He mutters to himself. "Thanks."

They leave the tent, and make their way over to the seating area. Irvin notices a table with free notepads and pens on the way, and grabs one before taking a seat with a decent view of the line.

"Do you think we could try making a run for the exit?" Princess asks, noting the lackluster security.

"But if the d-door is locked, then we won't have an escape r-ready after making a scene." Irvin points out, which gets Princess nodding in agreement.

"Right… Then what _is_ the plan?"

Irvin looks up at the line, and writes something down as a badger leaves out the exit. "The beetle said that we didn't meet the c-criteria, but that we should return when we d-do. We just need to collect data on which people get rejected, and w-which are let through. If we have enough data, we m-may be able to uncover a pattern in who all is let through."

He writes a bit more as a donkey comes out and joins them in the sitting area. Princess nods approvingly.

"Not bad… And here I was starting to think you weren't good for anything other than simple labor." She jokes.

"Hey, I t-take offense to that. I never claimed to be good at simple labor." He says back. They share a short chuckle, before he returns to carefully analyzing the crowd let through. It couldn't take too long for a pattern to emerge...

...

Hours. Hours had passed by with no conclusion in sight.

Even as the minutes pass, Irvin patiently keeps track of the unique individuals passing by. Princess has no such tolerance for this delay, and occupies herself by digging around in Irvin's pockets.

"What _is_ this photo of you? Why on Earth would you ever let them print such a hideous thing?"

"I-It's a driver's license photo. They a-always look terrible."

"Well if I were you, I would have sooner chosen never to drive if the alternative was letting someone print _this._ "

"It's less for driving, and more identification. I d-don't even have a car."

She sets the license back down, and continues digging through his wallet. "Let's see… you're a few stamps away from getting a free coffee."

"O-Oh, that's not actually m-mine. I d-don't drink coffee, I just f-found it on the sidewalk." Irvin says.

"So between that, the way you dress, and how little money is in here, I'm going to guess you aren't particularly rich, are you?" She asks.

"Ha ha haaa… With how m-much interest has built up on my college debt, I'm j-just lucky I haven't gone bankrupt yet…"

"You really strive to apply a uniquely sad touch to everything, don't you?"

"It's p-practically my brand." Irvin mutters, writing something down.

Princess hops out of his pocket and onto his notepad, causing Irvin to scrawl a line off the edge in surprise "So... how does your data look? Did you find any sort of pattern yet?"

"H-Huh? Oh, uh…" He pockets the photo and stares at the page he'd managed to fill out. "Well… not really. There are a f-few things that are c-consistent, but n-not enough to draw any c-conclusions."

As he starts going over the research, he stands up and starts pacing back and forth. Princess climbs to his shoulder so he could better view his data. "A lot of the equines made it through, b-but none of the three zebras were given exit. And of the u-unsually-sized animals, the ones that were bigger than usual were let in more than the ones s-smaller than the norm. Actually, j-just counting those, the o-oversized ones had a slightly higher ratio of being let in than both normal-sized and miniature creatures."

"What does any of that mean though?" Princess asks.

"...I have no idea" He sighs, dropping the notepad down onto the ground. He sinks into his seat and holds his hands over his face. "It all f-feels c-consistent, but the rules are s-so specific or arbitrary that I-I just have no idea what they're looking for."

"...Hmm…" She picks up his discarded data, and begins looking over it. "I see what you mean. ' _Overweight felines and canines made it in at a 78% higher rate than lighter or average sized ones._ '"

"It's not c-consistent enough to be a true pattern."

"Good, because there's absolutely no way I'm putting on weight, even if it would get us out of here."

He takes the notes back, letting Princess still look over his shoulder as he starts writing something on a new page. "Maybe if we rule out any v-variables that occur in l-less than 80% of instances entirely. What w-would that leave us with?"

As the two were going over their recorded data, trying to get _something_ out of it, they missed the entrance opening. A person steps through, looking around curiously. The blue beetle waves him over after a few seconds, and he was out of sight before the pair had a chance to spot him.

"...None of th-this is conclusive enough." Irvin admits with a sigh. "Maybe if we e-expand the data pool a little more, we'll r-reach a point where we either r-rule out all datapoints we tracked, or a few related variables will r-reach a high enough s-success ratio to lead us toward the a-answer."

"If you think it'll work." Princess says with a tired sigh. She then slides back into Irvin's pocket with a yawn. "Wake me when the dull part has passed."

And so Irvin turned his attention back to the tent, prepared to write down everything he could about whoever stepped out next.

...Only to drop his pen in shock when a young human boy, definitely not a day older than 10, came out the front of the tent, walking towards the seating area.

"P-P-P-Princess?" He stutters out. "Look."

"What is it now-" She sticks her head out and freezes just as Irvin had.

The boy spots Irvin, and a second later he's bolting towards the pair.

"A-A kid?" Irvin spits out in shock as the child skids to a stop in front of them.

"Civilian! Are you from not here too?" The kid quickly asks, holding up his right hand to show a glowing number similar to Irvin's. His was a lot lower however.

_44 _

"...C-Civilian? What a-are you talking about kid-"

"I'm no kid! I'm a superhero that everyone in the world counts on to save the day! I'm the invincible **Power Boy!** "

"...Huh?"

Irvin rubs his eyes and takes another look at the boy. He was wearing a generic black hero mask that you could probably get with any costume. There was also the cape, which looked like somebody had cut out part of an old bed sheet; his boots, which looked a lot like normal rain boots; and the heart print boxer shorts, which wasn't even the right kind of underwear for the hero look but was far less awkward than it would have been for the kid to be running around in briefs.

When you put it all together, the boy looked exactly like a child pretending to be a superhero.

"I like your mouse. Does she talk too?" He asks, staring right at Princess.

"Why of course I do!" She remarks. "It would be weird if I couldn't, wouldn't it?"

"Well, everything in here is kind of weird, but animals that can't talk would be kind of normal. So I guess it would be weird _in here_ if you couldn't talk."

She climbs out of Irvin's pocket and leaps onto the boy's cap. "What a clever insight! Is ' _above average intellect_ ' one of your powers perchance?"

"No, mine are mostly general Kryptonian ones. Super strength, flight, invulnerability. No laser or x-ray vision though, my mask would get in the way of them."

"How truly inconvenient that would be." She says in a humored tone. "Irvin, he isn't a mind reader, so introduce yourself already."

"A-Ah, right." Finally, Irvin sticks out his hand, which Power Boy takes in a handshake. "Hi. I'm I-Irvin. What's your real name?"

The question causes the boy to recoil back. "You want to know my secret identity? The whole point of a disguise is so that you _don't_ know who I am!"

"Tch tch tch" Princess gives a mock sigh of disappointment. "Come now Irvin, you can't be asking that of a masked hero!"

Irvin just stares at the pair like they've gone insane. No words were needed, as reasoning with the unreasonable would be futile.

"Fine. Um... How long have you b-been here, P-Power Boy? On the train?"

"Uh… I dunno." Power Boy shrugs. "I just woke up in this white thing that played a video, and then a wiggly water guy wanted me to tear up a sponge or something for him? Then I went through this door, and I was on this _huge_ train! Like I knew trains were supposed to be long, but I didn't realize they were so tall. But since I can fly, I'm totally used to being that high, and I made it across the bridge really easily. I wasn't scared at all!"

The addition of that last detail made Irvin absolutely certain that Power Boy had been scared to cross the bridge.

The kid rubs the back of his head. "That was all just a little while ago. Do you know how much longer it'll be until my number goes down to zero and I can go home? Mom's making mac and cheese tonight, and if I'm not home in time I won't get the noodles on top. And those have the really nice crispier cheese on them."

"Uh…" Irvin wasn't sure what to say. He looks to Princess, who just shrugs with uncertainty. In the end, Irvin settled on telling the truth. "I don't r-really know… I've been here for more than a d-day now, but my number has only g-gone down once."

He holds up his right hand to flash the three digit number. "I d-don't know what makes them change, but the first time mine went down it dropped by 21 points. If that's an average amount, then you s-should be off in t-two to three drops."

The kid turns back to his own hand. "Huh. Okay, then we just have to figure out how to make them drop." He thinks for a minute, before adding "Oh! The big blue bug in that tent wouldn't let me leave. Do you know what he wants?"

Irvin grimaces. "We've been trying to f-figure that out for h-hours now." He holds out his notebook for Power Boy to look at. The kid takes it and flips through.

"Hmm… Mm-hmm… Interesting… Oh!"

"What?" Irvin asks.

"Is this like _Green Glass Door?_ " He asks. It took Irvin a minute to realize what Power Boy was referencing.

Princess hops back to his shoulders, and whispers in his ears. "Do you have any idea what he's talking about?"

"I-It's a schoolyard game. One k-kid who knows the trick tries to get other kids to suggest things that could or could not b-be taken through the green glass d-door. Like…"

He presses a finger to his temple to dig up a good example, before coming out with "I'm going through the g-green glass door, and I'm bringing _boots_ but not _sandals._ " The look he was getting from Princess made it clear she didn't understand, so he further clarified. "The trick to that g-game was knowing that you c-could only bring in items that had c-consecutive repeating letters in their name. That's w-why it was called _Gr_ _ee_ _n Gla_ _ss_ _D_ _oo_ _r_. O-Once you knew the trick, the g-goal was to keep everyone else out of the l-loop for as long as you could while making valid suggestions."

"Like... I'm gonna bring Larry, but not Bob." Power Boy suggests.

"H-Harry, but not R-Ron." Irvin follows.

"A passenger, but not a denizen." Princess concludes with a smile, proving she'd understood. Power Boy gives her two thumbs up.

"Yeah, you've got it! So what if it's the same here?" He asks. "A word thing?"

Irvin takes back his data, and tries to find any sort of pattern in the grammar of which animals were accepted. "Hmm… A-Ah! Frequency!"

"Frequency?" Princess asks.

"The a-animals that make it through! The m-more common the letter that s-starts their name, the more l-likely it is that they'll make it through! That's why zebras never make it, but horses do m-more often than not."

That was only half of the problem unfortunately. "But your name begins with 'I'. That's rather common, is it not? And that still doesn't account for those animals whose species began with common letters that were still excluded for some reason." Princess points out. Irvin was prepared for that response though.

"I'm not saying that frequency is the s-solution. But if we c-can observe patterns based on it, th-then that m-means the solution to this p-puzzle is probably also steeped in l-language."

"Like their names or something?" Power Boy says.

"Maybe, b-but I don't think we'd be able to change o-ours to comply. We c-could always introduce ourselves differently though…" Irvin muses. "Let's just try talking to them for now. A-Ask a few questions, and see if a-anything stands out."

"Okay! I'm gonna start with the citizens in line." Power Boy declares, marching away towards the animals near the tent.

That left Irvin sitting alone with Princess. "I g-guess we have the ones over here then."

...

" _Yawn,_ sorry… can't talk... up next." the massive ladybug replies, before walking in. Not much information to work with.

With that rejection, Power Boy tries the person next in line. A pink polar bear in a dress.

"What do you think?" It asks. "Do I look good?"

"Umm… Yeah, I think so." Power Boy responds. "Though Power Boy is more of a hero than a fashion critic."

"Perfect! Thank you." It gently pats him on the head, before entering the tent.

"Huh…" He shook his head with confusion. That must have meant something, but he didn't know what.

When he turns around, he notices the ladybug leaving out the exit.

"Hmmmm…"

...

"Maybe they didn't buy it… I can be smart, I really can!" The giraffe insisted. "Pi equals delicious, and E equals M.C. Hammer!"

"...Uh-" Irvin tried to get a word in, but the giraffe just walked back towards the line in a huff, insisting that he was smart enough.

"Th-That was weird…" Irvin states, as though it wasn't obvious.

"But it seemed like he understood something at least." Princess points out.

He feels a tap on his shoulder, and turns to see a jackal. "'Scuse me? Mind if I ask ya somethin'?"

"Huh? Er, what?"

" _Generous._ What letter's that start with, J or G?"

"G." Irvin and Princess state in unison. The jackal starts pulling its hair in frustration at the response. It walks away, grumbling something about wasting money for nothing. Irvin brings a finger to his chin, as pieces begin falling into place for him.

...

When they all meet back up, they share what they saw. With all of it put together, Irvin is the one to crack the code for them.

"It's alliteration." He concludes. "Th-That explains why the person judging us was a _big blue beetle_."

"I get it…" Power Boy says, nodding his head. "So that ladybug was… a _large lazy ladybug_ , so he got in. And that _polar_ bear was _pretty_ and _pink!_ That's why they let her in too."

"Then we just need the right words to introduce ourselves with?" Princess suggests. "I think I know what I'll be going with. How about you two."

"Um… O-Oh, I have mine." Irvin says after a moment of thought.

"Mmmmmmmnnnn…" Power Boy thinks for a minute before looking at Princess. "Can I just copy what you say?"

"Th-That might not w-work. I think the only r-reason that one giraffe was rejected was b-because he said _genius_ when he really wasn't. So whatever you say p-probably has to be accurate to who you a-are."

"Oh." He rubs his head. "Then… Ah! I know!"

"What d-did you come up with?" Irvin asks. Before he lets his phrase out, he glances around at all the other animals.

"Can I wait to say it in the tent?" He leans in closer to Irvin and whispers. " _It's a secret._ "

Irvin shrugs with casual acceptance. He tucks the notepad and pen in his pocket for later, and the three of them make their way back to the front of the line. As a somber horse exits the front, they go inside to face the beetle once more.

It was sitting at the table just as it had been before. When it sees them, it lets out a sigh. "Let's get this over with… Who wants to use the exit?" It asks.

Princess goes first, leaping onto the table and striking a confident pose. "The _practically perfect Princess._ "

...The beetle gives her a look that screams ' _practically perfect? Yeah right._ '

Irvin sighs. He'd been expecting this, and had his own solution. "This is th-the _particularly proud Princess._ " He explains.

"Hey!"

"Good enough." The beetle says with a nod. He looks up at Irvin. "You?"

"I'm the _irrelevant inferior, Irvin_ K-Kemp."

The beetle stares at him for a moment. "Harsh. But acceptable I guess." His eyes land on the kid beside Irvin. "And you?"

A smirk comes across his face, as he strikes a pose. "I am Power Boy! Hero to all good citizens of the world! And even some of the bad ones if they are not actively engaged in villainy."

The beetle facepalms. "Seriously? That's not-"

Before he can finish, the kid leans in to finish his introduction. "Don't tell anyone about this, but I'm _really Rico Ricardio._ Secret identity though, no telling!"

"Rico?" Irvin repeats. "Th-That's-"

"A lovely name! It's strong, fitting for a young hero such as yourself." Princess compliments, jumping on top of Rico's head. "Right Irvin?"

He rubs the back of his head. "I was just going t-to say it was convenient. Since it f-fits this car's puzzle so well."

"It's both! My true name is strong _and_ convenient!" He declares, pounding his chest proudly. He freezes, and opens the palm of his hand to stare at it. Quickly, he holds it up to show Irvin. "Look! It went down!"

_42_

It wasn't much, but the number on his palm had gone down by two points suddenly. If the drops could be that minimal, then Irvin realized there was a possibility it would take Rico 42 more drops before he got his way out. And that was assuming their digits would stick to whole numbers…

"Hey, if you're done, can you leave already?" The beetle asks. It rises and pulls back the tent flap behind him. "You all got it, now get out. You're holding up the line."

"He has a point. Come along now you two." Despite telling them to come with her, Princess once more played passenger on Irvin's body. A leap got her to his arm, and he quickly put her on his shoulder before she scratched her way up.

The door was right outside the tent, so Rico gave it a good twist and held it open for Irvin to follow through after him. As soon as they were outside, he grabbed Irvin's pant leg.

"Since I can fly, it's safer for you if I keep a good hold while we cross." He explains.

"...Whatever you say. J-Just don't look down." Irvin says, setting a hand on the boy's back and tucking Princess safely into his pocket before slowly crossing. The bridge rattled slightly from the vibrations of the cars' movements, causing Rico to tense up as they moved. Irvin didn't comment on it, but tightened his grip a bit as they went.

When they make it over, Irvin doesn't knock on the door. Instead, he pulls out his notepad and makes a short list of the cars they'd traveled prior. As he does so, he notices something.

His number had gone down again.

_736_

Quietly, he flips to the next page and starts making a list. _764, 743, 736…_

Next to that, he writes two more numbers. _44, 42…_

"So," Princess whispers, "we'll be keeping him around?"

He looks up at Rico, who was currently trying to build up the confidence to look down over the railing, but barely able to look anywhere other than towards the sky. "W-We can't leave him. He's j-just a kid, he could get himself hurt. Besides, he's going the same direction as us, s-so it's not like we could just lose him."

"Oh, I'm not complaining." She says with a wave of her hand. "He's adorable, we simply _must_ keep him. I'm just glad you aren't opposing it."

Irvin makes a confused face. "W-W-What did you think I'd s-say?"

On cue, she gives a mocking impression of Irvin. " _I c-can't be trusted with ch-ch-children, I'm a b-big baby myself. H-H-H-He'd be safer if he w-wasn't around such a l-loser waste of space like me._ "

"..."

"Too mean?" She asks. "If the impression wasn't to your liking, then blame yourself for providing so much material to mock."

"..He p-probably would be better off with a-anyone else-"

"Oh come- it was a joke!" She exclaims loudly enough for Rico to look over at them. "Don't actually start with that."

"I'm j-just saying! I'm no g-good with kids. Most babies cry when I even c-come close to them… I'll t-try to keep him safe, but that's all I'll be good for."

"Not to worry!" Rico declares, butting into their conversion. "Power Boy can watch over himself just fine!"

"Is there a reason Power Boy is staring up at the sky?" Princess asks.

"Yes. A really good one too." He says, with no further explanation.

Irvin shakes his head, and opens the door to the next car for them all. They step inside…

...And find themselves smack dab in the middle of a zoo. Many of the animals they'd previously seen in the line were either sitting in exhibits or were working as employees guiding guests on tours, running stalls, or monitoring the safety of visitors.

"Oh. That k-kind of explains it." Irvin says to himself.

Rico runs ahead to check out all of the exhibits, leaving Irvin on the backfoot to catch up. Despite himself, Irvin couldn't help but smile as he ran after him.


	3. The Grade School Car

As Irvin steps out of the car, he pulls the hockey mask off of his face and casually flings it to the wasteland.  
  
“You may not want to write off masks so quickly with your appearance.” Princess teases. He rolls his eyes.  
  
“Write the c-car name for me, please? I c-can’t spare both of my hands.” He readjusts the sleeping child on his back to emphasize his point. Princess ducks her head down, and pops out with his notebook and pen in her hands. She scrolls down a list of car names, before finding a blank spot below _Tanuki Shop Car._ With the best penmanship she can muster while holding a pen as long as she is tall, she writes _Ice-Hockey Car_.  
  
After tucking his things back in the pocket, she returns to teasing. “Honestly, I don’t know why you were complaining so much. You had all that padding on, and the puck wasn’t even bigger than me.  
  
“It w-wasn’t the size, it was the speed. And y-you don’t really get to c-complain, since I’m the one carrying all the weight right now.”  
  
“Well excuse me, but I can carry my weight just fine as a matter of fact.”  
  
Irvin simply stops halfway across the bridge, Rico on his back and Princess in his pocket. It takes a few seconds, but the point seems to get across. Her cheeks flush slightly and she ducks down deeper into his pocket. “...This doesn’t count.”  
  
He chuckles a bit, and keeps walking. When they reach the door, he shakes Rico a bit to jostle him awake.  
  
“N-Next car. Time to wake up.” He says. With a drawn out yawn, Rico opens his eyes.  
  
“Huh… All dark still…” He mumbles. Irvin sets him down and flips his mask back to the side with eye holes in it. “Oh. Good morning.”  
  
After straightening his mask, his eyes lock onto his right hand. The number hadn’t changed after reaching 42. A frown spread across his face. “When’s it gonna go down again?” He asks.  
  
“I s-still don’t know.” Irvin says.  
  
“...I hope mom and dad aren’t mad at me for getting on a train for days without telling them.”  
  
The question of how time functioned between reality and this train’s dimension was one that none of them had an answer for. They carried on under the assumption that it passed by normally, but that created uncomfortable implications when considering the effects of their sudden disappearances. Friends and families possibly worried sick about them, efforts spent searching for people that couldn’t be found, and no way of even letting them know that they were safe…  
  
“I’m sure they’ll be more grateful for your return than they are upset with you.” Princess assures, drawing a smile out of the boy. “Still, no reason to keep them waiting. The door, Irvin?”  
  
“I w-was getting to it.” He grumbles, reaching forward to twist open the door handle.  
  
Rico rushes in eagerly, only to come to a dead stop when he sees what’s waiting for them.  
  
“Aw, this is just school.” He whines.  
  
It appeared that the door had brought them straight into the hallway of a school building. It was filled with children moving between classrooms and chatting by their lockers. These were some of the weirdest looking denizens yet, because they clearly _weren’t_ normal humans. They had all of the same elements, but they just looked like they didn’t belong in the same reality as them. It was like comparing the humans and toons in _Who Framed Roger Rabbit._ Bizarre...  
  
Princess sighs. “At least this car isn’t quite as cold as the last.”  
  
“It’s just elementary from the l-looks of things.” Irvin says, observing the kids filling the halls. “N-Not the worst possible place to be. Boring, sure, b-but things don’t get _really_ bad until m-middle school. S-Still, let’s find the exit fast.”  
  
They can barely start walking down the hallway before an older woman steps out of a room and spots them.  
  
“You three!” She shouts, jabbing a thumb back toward the door she’d shut just a second ago. “My office, now!”  
  
“Oh man! We’re getting called into the Principal’s office on the first day of school? My mom’s gonna kill me.” Rico lets out a groan.  
  
“Uh, it’s p-probably just a p-puzzle or challenge that’ll end with us unlocking the exit.” Irvin points out. “That’s how it’s b-been for the past few cars…”  
  
They follow the woman into the room she’d just exited. Straight past the waiting area, they enter the main office. After taking a seat behind her desk, she motions to the two seats in front of her. Irvin and Rico take them.  
  
“I’m sure you know why I’ve called you here.” She starts.  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“Afraid not.”  
  
“Only in how it will l-likely affect us.”  
  
...The woman slams her face into the desk and pops back up so quickly that the only evidence it happened was the bruise on her forehead and the slight crack in her glasses. Her fake smile was unwavering. =  
  
“Sorry, I’m under a little bit of stress right now.” She rises, and continues her monologue while looking out the window behind her. “You see, an important teacher of mine has recently come down with something. He’ll be out of commission for weeks, and without him a _certain_ group of idiots is bound to fail their midterms. And if those _wastes of space_ fail their midterms, then this school’s funding is going to take a hit.”  
  
Irvin and Rico glance at each other, and begin whispering behind the principal’s back.  
  
“Hey, is she a bad guy?” Rico asks. “She’s saying mean things about children. That’s a classic bad guy trope.”  
  
“But she _is_ t-trying to keep the school funded. That’s not exactly a v-villainous scheme.” Irvin says.  
  
“Maybe this is secretly an evil school, where children are taught to be bad and they only serve gross vegetarian lunches?”  
  
The principal turns back to them, so they act natural and feign innocence. She gives them a suspicious look, before continuing her spiel.  
  
“I’m in a bit of a pickle. And since two of you are passengers, and I have the only key to the exit, I think you guys ought to help me.”  
  
“Question.” Princess says, raising a small hand. “While your dilemma is quite sympathetic, is there a system in place to stop us from simply taking the key and leaving? Not to imply that we would of course.” She gives an overly innocent smile at the end.  
  
The Principal walks back over to her desk, reaches under it, and pulls out a wooden ruler. She slaps it against her hand a few times, before hurling it straight into the wall behind them with enough force to get it stuck inside. The sound of the impact causes everyone to jump.  
  
“Ah... Duly noted.” Princess nervously remarks before ducking down to the very bottom of Irvin’s pocket.  
  
With that obvious threat made, she sits back down and looks them over. “So. What are your credentials?”  
  
“Er… W-Well I w-went to c-college?” Irvin says. That gets a smile out of her.  
  
“Great-” she pauses as a look of suspicion crosses her face. “Wait, what did you major in?”  
  
“M-M-Mathematics.”  
  
She claps her hands together and starts digging through some records. “Perfect! Math has been the subject this class needed the most help with. If we could just get them all to a B- average in that, we’d actually be doing better than usual. Pull that off, and the key’s yours.”  
  
She peeks up at Rico and pauses. “Hm… You look like you’re about the age of the students here. Any chance you’re a prodigy?”  
  
Rico stands up and strikes a pose. “Not just a prodigy, I’m a hero!”  
  
Unfazed by his childhood fantasies, she continues. “Right, but how well do you do in school?”  
  
“Oh.” That takes the wind out of his sails. “Well obviously I ace all of my classes! Just like any good hero would.”  
  
“Hm…” She thinks for a minute, before pulling a piece of paper out from one of her drawers. “Alright then. Congratulations! You’re a student here now.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“S-She wants you to take the t-test to bump up the class average.” Irvin explains.  
  
He nods in understanding. “An easy task for a he-”  
  
“That’s a yes then, great.” The principal cuts him off. She starts filling Irvin’s hands with papers. “Lesson plan, seating arrangements, previous homework, textbooks, more textbooks…” She stops once the pile in his hands went high enough to totally block out his face. “Anything else you’ll need.”  
  
“A t-t-t-truck to c-c-carry all of th-this!” He says before falling backwards.  
  
…  
  
The load was easier to bear once Rico took part of the stack. Together they followed the principal’s directions to classroom 104, where Irvin’s pupils/Rico’s classmates should be waiting.  
  
Beyond the door was… a totally normal classroom. Only 8 other kids in there, and fewer desks than Irvin expected with the amount of students he’d seen in the halls earlier. Before he could even start addressing them however, he really needed to drop the mountain of papers before he fell over again.  
  
As he’s setting the stack on his desk, a girl stands up and asks, “Are you our substitute?”  
  
One of the boys beats him to answering. “They have to be. They’re passengers, that’s how it works.”  
  
“Er, that’s c-correct.” Irvin finally speaks up. “My name is Irvin Kemp, and I-I will be teaching you for the next few days. And th-this is R-”  
  
“Power Boy!”  
  
“P-Power Boy. He’s going to be a part of your class until after your next test.”  
  
A different boy scoffs, kicking his legs up on his desk. “So he’s here to make our class average look better? That’s pretty much admitting that you won’t be able to help us, isn’t it?”  
  
“W-Well, that’s…” It was almost exactly like that, so Irvin didn’t really have a good way to respond.  
  
“Great, so they’re just here to get their key and exit like the rest.” Another boy huffs. “That’s fine. We don’t need useless teachers anyways.”  
  
Everyone starts talking at once, as whatever authority Irvin’s position may have earned him is completely ignored.  
  
“Hey, since this class doesn’t actually matter, can I go to sleep?”  
  
“If I fail another test I’ll have to repeat the grade!”  
  
“Are you gonna show us how to cheat like the last sub? I already know how to, so can I play outside until after class?”  
  
“H-Hey, I’m n-not going to- um…” There was too much being said, Irvin didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, Princess jumps onto the desk and takes control of the situation.  
  
“May I have you attention?” She asks. Despite not speaking very loudly, she seemed to command the kids’ authority much more efficiently than Irvin. The room quiets down, all eyes focusing on Princess.  
  
“It’s true, your principal thinks very little of your ability to perform well on this test. Power Boy’s inclusion was just as you guessed, a way to bring up your score. However, even if _she_ doesn’t believe in you, _we_ think each and everyone of you is capable of doing far beyond her expectations.”  
  
...Irvin blinks. “Um… w-what she said…”  
  
Some of the kids seem pleased at Princess’ speech, but most still looked skeptical. The first boy who’d called them out before scoffs. “Talk all you want, I’m not buying it.”  
  
“W-Well…” Irvin digs through the pile of papers, eventually pulling out a few. After making sure he had enough, he starts passing them out to everyone. “Let’s start with a q-quiz to c-check where you’re at. Try to c-complete as many problems as you c-can, and after thirty m-minutes I’ll t-take questions.”  
  
There was an empty ninth desk in the back, so Irvin sets a sheet of paper for Rico. “Since you’re a s-student here too now, you should t-take it too Ri- uh- P-Power Boy.”  
  
Rico takes a pencil off Irvin’s desk and confidently struts to his seat. As he does, Irvin explains a bit more about the quiz they’re taking. “According t-to the planner, this s-should encapsulate everything they’ll c-cover on the math portion of your tests. If you c-can get an A here, you should be able to get an A on that.”  
  
With that last instruction, the class begins. Nobody spoke, letting the room fill with the sounds of pencils on paper. Since he had time, Irvin sat down and started sorting out all of the papers he’d been given.

...  
  
Thirty minutes pass quickly. Irvin had just managed to get his pile sorted out when it was time for questions. As soon as Irvin stood up to announce that fact, multiple hands shot up at once.  
  
“I don’t get question 2.”  
  
“Question 4 doesn’t make sense.”  
  
“I know how to convert the decimal into a fraction in Question 8, but how do you multiply them?”  
  
For every question, it seemed at least one of them needed help. A few of the kids that didn’t trust them had stayed silent, but he assumed they were having just as much trouble as the rest. Power Boy also hadn’t put his hand up, which drew a small smile from Irvin. It was one less student he’d have to worry about.  
  
That joy was lessened by the majority of the class struggling, but one problem at a time.  
  
“A-Alright, l-let’s just take this in order…” Irvin goes up to the chalkboard and starts writing. “Um q-question one. Did anyone have trouble with that one?”  
  
One of the girls stands up with her hand raised. “I don’t really understand how we’re supposed to find out how many times 25 goes into 4,000. We never went over times tables for numbers that high.”  
  
“O-Oh, long d-division?” Irvin writes down the problem. “That’s actually r-really easy. You j-just…”  
  
He pauses. The answer was obviously 160, but he needed to explain it in a way that would make sense to a nine year-old. Not to mention one that was clearly a little behind, if they were bringing up multiplication tables still…  
  
“Um… Oh! It helps if you think of it like this.” Irvin writes out a normal division problem, but then takes the right side of the border between the dividend and the divisor and drags it down a few inches lower than the number. The class stares in confusion at what he was up to.

He points to the girl. “You, uh… Sorry, I don’t really know any of your names.”  
  
“Kelsey.” She says with a bright smile.  
  
“K-Kelsey, thank you. Can you give me the h-highest multiple of 25 lower than 4000 that you know? One that e-ends in a 0 preferably.”  
  
She thinks for a minute. “Well, if you multiply it by 100 then you’d get 2500, right?”  
  
As she says that, he writes 100 to the right of the 4000. Irvin then subtracts 2500 from it and writes 1500 below. “Okay, now can you give me one smaller than 1500?”  
  
“Er… 25 times 10 would just be 250, right?” She suggests.  
  
“That would work, b-but let’s aim higher. What’s 25 times 4?”  
  
“100- Ah! I get it. Then 25 time 40 is 1000.”  
  
He repeats his process, leaving the number at 500. He doesn’t even have to ask before Kelsey throws out “500 is the same as 25 times 20.”  
  
Irvin smiles, subtracting the 500 down to 0 and resolving the problem. He taps the board on the column of 100, 40, and 20. “If you add all of these together, what do you get?”  
  
“160!” A different student throws out before she can even answer. Irvin takes the response and writes 160 above the dividend, circling it.  
  
“Then th-that’s the quotient. If you d-do it like this, then you can solve the problem through addition and subtraction. I-It takes a bit longer, but it’s better for beginners. You can use this same process f-for question 7.”  
  
Kelsey’s face lights up. “I get it now! Thank you!” She sits back down enthusiastically, Filling in an answer for the problem which had thwarted her minutes ago.  
  
With one happy customer, a boy who hadn’t spoken all day speaks up next. “H-Hey, are you doing problem 2 next, because I could use some help adding fractions.”  
  
One of the other girls puts her hand up next. “That one was stumping me too actually. How do you put one fourth and eight fifths together when the bottom numbers are different?”  
  
The questions keep coming, and Irvin is able to answer almost all of them without difficulty. A few areas were harder to explain than others, but by the end Irvin felt that he’d gotten through to all of them to some degree.  
  
Even the kids that didn’t have any faith in him at all had asked for clarification during his instructions. Irvin was more than happy to answer whatever they asked.  
  
That wouldn’t be the end of it of course. Experience taught him that the things he taught would be forgotten quickly if not strengthened by homework and reminders over the course of the remaining week. Not to mention, this was only math. There were still other subjects they needed to go over, such as English and Science. Still, if his instructions could improve each of their scores by at least 10 points on just math, without any major drops in other subjects, then he’d definitely meet the conditions needed to get an exit.  
  
As the bell rang, Irvin set down his chalk. “That should b-be… lunch! I’ll look over your completed quizzes while you’re gone, and we can go over any mistakes you still have in tomorrow’s math block.”  
  
As the small crowd of kids exit, a small pile of papers forms on his desk. He gets a few thanks from the students, but soon enough it’s just him and the papers left for grading.  
  
“Impressive.” Princess comments from his pocket. He’d almost forgotten about her.  
  
“Yeah, C-Caleb really picked up on these fractions q-quickly.” Irvin notes as he continues down the page.  
  
“I’m referring to your lesson.” She says, jumping onto the desk. “Despite having almost no time to prepare, it seemed like you actually managed to teach them something. And, dare I say it, you even seemed _confident_ while you did so.”  
  
“Bite your t-tongue, I would never.” He jokes. “Confidence is my w-white whale, and I g-gave up the hunt a long time ago.”  
  
They share a chuckle, as Princess continues. “I suppose for someone with a degree in the subject, teaching something at this level must be child’s play. Pun unintended.”  
  
“D-Degree?” Irvin gives her a confused look. She returns the confusion.  
  
“Earlier, you said you were a mathematics major. Remember?”  
  
“Ah.” He puts down his pen and stops grading the test. “W-Well yeah, but I… never actually graduated…”  
  
Princess corks her head to the side. “You were still attending when the train picked you up?”  
  
“Well, no. I actually... dropped out.”  
  
“You dropped out? Why? Did you realize you hated math once you got to the higher levels of it?”  
  
For probably the first time since they’d met, Princess watches Irvin take on a wistful expression. “N-No, I like math. R-Really, working through equations and s-solving problems? It’s great… I just-” With a sigh, he slumps down into his seat. “I suck.”  
  
“Ah, here we go.” Princess says, as she lies down and gets comfortable.  
  
“I-I don’t mean it like I d-don’t matter, even though I… Er- I mean- I suck at college.”  
  
“You’ll have to elaborate. I’ve never actually gone, as you might have guessed.”  
  
“It’s like…” He kicks back in his seat, staring up at the ceiling. “I u-understood what they were t-teaching. It wasn’t always easy, but I’d do really well on the homework! I j-just couldn’t apply it. It was those awful t-tests… I always got so anxious, s-so when it was time to take them I would just… bomb. Y-You had to get a certain score on the f-finals to pass, so I wound up failing two classes in my second semester.”  
  
“Oh dear. Couldn’t you retake them?” She asks  
  
He rubs his arm. “I th-thought about it, but I didn’t really have any reason to think I’d do any better the next time. So... I-I decided it wasn’t worth going through it all again just to f-fail.”  
  
Princess looks at him with genuine sympathy. She hesitates to respond, digging deep to try and find a half-decent reply. “So… Why math? As a major, I mean.”  
  
“Why not?” Irvin shrugs.  
  
“No no no, you had the choice to pick whatever subject you wanted, right? Why math of all things? Did you want to be a teacher by any chance?”  
  
He just stares at her like she’s an idiot. “Princess, I already t-told you I suck with kids.”  
  
“Well, you could have fooled me with how you performed today.”  
  
With his round face and the way his cheeks turned red, Irvin was starting to resemble a tomato. He quickly shakes his head. “N-No… I w-wanted to be a cryptographer.”  
  
She just stares at him like he’d suddenly started speaking Spanish.  
  
“Er, it’s someone who writes or w-works on computer algorithms that encrypt d-data. I a-always thought that kind of stuff was cool, so I w-wanted to work on it.” A small smile makes its way to his face, as he reminisces. “I remember not b-being sure what I wanted t-to do at first, there w-were so many things to choose from. B-But back home I liked t-to write small programs on my family’s PC, and the one I s-spent the most time on was a b-basic encryption program. The key was r-really easy to crack, b-but I was so proud when it finally worked...”  
  
As he recounts his memories, he freezes. The sound of his number changing catches his attention, so he peeks at his hand to see where the digits land.  
  
 _689_  
  
Although the substantial drop would be seen as a positive to some, Irvin gives his hand a gloomy look. He sighs. “...I guess it d-doesn’t really matter now. It was j-just something I was interested in for a while. Sorry for boring you with that...”  
  
His numbers start moving again as he tries to get back to grading. Before he can, Princess grabs him by the hand.  
  
“Take that back.” She says.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Her eyes glare straight through Irvin, sending shivers down his spine. “You said it doesn’t matter, just because you couldn’t do it. I want you to take it back.”  
  
He looks away, intimidated by her intense expression. “W-Why?”  
  
“Because if you don’t, then I’ll have to take it as an insult to the _many_ unachievable dreams of my own. Like opening doors without help, or finding my perfect train car, or even just being able to reach something from the top shelf without climbing _onto_ the top shelf.”  
  
Her grip tightens around his fingers. “I know they’re impossible, but I think our desires are an important part of who we are. Even the completely unachievable ones. My dreams matter, so yours probably do too.”  
  
The glowing light from his palm stops flickering with motion. She lets go of his hand to let him look at where it landed.  
  
 _677_  
  
“...And it looks like you agree.” She smiles. “I’ll count that as your retraction.”’  
  
Irvin stares at the number, a smile slowly forming. “...I think I’m s-starting to understand how th-this thing works.” It’s short-lived, the smile fading as he thinks on his number further, but it was a nice moment while it lasted.  
  
With that, he continues his grading. Soon enough, 8 completed quizzes sit on his desk, ready to be handed back out to the students when class resumed.  
  
One small problem. He only had _8_ pages.  
  
“I d-don’t have Rico’s. Did he f-forget to turn it in?” Irvin mutters to himself, checking around to make sure it hadn’t fallen.  
  
Princess rubs her head. “Now that you mention it… No, I don’t remember him coming over here after the bell rang at all.”  
  
Irvin extends a hand, which Princess climbs onto. He tucks her back into his pocket, and walks out the door. “I’ll go c-collect it now, before he loses it or something. N-Not like he has a backpack or locker to t-toss it in.”  
  
…  
  
He scans the lunchroom, but doesn’t see any sign of the hero at all. It would have been impossible to miss him, considering the appearances of the denizens. He does spot a few of the kids from his class sitting near the entrance though, so he walks up to ask them about it.  
  
“E-Excuse me, K-Kelsey?” He calls out. She turns around to look at him, so he quickly blurts out his question. “Have you seen R-R-Rico- I mean- P-Power Boy anywhere?”  
  
She thinks for a moment before her eyes light up. “Oh! He asked me where the library was and then left after he finished eating. Maybe you could check there?”  
  
“Th-Thanks.” Irvin turns around to leave, before quickly turning right back.  
  
“So… Where _is_ the library?” He asks.  
  
…  
  
Irvin steps inside, noting the familiar quiet atmosphere shared by all libraries. That and the shelves of book confirmed that he was in the right place. As he strolled down the halls however, he didn’t notice any signs of the young superhero.  
  
After checking each row of shelves and each table, he finally walks up to the librarian to ask about him. “H-Hi. Have you s-seen a kid w-wearing a mask and boxer shorts?”  
  
The librarian strokes his chin for a moment, before nodding.  
  
“Great.” Irvin waits for further explanation, but realizes quickly that none was coming. “...Where is he now?”  
  
He strokes his chin again, clearly deep in thought. He points to the nearby window, where some children could be seen playing outside.  
  
…  
  
It wasn’t hard to find him once they made it outside. He was the only kid not actively playing or talking with friends. And also the only normal-looking human.  
  
Sitting underneath a tree, flipping through pages of a large book and writing things down, was the hero they’d been searching for. Irvin lets out a sigh of relief when he spots him.  
  
“Hey! Power Boy!” He calls out, waving from a distance. Rico visibly flinches, before looking away like he hadn’t just heard him. When Irvin starts to approach, he quickly picks up his things, and runs past them to get inside.  
  
“Wow.” Princess says. “I didn’t realize the cold shoulder was one of his powers.”  
  
“Is… he a-avoiding us?” Irvin asks, despite the answer being obvious.  
  
“Seems like it. We should probably follow him before whatever is bothering him has time to fester.” She suggests, rapping her hand against Irvin’s chest to prompt him into action.  
  
Despite giving Rico the lead, Irvin has the advantage of _adult-sized legs._ He’s able to make up the distance quickly. Inside the school building, Rico fast-walks through the halls (as running would be against the rules), and sees Irvin hot on his tracks.  
  
He eyes the rooms around him, and ducks into a nearby bathroom to try and lose him.  
  
“S-Stay down while we’re in here.” Irvin whispers to his _female_ acquaintance, as he nudges her lower into his pocket.  
  
There’s no sign of the boy inside. Not even feet dangling underneath the stall gaps, it was like he’d vanished. Unfortunately for Rico, this was a trick Irvin was well-familiar with.  
  
He walks over to the stalls, and presses an ear against the closest one. Sure enough, he hears muffled breathing on the other side. Slowly, he knocks on it.  
  
“...Occupied.” Rico responds.  
  
“Rico, w-what’s going on?” Irvin asks plainly. “Is something wrong?”  
  
“Everything is fine.” He says from inside the stall. “Sorry I forgot to turn in my quiz, I’ll give it to you after lunch.”  
  
Something flickers in Irvin’s eyes, as a realization sets in. “A-Actually, since I’m right here, I c-can take it now.”  
  
“I-I can’t hand it over, I’m in the bathroom right now!”  
  
Irvin doesn’t hesitate, putting genuine authority into his voice. “So am I. L-Let me see your quiz.”  
  
There’s no response. As Irvin is considering whether or not he’d gone too far however, the door unlocks. Staring down at the floor guiltily, Rico pushes open the door and shoves the piece of paper into Irvin’s hands.  
  
As he inspects it, Irvin’s suspicions were confirmed. After the first two questions (which bore many eraser marks as it was), the page was empty.  
  
“You’re… n-not great at math. Are you?” Irvin asks.  
  
“...” He sniffles. “...N-No…”  
  
That sniffle sent alarms all through Irvin’s head, as he quickly tried to backtrack on his authoritative tone. “H-H-Hey, it’s n-no big deal! L-Lots of people aren’t g-good at math! D-Don’t cry, it’s f-fine, please don’t cry.”  
  
Rico maintains enough composure to not break down into sobs. Small lines of tears still roll down his cheeks. “D-Don’t tell my mom… I-I r-really tried, but even when you t-tried explaining it the numbers were confusing.”  
  
“I-It’s okay…” He wasn’t sure what to do, so Irvin just awkwardly patted Rico’s head. It felt stiff and robotic.  
  
“I… I haven’t been doing well this year.” He finally admits, picking up the book he’d had on him and gives it to Irvin. On close examination, it was obviously a math textbook. “I really have been trying! I promise! But… I’m failing in Math. And I don’t have As in my other subjects… I have Cs.”  
  
Irvin sets the book down on the ground. In a rare flash of emotional insight, he wraps his arms around Rico and pulls him in for a hug.  
  
“...I’m sorry. I just wanted to help with the car’s puzzle. But...” he motions to the quiz paper, “math is my kryptonite.”  
  
“It’s okay…” Irvin assures, holding him close. “Listen, d-do you want to know who the s-smartest person I know is?”  
  
Rico gives him a strange look, not sure where Irvin was going with it. “Who?”  
  
“My sister, Eliza. She was t-top of the class back when we w-were in school together. But s-she wasn’t a genius. Actually, she w-was pretty b-bad at most subjects.”  
  
He takes the textbook, and holds it out to Rico. “She only m-made it to the top because she was d-determined to do that well. She s-studied harder than any other k-kid in school, and she wasn’t a-afraid to ask for help when she needed it.”  
  
That last part gets Rico’s full attention, so Irvin goes on. “She w-wouldn’t have done as well as she had if she wasn’t w-willing to ask others for help… So, I d-don’t think _heroes_ are exempt f-from that. If th-this stuff doesn’t click for you, then y-you should get a tutor.”  
  
Rico takes the textbook back and stares at it. “...What about this car though?”  
  
Irvin shrugs. “I-I can try to teach you enough to pass, b-but if you want to drop out of the class then I d-don’t think the principal will mind. She’s k-kind of more focused on the class’ performance than a-actually teaching kids.”  
  
He hesitates, but after a moment he hugs the book tightly. “No. I… I want to take the test! I promise I’ll do my best!’  
  
They both freeze, as a distinctive sound fills the air. Rico checks his palm, and sure enough:  
  
 _23_  
  
“Whoa! Look!” Rico holds it up proudly. “Twenty-o-” He freezes, clearly recounting the difference on his fingers. “Nineteen points! It went down by nineteen all at once! I’m so much closer to home, I can feel it!”  
  
Irvin couldn’t help but smile along with him. Rico’s joy was infectious, and seemed to cut through the gloom of their original conversation. Suddenly, it felt like overcoming that upcoming test would be more than possible.  
  
…  
  
The days that followed were painful, filled with seemingly unending study in various subjects.  
  
Irvin’s specialty was math, but he had more than enough of an education to teach lower leveled English and Science. History was a bit more troublesome, since it was mostly just memorization of important dates/events, but the study guide provided all the information the class would need to pass their tests.  
  
The students studied hard, and when they got lost Irvin did his best to get them back on track. Of the regular students however, none of them could come close to the amount of time and effort Rico was putting into learning the material that would be on the test.  
  
Of course, as Rico’s self-assigned tutor, that meant Irvin had to work just as hard to help him learn it. Paired with his lessons and personal instructions for the other students, and Irvin passed out at his desk after the kids were taken away by a different teacher for their tests.  
  
When he awoke, it was because of something being shoved into his face. It took him a bit for his eyes to adjust, but eventually he could make it out.  
  
“I passed!” Rico announces with glee as he forces Irvin to view his report card. “I only got a 76 on the math part, and I mixed up two of the big history events’ dates and got a B when I totally should have had an A there, but I got 90s of everything else! Look!”  
  
“That’s… *yawn* g-great…” Irvin gives a sleepy thumbs up, before faceplanting back into his desk. He was tired enough that the impact didn’t even wake him.  
  
Rico huffs. “You’re going to sleep now? But we can finally leave. The principal gave me the key already.”  
  
Princess crawls out of his pocket, and jumps to Rico’s hat. “Give your poor teacher a break. He’s earned it.”  
  
“Fiiiiiine.” He crosses his arms in mock frustration. “Jeez, adults these days are getting lazier and lazier.”  
  
Irvin mumbles to himself in his sleep. A dopey smile crosses his face, as his mind rewards his struggles with pleasant and restful dreams. After everything this car had put him through, he’d earned it.


	4. The Hall of Mirrors Car

Irvin stares at the sky above, holding a hand up to block the sun from his eyes. The number on his palm stares back at him, stealing all of his attention.  
  
 _629_  
  
The week-long trial in the Grade School Car had caused his number to fall quite a bit. After multiple cars of no changes, it had gone down by over a hundred points in a single car. If Rico’s had gone down at a similar rate, he would be off the train already.  
  
Unfortunately, after the drop down to 23, the most Rico’s number had changed was a single point drop after the test. And while 22 is better, it wasn’t enough to take him home.  
  
It was really unfair that Irvin’s number went down so much while the kid who had a whole life ahead of him had to settle for lower and less frequent drops. At least he finally had a good idea of why this was happening. Their numbers seemed to only change when they made progress on working through their problems. Moments of introspection or self-reflection, overcoming hardship, taking positive steps to improve yourself, those were what seemed to lead towards their numbers going down.  
  
The fact that his number was dropping that much faster was just proof that Irvin had so many more things wrong with him. He could barely walk two steps without having to face his inner demons.  
  
Rico’s problems were less overwhelming, hence the smaller number. But that also meant it would take more specific prodding to bring them out in the open.  
  
With Rico at 22 now, Irvin was sure he’d find his way out soon enough. It wasn’t the kid’s number that was plaguing his mind at that moment, but his own.  
  
If his own number kept going down… he would eventually leave.  
  
“Heeeeeey! How long are you gonna tan for?” Rico calls from the water. Irvin sits up to look at him.  
  
“I-It’s not tanning, I used p-plenty of sunblock.” He calls back. “I’m j-just relaxing.”  
  
“From what I’ve heard, you’re actually supposed to wear sunblock when tanning.” Princess informs Rico from her small pool toy raft. She enjoyed the cool temperature of the water, but found the prospect of swimming in such a large amount a bit frightening. “You risk melanoma if you go without.”  
  
“Mela… Melonomom?”  
  
“Cancer, dear.”  
  
“Ohhh. The one disease even heroes can’t beat… Except Dr. Strange that one time.”  
  
Irvin watches from the beach as Rico excitedly regales Princess with stories of comic book heroes, as the pink mouse casually listens. She was patient, even as Rico went on tangents that she had no chance of following, occasionally asking small questions to show she was paying attention. He smiles happily at the pair.  
  
When he checks his phone screen and sees the time, he rises to his feet. “Hey! It’s time to go.”  
  
“Awwww, ten more minutes?” Rico pleads. Irvin sticks out a fist with a sideways thumb, holds it for just a moment to build suspense, and finally twists it to a thumbs down.  
  
“Sorry, b-but we need to get a move on.” He calls out, as he starts packing up their things.  
  
Rico grumbles a bit, but doesn’t raise further complaints. He starts swimming back, causing small waves that cause Princess’ raft to wobble unsteadily. She tries to row herself back, but her small limbs can’t generate enough force to beat the tide.  
  
“Er, I could use a hero?” She calls out. Rico stops and turns back.  
  
“Sorry Princess. Here, let’s just…” Tenderly, he picks up Princess’ whole raft as he swims back toward the shore.

Instead of thanking him, she lets out a quiet sigh and sinks down into the raft.

…  
  
Rico is still drying off his hair as they leave the car. His fear of heights hadn’t gone away, but repeated crossings had made it easier for him. Now he could settle for keeping a tight hold of the guardrails instead of Irvin while they’re crossing. “What do you think the next one will be?”  
  
“There’s r-really no way of knowing. It c-could really be anything.” Irvin says.  
  
“Yeah, but what do you _think_ it’ll be?”  
  
He thinks for a minute. “Maybe… middle s-school this time?”  
  
Rico physically recoils at that. “Nooooo! No more school cars, never again! If the next car is school related now it’s your fault.”  
  
When they reach the other side, he puts his hat and cape back on (the mask stayed on even while swimming). Princess, who’d been lying on his head, pokes her own head out the cap’s brim.  
  
“Princess, save us from Irvin’s horrible prediction with a better one!”  
  
She laughs softly before suggesting “How about a mall car?”  
  
“No! The only thing worse than a school! The _mall._ ” He wipes an invisible tear from his cheek. “I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by my only two friends on this train.”  
  
“He’s right P-Princess, the mall is t-terrible.” Irvin says. “It c-combines some of the worst things in the world. Shopping, c-crowds, and terrible p-parking.”  
  
“Plus, you can never leave.” Rico points out. “Mom took me to get shoes there once, and we were there for _4 hours!_ I nearly died! But we got burgers and milkshakes on the way home, so it was almost worth it.”  
  
As they reach the other side, Irvin turns the handle and pushes open the door. All the talk of what could possibly be behind it had gotten him interested too.  
  
Behind it was a small room surrounded by black curtains. A metal man sits in front of a podium throwing a straw hat on his head and waving them over.  
  
“Step right up! We’ve got some exciting sights here in Metal Michael’s Hall of Many Mind-melting Mirrors! Admission is free to any who dare step inside.”  
  
He pulls out a cane and nudges the curtain behind him with it, teasingly giving slight glimpses of the interior.  
  
“Uh… I-Is it safe?” Irvin asks.  
  
“Safe? _Safe!?_ Why my good man I assure you that not only is this attraction safe, but that it isn’t unsafe either! _Presuming all entrants keep their hands away from reflective surfaces at all times._ ”  
  
“Wait what was that l-last part?”  
  
“Perfectly safe!” He insists.  
  
Irvin gives him a suspicious look, before turning to the others. “L-Let’s find the exit d-door quickly, and get out as soon as we can. Don’t t-touch the mirrors.”  
  
“Right!” Rico exclaims. Princess gives a thumbs up.  
  
“Wonderful! Three whole guests, what fun you’ll have! Perfectly safe fun!”  
  
He shoots Michael a flat look, causing beads of sweat to build up on his brow. With a small cough, he pulls back the curtain and lets the group inside.  
  
Behind the door was, sure enough, a room filled with mirrors of different shapes and sizes. The reflections shown in them are distorted. Despite the concerning introduction, it looked just like any other house of mirrors Irvin had ever been in. That calms his nerves a little, but he keeps his guard up.  
  
His companions drop theirs immediately, being taken in by the sights.  
  
“Hey Irvin, look! This one makes me look fat.” Rico says, pointing at the mirror in question.  
  
Princess wasn’t being carried by either of them, having gotten off Rico to examine some of the mirrors closer to the ground. “My my, this one is having an… _interesting_ effect on my head.” She says, looking into one that reflected her head as massive compared to her body. “How unflattering.” Honestly, Irvin was just surprised that they even had mirrors for denizens her size here.  
  
“It’s b-because of how the mirrors are shaped.” Irvin explains. “By p-pushing parts of the g-glass forward, back, or leaning them in different ways, you get d-different effects.” The mirror in front of him made him look a lot scrawnier than he really was, a nice opposite to the one Rico was examining.  
  
“Is that how these work?” Rico asks. “I just thought they used, like, special paint on the glass that made them reflect differently.”  
  
They continue walking along, stopping in front of a few mirrors that have particularly interesting reflections. As they turn a corner however, Rico suddenly shouts.  
  
“Whoa! How do they do that!?”  
  
Irvin turns to see what he means, and is left with his jaw on the floor at the sight. In front of a normal looking mirror, Rico stood in front of a reflection of a much more muscular man than him. It wasn’t like the other illusions, this wasn’t Rico’s reflection being stretched across an oddly shaped surface. The mirror figure looked far too _real._  
  
The reflection _did_ bear similarities to Rico however. Despite being a muscular adult, it was still a man dressed as a hero. The costume looked more professional, but it still clearly evoked the image of Power Boy. So no matter how weird it was, this mirror had to be reflecting Rico somehow.  
  
“I… I don’t know.” Irvin mutters, moving closer to take a better look. “This d-doesn’t make any…” As he gets nearer, he spots a plaque underneath.  
  
 _\--Mirror of Idealism: Reflects a projection of what the viewer wants to be.--_  
  
 _\--!!!Warning: Do not touch!!!--_  
  
Rico flexes at his reflection while Irvin reads. “Man, if I looked like that they’d have to call me Power _Guy._ ”  
  
“What… This- It’s t-train physics, I know I shouldn’t question i-it, but how…”  
  
“Don’t worry about it, it’s cool! That’s all that matters.” He insists, punctuating his assurance with a flex. As he admires his reflected self, he notices something else in the mirror behind it. He moves aside to see it better, but the sight leaves him scratching his head. “Hey, Irvin, who’s that?”  
  
“Huh?” He looks back at Rico, confused. Rico just points ahead at the mirror where three figures were standing. Reflections of everyone present.  
  
It was obvious which one Rico was talking about with how much it stood out. They both look back at Princess, who was walking toward the front of the mirror to get a better view of what they were staring at. The contrast between the real and reflected was even more dramatic than it had been with Rico.  
  
Her reflection was almost entirely human, but with a few of her mouse-traits still present. Her reflection wore a fancy looking gown and was very conventionally attractive. Not to mention tall, having a foot on Irvin in height.  
  
Princess was completely transfixed by the reflection once she saw it, unable to look away. “It’s… me.”  
  
“Y-You look really g-good as a human.” Irvin compliments, unsure of what else to say.  
  
“I do…” She mutters, getting lost in the sight of herself. Unconsciously, she moves closer to the mirror, lost in her appearance. Closer and closer she went, paying no mind to their prior warnings.  
  
It was Rico who finally noticed, just too late to prevent what followed. “Hey! Princess wait, you’re about to-”  
  
With an outstretched arm, Princess leaned forward to touch the image in front of her.

The moment her hand makes contact with the glass, it sucks her in. As she falls forward into the mirror, the reflection falls right out in front of Irvin and Rico. It happened so fast, it was like their rodent friend had vanished.  
  
“Wh- P-P-Prin- Huh!?” Irvin takes a step back, too stunned to form a coherent thought.  
  
The woman looks down at herself, examining her hands and squeezing them to feel the sensation running through them. A chuckle brewed in the back of her throat, eventually growing to a near cackle.  
  
“Oh, now _this~_ is more like it!” She says, cradling herself. “Look at me Irvin! Do you like what you see?”  
  
“P-Princess?” Irvin asks.  
  
“Now, who else would I be?” She replies enigmaticly. Her curiosity made it impossible for her to not touch every part of herself, as if transfixed by her own existence. She inspects herself in a different mirror, one without any gimmicks. “Not bad… Not bad at all.”  
  
Rico grabs her tightly by the hand, stealing her attention. “What did you do to our Princess!?”  
  
He’s just a child, so it’s easy for her to break from his grasp. She crouches down to speak to him face to face. “ _I_ did nothing. _I_ touched the glass, and I came out like this~. That’s all.”  
  
“Y-You... Wait, then w-w-where…?”  
  
Irvin flips back toward the mirror, but doesn’t see any sign of their mouse friend in it. All that was there was his own reflection, which he made a point of ignoring. It wasn’t even close to the most pressing thing, and he didn’t want to see what the train thought he most desired to see.  
  
Rico drags the human-Princess by the hand towards the mirror. Just as they suspects, reflecting her is the mouse-Princess.  
  
Their friend behind the glass makes no attempt to break free. All she does is mimic the human-Princess’ actions.  
  
Said human takes her hand back and gives the pair a glare. “Rude. Don’t you two have _any_ idea how to treat a lady?”  
  
“...Who are you?” Irvin asks bluntly, staring at her with a mixture of suspicion and distress.  
  
“Come now, Irvin, I haven’t changed _that much_ , have I? It’s still me inside.” She replies, wrapping an arm around his waist and squeezing him into a side-hug. Her eyes move toward the young hero, staring at her uncertainly. “And of course I remember you too, Power Boy.”  
  
“This…” Rico looks back and forth between the mirror and Princess. “Is… it really you?”  
  
She sighs. “You still don’t believe me? Then why not see for yourself?” She pulls Irvin closer toward the mirror, not quite touching it himself, but just enough that he could stare his own reflection in the face. His eyes widen, finally seeing what it was.  
  
As she leads his hand to the glass, Rico slaps it down.  
  
“W-Wait! Something doesn’t feel right about this.” He says, trying to push Irvin away from it.  
  
Princess picks him up and drags him away from the sadsack. “Don’t worry, this is all perfectly natural.” The assurance did not make anyone feel better.  
  
Like Princess before, Irvin was transfixed by his own reflection. “The me in th-there… he looks happy.”  
  
Human-Princess shrugs. “I guess your ideal self isn’t that far off from the current you, just a bit happier.” She leans in, whispering into his ear. “If you went through, you could feel that way too. Genuine happiness.”  
  
“I…” He stares longingly at it before looking away. “I-I don’t d-deserve that.”  
  
Like a serpent, she wrapped herself around him, forcing him to stare into her eyes. “Come on, what do you have to lose? You already said you had nothing left to live for, so why not spend the remainder of your meaningless existence _happy?_ ”  
  
“I-I… I…” Something felt wrong, but he could feel himself being taken in by her argument.  
  
Sensing his hesitation, she dealt the finishing blow. “...Wouldn’t your sister want you to be happy?”  
  
Irvin’s mind went blank. Only two thoughts rose above the numbness to reach him.  
  
It was a trap.  
  
He knew it was a trap. He knew she wasn’t telling him everything.  
  
But just as he knew it was a trap… he realized that everything else she said was true.  
  
What did he even have to lose at this point? For a guy like him with nothing going on in his life, happiness was the one thing he could ever hope for. He’d never get better, so the guilt and despair in his mind was useless. Why should he suffer? Why couldn’t he just… be happy?  
  
His hand reaches for the mirror, hesitantly at first, but soon decisively.  
  
The moment he touches it, his reflection exits at the same time as he enters. A person with much the same physical appearance, but one with a very different mood about him. The sad black tee and overalls were replaced with a polo and khakis. His mop of messy brown hair had been evenly trimmed and combed down. And the weary expression he often wore was replaced by a relaxed smile.  
  
“Oh… Oh wow.” Just like Princess before, he looks himself over.  
  
“Just like I told you, right?” Princess says, glancing back at Rico. The hero had taken a few steps back, watching from a distance in growing discomfort.  
  
Irvin runs his hands through his hair, smiling fondly as he reflects. “Y’know, looking back on all of my problems now, an attitude adjustment really would have solved more than half of them. Ah well, I can work on fixing them once I’m off this train.” Despite talking about leaving, his hand didn’t glow with a number. He didn’t seem to notice though, as he happily discussed the future with Princess.  
  
“Fine by me if you want to leave. It’s not like I’ll be trapped once you’re gone.” She says, wiggling her fingers.  
  
“Glad to hear it! I wouldn’t feel guilty for leaving, since it isn’t my responsibility to fix your problems, but I can still relish in the knowledge that you’ll be capable of pursuing happiness on your own without me.”  
  
As the two went back and forth about all the joys this change had brought them, Rico couldn’t help but think of them as completely different people. Everything about the scene in front of him was just… wrong.  
  
Suddenly, they turn their attention towards him. Princess smiles softly, while Irvin just watches her.  
  
“Is something wrong Power Boy? You seem scared.” Princess remarks, taking a step in his direction. Rico hastily takes a step back.  
  
“Y-Y-You…” Rico sputters, “You’re not P-Princess.”  
  
She frowns. “If you still don’t understand, then maybe-”  
  
“You’re right, Rico.” Irvin cuts in. Princess flips back around, glaring daggers at him.  
  
“Whoa, there’s no need to take your anger out on me. But there’s no reason to lie to Rico either, he doesn’t need to go through what we did.” He speaks casually as he walks towards Rico, the difference in tone getting the young hero to drop his guard.  
  
When he gets close, Irvin crouches right in front of him, getting down to his level. “I don’t know what exactly you’re picturing, but I’m not the same Irvin you knew. And she isn’t the same Princess you knew either. And I don’t just mean physically.” He taps his head to emphasize it. “We share their thoughts and feelings, but we’re more like clones than anything else. Just with different physical features.”  
  
“Then they’re-” Rico looks past them at the mirror. His fear begins to give way to anger as he stares, processing the fake Irvin’s words. “I want _my_ Irvin and Princess back! Go back in the mirror, and give me back my friends!”  
  
Irvin just shrugs. “ _Your_ Irvin made the conscious decision to let me out, knowing some of the risks involved. And _I_ don’t want to go back in personally, so this arrangement works well for both of us I think.”  
  
“Naturally, the same was true of _your_ Princess.” The woman explains, now taking Irvin’s lead. “She wanted to be me so badly that she was willing to settle for simply reflecting me, allowing me to live the life she could never have. Are you really going to deny her that?”  
  
“No, that’s…” Rico struggles for a minute, wracking his brain for an idea. “If that’s true... th-then I want to hear it from _my_ Irvin and Princess!”  
  
Her expression shifts for a moment, before she suppresses the emotion. “...Could you explain what you mean?”  
  
“I mean you two should go back through the mirror and let my Irvin and Princess say that this is what they wanted. If you’re telling the truth, and they’re okay with all this, then they’ll go right back. Won’t they?”  
  
“Ah… Th-Thats…” Princess’ guard had been broken.  
  
And once again, Irvin swoops in to reveal more than she would have liked to say. “If we did that, they probably _wouldn’t_ want to switch back.”  
  
“A-ha!” Rico points as though he’d just uncovered something, despite the reveal really coming from Irvin flat out telling him. “I knew it! You tricked them!”  
  
Irvin shakes his head. “Not really, I didn’t have the ability to explain the risks to the other Irvin before he made his choice, so he only acted on partial knowledge. He thought he would _become_ me, not that he would _reflect_ me.” He points back at the mirror, in which the other Irvin mirrored his acts. “He’s still himself, except now he’s trapped inside that mirror, having no free will of his own. That’s all.”  
  
“That’s all? How can you say that!?”  
  
“With a fair share of sympathy for his situation, but a healthy understanding that I have no obligation to sacrifice my own freedom and happiness for his sake given that I played no part in his current state of imprisonment.” He responds so quickly and concisely that Rico genuinely had no idea what to say in reply.  
  
Princess seizes the opportunity, and approaches Rico. “You know, your reflection hasn’t done anything wrong, but he’s trapped in there just like we were. Do you think _that’s_ fair? Do we deserve to be imprisoned even when we haven’t done anything wrong?”  
  
“I d-didn’t say that, I just meant…”  
  
She doesn’t let up, cutting in to ask, “Does _your_ Princess deserve to be out here more than me? Even though she’s the one who touched the mirror in the first place?”  
  
“W-Well, I… I don’t… know?”  
  
Shaking her head, she walks past him. “That half-baked idealism isn’t doing you any favors. It’s pointless to argue when you haven’t even resolved your own feelings. If you don’t mind, _I’m_ leaving, and I’d like it if you would both come with.”  
  
Before he can even collect himself, Irvin pats him on the back. “Sorry, but I’m with her on this. We’ve made our choices already. I still want to see your number hit zero though, so I’d really appreciate it if you’d stick with us. I did say we had all the thoughts and feelings of the people we reflected, and _your_ Irvin wants to see you get out.”  
  
“...” Rico just stares at the mirror, trying to rush his thoughts to a conclusion. The reflections were going to leave, he needed to resolve his feelings ASAP.  
  
They were right. They didn’t deserve to be trapped in the mirror. They weren’t evil, they were just unfortunate. But his Irvin and Princess didn’t deserve it either. So the solution should have just been to save both of them.  
  
But… That option didn’t exist. There was no way for all of them to exist outside of the mirror. Or, none that he knew of at least.  
  
What would Irvin and Princess… _his_ Irvin and Princess do if they were in his shoes?  
  
Well… Irvin was really smart, so he’d probably figure out a way for all of them to be happy. Or maybe he’d say something brilliant to make the right choice obvious. Then he’d probably say something about how anyone could have done what he did, because he was really humble, and Princess would tease him about it. But she would do it in a friendly way, because she cared about him, not a mean way.  
  
They were good people. So… they would have tried.  
  
But this Irvin, and this Princess… They hadn’t even made an effort to try and make things right. All they cared about was that _they_ didn’t want to be trapped. And they didn’t deserve to be! But neither did the Irvin and Princess he knew.  
  
“I…” Rico starts, the fire within him starting to re-ignite. The others stop, waiting to hear his conclusion.  
  
“I want my friends back!” He finally shouts, glaring at the reflections. “So get back in that mirror and let them out!”  
  
His sudden resolve had left the pair stunned… For about two seconds.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Sorry, but I’d really rather not.”  
  
He didn’t back down. “Too bad! If you aren’t willing to go in yourself, then I’ll-”  
  
“You’ll what?” Princess asks, chuckling to herself. “You’ll _make us?_ No offense, but unless you actually have super strength I don’t see that happening.”

He knew that she was right. Before he cursed his young age though, some recent advice he’d been given rose to the forefront of his mind.  
  
 _“She w-wouldn’t have done as well as she had if she wasn’t w-willing to ask for help… So, I d-don’t think heroes are exempt f-from that.”_  
  
Ask for help… That wasn’t a bad idea!  
  
“You’re right, I don’t have super strength... But _he_ does!”  
  
In a split second, Rico does a 180 and races toward the mirror behind him. Without hesitating at all, he jumps at it.  
  
This was supposed to be the Mirror of Idealism. Princess wanted to be a big independent human who could open doors by herself, so that’s what came out.  
  
Irvin wanted to be happy, so his reflection was a version of himself that was happy with his life.  
  
But Rico? He’d always known what the ideal version of himself was.  
  
“Save us **Power Guy!** ” He shouts, as he gets absorbed into the glass. At the same time, a muscular figure hits the ground in a traditional superhero landing.  
  
His mask covered his eyes, but a confident smile was beaming right below it. “What kind of hero would I be if I ignored the cries of a citizen in need?”  
  
Irvin and Princess take a few steps back each, feeling a genuine threat to their new existences for the first time since leaving the mirror. As the heroic figure rises to his full height, their concerns only magnifies.  
  
“I’m the superhero that everyone in the world counts on to save the day!” He declares, taking a step forward. “I’m the will of those you were willing to abandon, brought to life by the courage of Rico Ricardio. I’m the invincible **Power Guy!** And you two are going back in that mirror, whether you like it or not!”  
  
“No! I refuse to go back to that prison!” Princess shouts, turning and sprinting further down the hall.  
  
Irvin doesn’t retreat, but holds his hands up defensively. “H-Hey, come on now. That’s a b-bit unfair, don’t you think? We deserve a chance to live too-”  
  
The hero was behind him before he even realized it. With a single chop to the neck, Irvin was down for the count.  
  
The hero monologues. “The wish to live is not inherently evil. But the willingness to let other innocents face the existence you yourselves dreaded is where you crossed the line. Remember that.”  
  
With that, he turns his attention towards the second reflection. She’d made it out of sight, but with his speed he’d be able to find her quickly.  
  
At speeds equivalent to a speeding bullet, he dashes down the hall in the direction of the human Princess. Unfortunately, there was one trick remaining in this hall of mirrors that he hadn’t counted on.  
  
The mirror maze. Before Power Guy’s eyes were hundreds of Princesses, each indistinguishable from one another. Determining which were reflections and which was the real deal would be quite the challenge.  
  
“Hmph! I’ll be unlucky for centuries, but that’s a burden I’ll have to bear!” He shouts, before reeling back to take a swing.  
  
“Ah ah ah.” The Princesses scold, wagging their fingers en masse. “Destruction of property isn’t very heroic, now is it?”  
  
He freezes moments before hitting the mirror. Slowly he retracts his fist, acknowledging her point. Instead, he marches through the maze, carefully examining his surroundings in search of her.  
  
“You don’t have to do this.” She says, her reflections all moving, but not revealing her location. “The fact is, I’m everything Princess wanted to be. She’d be glad to know I exist.”  
  
Power Guy snorts. “Bold claim to make when you refuse to let us hear her opinion.” He catches a glimpse of the real her, and runs toward her location.  
  
“That’s because she’s biased. The moment she realizes _she_ isn’t the version of herself who gets to live this life, she changes her mind.” Princess shoots back. “I have all the memories that she does. By all accounts, I _am_ her, aren’t I?”  
  
The maze widens as he crosses into an intersection surrounded by a dome of mirrors. His path branched out in two possible directions. Luckily, he catches her reflection off a mirror down the right hall, and chases after it.  
  
“I came from that mirror too, you can’t fool me like that. The way we experience their memories isn’t the same, we aren’t them. As long as we’re reflecting them, we know their thoughts and emotions. You can’t claim to have lived her life when you only know the surface-level details.” He counters.  
  
He enters a more open space, with mirrors scattered all around with no rhyme or reason. In all of them, he faced the woman he was chasing after.  
  
“Then I should just accept the terrible hand fate handed me? Oh, _forgive me_ for having such selfish desires as wanting to live.”  
  
Power Guy leaps into the air, hovering above the scattered mirrors. The bird’s eye view lets him see everything in the area. As he scans the room for her, a shoe hits him in the back of the head. He turns around, just in time to see her run below him.  
  
With a quick adjustment he tries to land on top of her. In response, she kicks a mirror between them, causing him to crash through a wall of broken glass. It doesn’t hurt the impervious hero, but it’s enough of a distraction for Princess to get out of sight again.  
  
Realizing the chase wasn’t going to end so easily, he starts speeding up to check more paths at once. It doesn’t take long to catch a glimpse of her again. Seconds later, he makes it to the end of a hall, staring at her at the other end with her hands on the exit door. She looks back at him, as they both prepare their final arguments.  
  
Gripping the handle tightly, she makes one last plea. “That mouse thought she was trapped before, but she doesn’t know _anything_ about what that’s like. To have no will of your own, but a separate consciousness. You know what it’s like, I know you do. So why…? Why can’t you see it…?”

She glares at him. “My options are to lie down and let my existence end when they inevitably leave, or fight. If you say I shouldn’t fight, then you can ride that high horse all the way back to that mirror and go sacrifice yourself. I’m not going back.”  
  
She turns the handle…  
  
...And releases it, as Power Guy scoops her into his arms.  
  
He stares into her eyes, pulling back his mask to fully show his own. He looks into her tear-filled eyes, as she looks into his.  
  
“...You have a good deal of Princess’ emotions. What do the parts of you that came from her want?”  
  
She looks away at first, but the intensity of his gaze draws the words out of her.  
  
“...She wants… to finally be free.”  
  
He shakes his head. “You’re the same in that way. But is that all she wants?”  
  
“Yes.” She says, not sparing a second thought towards the question.  
  
Power Guy sets her down in front of the door, and takes a few steps back. Silently, he allows her to do as she will.  
  
Princess looks between him and the door, waiting to make sure this isn’t a trick. Once she’s sure of it, she rushes to get the door open. The feeling of the handle turning in her own hands sent waves of joy through her, accentuated by the rush of pushing it open to feel the outside wind blow against her.  
  
...She was free.  
  
All it would take was a single step. One step through the door, and the original Princess’ journey would end, and hers would begin. Finally _she_ would be the one going through cars, exploring interesting new worlds in search of her perfect car, and helping Irvin and Rico get their numbers-  
  
“!” She turns back, looking at Power Guy. He gives her a sympathetic expression, as the realization dawns over her.  
  
A bitter chuckle escapes her lips, as she slowly shuts the door. “Well played.”  
  
“I knew you wouldn’t be willing to leave them behind.” He admits.  
  
“Which you only know because Rico believes it...” She sighs. “Fine. Do what you have to do. Act fast though, I can’t promise that I won’t change my mind.”  
  
“I promise it’ll all be over by the time you wake up. I won’t make you suffer.”  
  
Before she has time to process it, he repeats the same move he’d done to Irvin. A quick chop to the neck, and she was out of commission.  
  
There was only one thing left to do...  
  
…  
  
Irvin slowly wakes up, feeling groggy and sluggish. When his eyes finally decide to open, he sees Rico standing above him, grinning like an idiot.  
  
“You look goofy when you sleep.”  
  
He slowly looked around. It looked like they were still in the hall of mirrors...  
  
It took Irvin’s brain a minute to catch up on what had happened. The last thing he remembered was… stepping into the mirror, and reflecting back the other him. All moments where he wasn’t mimicking the other Irvin’s actions… he couldn’t remember any, leaving gaps in his memories. Just remembering the out of body experience sent shivers down his spine.  
  
As he sits up, he quickly looks from side to side. Seeing nobody else, he digs his hand into his pocket.  
  
“W-Where’s-”  
  
Before he can even finish, Princess sticks her head out the front of Rico’s hat. “Calm down, I’m fine. The concern is appreciated though.”

He lets out a long sigh of relief. She pops out of Rico’s headwear, and makes a leap into Irvin’s pocket. “I apologize for my earlier recklessness. Honestly, I was just so enthralled at the sight of that reflection that I completely forgot the warning. But it seems Rico was able to return everything to the way it should be.”  
  
Rico rubs the back of his head, blushing slightly. “Well, technically it was Power Guy who saved the day. But what great superhero comic doesn’t include time travel at some point? Heroes come from the future to save the present all the time, despite everyone saying never to change the past and the present really being the past for them.”  
  
“I-I don’t… I don’t understand.” Irvin says. “Why would you… b-bring me back?”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Rico asks, patting Irvin on the shoulder. “You’re our friend. You’d do the same for us, wouldn’t you?”  
  
“B-But, I didn’t _want_ to come back. At least the other-” Irvin starts. Princess reaches up and grabs his lips to stop him.  
  
“Oh hush up already! Wouldn’t you say that the other _me_ was better off too? Or that Power Guy would probably lead a more fulfilling life than Power Boy?” She argues.  
  
Rico crosses his arms. “Yeah, what she said! Comparing yourself to others is a slippery slope that we won’t let you go down. End of story. Conversation over!”  
  
He tries to put together a sentence, but Princess’ hold over his lips was a pretty definitive discussion ender. After a few seconds of silence, she lets him go.  
  
There was nothing left keeping them there, but there was still one question left to answer.  
  
“So… What are we going to do with… that?” Princess asks, motioning towards the mirror. None of them wanted to approach and risk seeing their reflected selves again.  
  
Naturally, both of them turn to Irvin for a solution. But even under the pressure of their hopeful eyes, all Irvin could say was, “...W-We should leave.”

If you listened _really_ closely, you could actually hear Rico’s heart break at the answer. Irvin quickly explains himself. “There… isn’t a w-way for all of us t-to be outside of the mirror. N-None that I can think of at l-least. If we can’t take them out, the l-least we could do is stay far away from it. S-Since it seems like people inside the m-mirror are only conscious when actively reflecting a p-person. It’s… all we can do.”  
  
“Oh…” Even with the reasoning, Rico still couldn’t help but stare at the floor in disappointment. Irvin pats him on the shoulder.  
  
“Come on. The s-sooner we get out of here, the better.” He says. As they start off toward the exit, Rico tugs on his arm.  
  
Even with the mask, Irvin could see his hesitation. “...Is what we did good?”  
  
“...It’s g-grey.” Irvin confesses, shrugging uncertainly. “I’m sorry, I d-don’t know how t-to feel about this one either.”  
  
Surprisingly, Irvin’s vague answer actually seemed to comfort Rico somewhat. Still, Princess crawls onto the boy to offer some more words of comfort as they continue walking along. Irvin fell back, lost in thought over the choices they’d made. The version of himself that was happy. The person he actually was…  
  
And from his thoughts, came a change. Gazing down at his right hand, a new number rested on his palm.  
  
 _650_  
  
It had gone up. He was now further from getting home than he was before…  
  
Silently, he clenches his fist and holds it at his side. Rico already had three people he couldn’t save weighing on his conscience. He didn’t need a fourth…


	5. The Comic Car

When they all step through, the first thing that hits them is the smell of _Food._ The smiles on their faces would make you think they’d stepped through the gates of heaven.  
  
“Is that… s-steak?” Irvin questions, sniffing the air. “Or maybe b-burgers? Definitely beef.”  
  
“I don’t even care!” Rico shouts, tears of joy running down his face. “I’ll eat anything right now, even broccoli!”  
  
“Control yourselves.” Princess scolds. “It’s food, we’ve all eaten before. Don’t act like animals just because it’s been a few cars since our last meal.”  
  
“P-Princess, you’re salivating.” Irvin informs her. She quickly covers her mouth and dives straight to the bottom of his pocket in shame.  
  
The car appeared to be some kind of bar. While Irvin might normally be concerned about staying in such a place with Rico, the desire for a good meal far outweighed any of his concerns. Besides, it didn’t look like it was too rowdy of an establishment. There was a more casual area near the front with shelves of drinks and patrons watching sports (chess of all things), and then a more formal space on the other end of the room where people were seated in front of a stage.  
  
Rico sniffs the air. “It kind of smells like adult drinks over here.” He mentions, looking towards the bar area.  
  
“I think we’ll s-sit on _that_ side of the room.” Irvin quickly declares, pointing to the more formal side. As he walks further in, a hostess approaches them with a few menus in hand.  
  
“Table for two?” She asks. It takes him a minute to realize what she was supposed to be, but he finally lands on the answer ‘humanoid chess piece’ (a bishop specifically). Most of the other passengers followed that theme as well, with knights, kings, rooks, queens, and pawns scattered throughout.  
  
...It also struck him in that moment that he was starting to get used to some weird stuff.

“Uh, y-y-yeah.” He says, shaking his head to clear out that revelation. “Er, we h-have three actually, b-but Princess will probably be sitting on the t-table.” He explains, pulling her out of his pocket to showcase her size. The waitress simply nods politely, clearly more desensitized to the train’s weirdness than Irvin. He couldn’t help the occasional moment of clarity where his mind reminded him that none of this was normal. There was an out of place velociraptor sitting at the bar, and that didn’t even crack his top ten list of the weirdest denizens he’d seen.  
  
As she leads them towards the more refined half of the bar, she explains a few things. “The food we serve is free, so have as much as you’d like. All we ask is that you stay for the show.”  
  
“What’s playing?” Rico asks, looking for signs near the stage that’d hint at what to expect.  
  
“Tonight we have a stand-up comic coming in to test some material. When you’re ready to leave, I’ll bring you some feedback cards. Rate the food, performance, and the service, and you’re all set.” As she concludes, she sets three menus at the table along with silverware and a small red cushion for Princess.  
  
“Thanks mam!” Rico says, sitting down and quickly starting to look through the menu. “Ooh, since it’s free Irvin, can we get appetizers?”  
  
Before he can answer, a different host (a knight) sets a basket of bread on the table, exchanging a wave with the hostess before walking away. The three of them stare at the bread as if gold nuggets had just been left right in front of them.  
  
This must not have been the hostess’ first rodeo though, as she saw the ravenous looks in their eyes. After giving a quick comment, “I’ll be back in just a moment to take your drink orders!”, she leaves them.  
  
...  
  
Exactly one minute later, the basket which had been overflowing with bread was already empty.  
  
After they put in their drink and meal orders, the waitress leaves them alone again. With their starvation abetted, they were finally able to focus on other things.  
  
The number on Rico’s hand was at the forefront of his mind. It had gone down to 16 sometime during that fiasco in the hall of mirrors car, but the last eight cars they’d torn through saw no changes.  
  
“I’m more than halfway there, but I’ll never get home if it won’t drop again.” Rico complains, pouting. “How many more cars is it gonna take?”  
  
“I told you a-already, it’s based on your p-progress in overcoming your issues. T-Technically, we don’t even h-have to travel between cars. We c-could just sit around and talk in one until y-you hit a breakthrough that s-sends your number down to zero.”  
  
“But that’d be boooorrrrriinnng.” He moans. “And Power Boy doesn’t have any problems, so I should get to leave since I’m him and he’s me.”  
  
“Rico dear, complaining won’t change anything unfortunately.” Princess says, placing her hand his. “Unless you’re willing to face the metaphorical demons that brought you here, nothing is going to change.”  
  
“What brought me here?” He repeats, looking at his number.  
  
“Do you remember what you were doing before you got on the train. Experience tells me that’s often a good place to start.” She says.  
  
He taps a finger to his chin a few times, before something flashes through his eyes. Slowly, he pulls his hands back and stares at his number. “That…” He starts, but can’t seem to finish.  
  
Realizing that he has Irvin and Princess’ full attention gets him sweating. His eyes shift quickly around the room, before landing on Irvin’s hand. “Uh- I-Irvin! Your number is _really_ big! Has it gone down any, are you in the 500s now?”  
  
As Princess leans over to peek, Irvin clenches his hand into a fist. “No, it hasn’t gone down.” He answers. _Technically_ not a lie.

It was obvious that Rico was trying to deflect, but it was just as obvious to Princess that Irvin didn’t want to talk about his own number at present. She didn’t know why, but he was terrible at hiding his emotions. It was an obnoxious thing to notice, as all she could do about it was hope the comedy show would distract from the obvious tension, at least until they were done eating. Prying would have to wait.  
  
As their drinks and appetizer (a platter of mozzarella sticks) were brought out, the lights in the rooms dim. With perfect timing to distract from their terrible conversation, it seemed the show was beginning. Princess quickly took advantage.  
  
“Oh look, the show’s starting, so why don’t we all _stop talking_ and listen?”  
  
It seemed that everyone present was happy with that arrangement. They all watch as a scrawny looking pawn steps out on stage, eliciting polite applause from the audience. He steps up to his mic stand with some strong swagger.  
  
“How’s everyone feeling tonight?” He asks, casually tossing his mic back and forth. “I’m sure you’re all feelin’ fine, you all look like you’ve been having a great time here. It’s been a good time for me too. I was two cars away from here this morning, and I was feeling _Em Patient_ trying to get back in time.”  
  
The pun gets a few laughs from the crowd. Rico couldn’t help but feel confused, tugging on Irvin’s sleeve to get him to explain it.  
  
“I-It’s something pawns can do in chess.” Irvin whispers to him. “Em passant.” He just nods his head, understanding but not finding it very funny.  
  
“I see we’ve got some interesting characters in the audience today.” The comic leads in with. As he looks around, he eventually points to a table seating a rather toned queen and a shorter pawn. “Take this couple here for example. From what I hear, all women are s’posed to be queens, but gorilla arms over here looks like a king who grabbed the wrong crown this morning.”  
  
The queen chuckles along with the joke, as the audience breaks into laughter. “Sorry, sorry, that’s not nice of me to say, but Diddy Kong ain’t exactly helping your case!” He jokes, pointing to the short guy next to her. That gets the audience laughing.  
  
“What’s a _Diddy Kong?_ ” Princess asks, tugging on Irvin’s arm to get his attention.  
  
“Are you t-two going to make me explain every j-joke?”  
  
She rolls her eyes and turns to ask Rico, but pauses. Unlike Irvin, he wasn’t smiling at the performance. She chalks it up to him not getting the joke either, or perhaps lingering hesitation over their prior conversation. But as the show goes on…  
  
“Eeeyyyyyy, this knight! I never thought those horse heads could look flattering, but…” He drops the sentence, and is met with laughter once more. The knight he was referring to goes red in the face at his comment. “Not sure whether to dial a plastic surgeon or a vet to put them out of their misery.”  
  
As the knight shrinks down in her seat, Rico’s frown deepens. The tone of this performance wasn’t very fun in his eyes.  
  
His sour mood is somewhat alleviated by their main courses eventually arriving. When their hostess sets a delicious-looking cheeseburger in front of him, his feelings immediately shift for the positive. Irvin had ordered himself a plate of wings, while Princess helped herself to a cookie the same size as her. That sounded really impressive until you remembered that she was a mouse. One of the few benefits of being that small.  
  
“So…” Irvin interrupts himself to nibble on his wings. “What d-do you think about this c-car, Princess? Decent food, entertainment… Feel like you c-could live here?”  
  
She sets her sweet treat down, dabbing her mouth with a small piece of napkin that had been cut to an appropriate size for her. “It certainly fills the most basic needs, but it’s far from fitting for my own luxurious tastes. Still, I’ll grant that of the cars we’ve travelled so far, it’s certainly within the top three at least.”  
  
“So the quest c-continues…” He mutters, wetting his fingers in his water glass before wiping them on his napkin to wipe the sauce off. Princess visibly cringes at this bachelor level crime against sophistication. “What d-do you think Rico? Do you l-like this one?”  
  
“Well, *munch* the food is really great.” He says, letting small chunks of burger fall right out of his mouth as he speaks. Princess stares at him in horror.  
  
“Et tu, Power Boy? Were you both raised in a barn?”  
  
“Weren’t you?” Irvin asks. “The car I found you in w-was a farm, wasn’t it?”  
  
She shakes her head. “Yes, but I’m not _from_ there; just like I wasn’t _from_ that beetle car, despite Power Boy finding us there.”  
  
“Really? Huh…” Immediately, his mind went to the question: _how did she wind up there?_ This was hardly the time to talk about it though. The show was still going on, and if Princess had wanted to talk more about it than she likely would have.  
  
Best to just change topic then. “That comedian is p-pretty good at observational h-humor.”  
  
This time Rico puts the burger down and clears his throat before replying, earning an approving nod from Princess. “To be honest, I don’t really like how-”  
  
Before he can finish, their table is lit up by a spotlight. They all turn their attention back to the stage, where the performing comic was pointing straight at them.  
  
“It looks like we’ve got some passengers in attendance tonight folks!” He hops off the stage, carrying his mic with him as he approaches the table. “I count two of you. What’s the relationship? Father and son? Brothers? Uncle and nephew?”  
  
Unfortunately, the comedian picked Irvin to respond, thrusting the microphone into his face. It was incredible just how quickly the decision backfired. With all eyes on him and no preparation, his stutters reach new peaks never before witnessed.  
  
“U-U-Um, that -er… W-W-W-We a-aren’t r-relationed.” He spits out. Rico swore he saw smoke coming from his ears.  
  
“Oh, you aren’t _relationed._ Good use of nonexistent tense there, I take it you’re an English major?” Once again, he puts the mic right back in Irvin’s face.  
  
“H-Haaaaaahhh… N-No.” He pushes it away.  
  
“Well hey, no worries. I’m sure countless passengers have been brought here because they sucked at basic communication.”  
  
“Hahh, yeah…” He mutters, looking like a man who had not only accepted his death, but prayed for it at that very moment.  
  
But death did not come! Instead, he received the next best thing. The comic moved on, approaching Princess. “I’m guessing you’re a denizen? That, or One-One’s really expanded the field of who’s allowed to be a passenger.”  
  
When the mic is in front of Princess, she has a far easier time responding. “That is correct. I’m accompanying these two to keep them out of trouble.”  
  
“You have a name?” He asks.  
  
“Yes, it’s _Princess._ ”  
  
He snorts. “Oh wow, and here I thought the queens were bad. _Princess,_ now that’s a name that just screams ‘most likely to be spoiled by some pathetic guy desperate for companionship.’ Hmm…” He exaggeratedly turns to look at Irvin, earning a few giggles from the other patrons.  
  
As the comic continues joking about their group, Rico silently balls his hands into fists. Without a word, he gets out of his seat to try and find the bathroom. Before he can make his getaway though, he’s stopped by the very comedian he’d been trying to avoid.  
  
“Hey hey, don’t skip out before your turn’s up.” The pawn says, rudely jerking Rico back by his cape. “So what’s your name kid?”  
  
Against his wishes, Rico had a microphone in front of him. No response was given. He just turns around to walk away again, which only gets the comic going more.

The pawn slides right in front of him, blocking his path. “Ooh, a shy one? Here’s a technique to help with that: Just imagine everyone else is in there underwear. Though in your case, maybe start by imagining you were wearing pants.”  
  
The mic returned, and Rico decided to speak up this time. “That’s not funny.”  
  
The comic cups a hand over his ear. “Oh? I guess the laughter for that one must have been an echo.”  
  
“...All you’re doing is making fun of people. That isn’t funny, it’s just mean.”  
  
For a brief moment, the look on the comic’s face shifts. His eyes narrow and his brow furls suddenly, as though a mask he’d been wearing had slipped right off.  
  
When his smile returns, it’s with a hint of malice behind it. He hits back with a counterattack “I’m not funny? Well that smarts, especially coming from someone who’s gotta be an expert at making people laugh.” He pulls on Rico’s cape again. “What hero are you even supposed to be? The Inadequate Grade Schooler? The Caped Coward?”  
  
“Those aren’t-” Rico tries to respond.  
  
“Hey I’ve got an idea. You don’t like my act? Why don’t you come up and show me how it’s done?”  
  
Before Rico has a chance to say no, he’s dragged up to the stage by the pawn. A microphone is dumped into his hands.  
  
“Give us your best material, whatever you’ve got.” The comic says, taking a seat at a front row table.  
  
Being put on stage had already gotten Rico sweating, but the microphone in his hand felt like it weighed a ton. Without any time to think, he tries to tell a joke.  
  
“Um…” His mind was spiraling, as it all happened too fast. While his mind failed him, his mouth had started doing its best impression of Irvin. “E-Err… W-What do you c-call- um- th-that’s…”

“You sure you aren’t overalls’ brother? Never knew a stutter could be genetic!” The comic calls out, only getting Power Boy more flustered.  
  
“W-W-Why did the chicken c-cross the road?” He finally spits out.  
  
“To find a more original joke!” The pawn answers to the audience’s delight.  
  
Back at the group’s table, Irvin and Princess watched the hero and comedian butt heads. As Rico struggles to tell jokes in-between heckles, Irvin whispers to Princess, “H-Hey… This is g-g-getting ugly, i-isn’t it?”  
  
When he looks down at his companion, he sees her seething with anger. “Irvin, this became ‘ugly’ almost as soon as it began. Stand up, and put a stop to it before it gets worse. _Now._ ” She growls,  
  
“R-Right.” He mutters quickly, standing up. As he makes his way to the stage, the comic continues slinging insults at Rico under a thin veil of comedy.  
  
“Your jokes may be trash, but I guess there’s an appeal to them. Some people really dig cringe comedy!” He laughs at his own joke, as does a portion of the audience, though less than before. Even those watching on the sidelines were starting to look uncomfortable with where the direction of this show.  
  
“I-I-I’m a hero, not a comedian...” Rico retorts, weakly. Perhaps seeing Irvin through the crowd, the comic puts more distance between them by climbing back on stage. He walks up to Rico, towering over the boy.  
  
The microphone is snatched away from him by the comic. With a hand over it, he whispers one last jab for only Rico’s ears. “Hero, comedian, to be honest, you seem pretty pathetic at both.”  
  
“!-” Rico was shaking. He looked ready to either start a fight or start crying.  
  
Turning his focus back to the crowd, the comic finally lets him off. “Get off the stage kid, and leave the comedy to the professionals.”  
  
When Irvin reaches the edge of the stage, Rico is already climbing down. The older boy kicks himself for being too late to stop anything. All he can do is try to comfort Rico.

“H-Hey, let’s get b-back to our table and-” Before he can finish though, Rico storms out the exit door in a hurry without sparing him or Princess a word.  
  
“Yeesh, what a baby.”  
  
It hadn’t gone through the mic, but Irvin was close enough to the stage to hear the comic utter those words. An uncharacteristic rage began clouding his thoughts.  
  
But he retained enough clarity to realize that he needed to catch up to Rico. As satisfying as it would be to beat the snot out of the jerk onstage, he didn’t have the time.  
  
Then again, maybe there _was_ a way he could achieve both...

…  
  
Thankfully, Rico didn’t go far. The moment he stepped out Irvin found him waiting off to the side of the platform. Part of that may have been a fear of crossing the bridge alone, but it was hard to say.  
  
“N-No… No no no no no!” Rico shouts, shaking like a leaf.  
  
“R-Rico?” Irvin asks. The boy turns around, holding up his right hand. The number on it was all Irvin needed to see.  
  
 _39_  
  
“I-I-It went up!” He sobs. “It’s supposed to go down...”  
  
“That’s- i-it’s not-” Irvin starts, but he isn’t able to get a word in.  
  
“Is it broken!? What if it keeps going higher? Am I going to be stuck here forever?”  
  
“Th-That won’t happen!” Irvin quickly says. “Everything i-is f-fine! Don’t cry...” Before he knew it, Rico had wrapped his arms around Irvin’s waist in a hug.  
  
“I wanna go home!” He shouts, before breaking into tears. “I miss mom a-and dad, and my friends, and o-our dog… I don’t wanna be stuck here forever.”  
  
Burying his face into Irvin’s gut causes his mask to slip off, falling to their feet. “..I’m scared… The train is mad at me for being scared again, but I can’t stop. No matter how hard I try, I’m always gonna be scared...”  
  
“Rico…”  
  
“Please Irvin… I don’t know how to stop feeling like this.”  
  
“Rico!” Irvin grabs him by the shoulders and forces him back a few steps. His overalls had a wet patch where his face pressed against them, but that didn’t matter right now. “Look.”  
  
He holds up his own hand, showing the number on it. Rico’s own eyes widen.  
  
“Yours... went up too?” He says. Irvin nods.  
  
“Your number isn’t broken. Y-You just regressed a little bit.” Irvin explains.  
  
“Regress… That m-means to go back?” Rico asks. He nods.  
  
“The number goes down when we make progress solving p-problems. When we get off track, it goes up. It s-should be able to go back down, just like before.” He continues.  
  
After giving the hero a few seconds to process it, he concludes, “You aren’t anymore trapped here than y-you were before.”  
  
Rico’s number drops to 30 in front of them, as starts to calm down. He wipes the tears from his eyes, but couldn’t stop sniffling. Something was still wrong, something Rico wasn’t telling him. The fact that his number hadn’t returned to 16 was proof of it. In trying to think up what it could be, his mind drifts to earlier.  
  
“Rico… C-Can you tell me w-why you’re on this train? I promise not to laugh or th-think bad of you or anything. Even if it’s b-bad, I need to know if I’m going to h-help you.”  
  
Rico hesitates, staring down in shame. Irvin expected as much.  
  
“I-If you tell me what b-brought you here, I’ll tell you how I g-got here too. Would that make it better?” Irvin offers. That gets Rico to meet his eyes again. Slowly, he nods.  
  
They sit by the door, neither wanting to go back inside. Rico pulls his hat off, sticking the mask in it. Irvin had caught brief glimpses of him without the hat, but never without the mask. He hadn’t even known that Rico’s eyes were brown until now. Without the accessories, he looked like a normal kid you could find anywhere. “I… was running from a fight.”  
  
Irvin managed to hold in his immediate response of _‘Really?’_.  
  
He goes on. “I have this friend named Tyler. We’re actually neighbors, he lives in the house next to mine. I really like hanging out with him, but when we’re at school… He gets picked on a lot by some of the other kids, just because he likes things they don’t.”  
  
“Like what?” Irvin asks.  
  
“Oh, uh… Wolf stuff mostly.” Rico says. “He likes wolves more than I like comic books, and I _love_ comics. He came to school dressed as one for a presentation once, and that’s around when he started to get picked on.”  
  
Irvin understood exactly what Rico was talking about. Children could be cruel. If you go against the social norms, then you were a target. All a bully needs is an excuse...  
  
“The kids who were being jerks to him used to pick on me. So when they switched to Tyler, I just… kept my head down. I didn’t want them to go after me again.”  
  
Irvin glances down at the hat and mask in Rico’s lap. “Did they p-pick on you because of, er, y-you know?” He motions to the costume pieces.  
  
“Huh?” Rico pauses, following his gaze. “No, this was later. They were mean to me ‘cuz I couldn’t pronounce my ‘R’s right when I was younger, and _they_ thought it was funny.”

His hands ball into fists again as painful memories surface. “So because of that one thing, they would always laugh whenever I messed something up. They didn’t care if I was trying my best, they just wanted to see me fail at everything I did. Because I couldn’t pronounce the letter ‘R’ right.”  
  
“...Yeah. Some k-kids are like that. Adults too…” Irvin mutters. Still staring down at the hat and mask, he asks, “Then, when d-did-?”  
  
“I only started wearing these afterwards…” Rico explains, picking up the mask. He stares at it sadly. “They made it... easier to deal with them. Power Boy is invincible, so you can say anything you want to about him. He can take it.”  
  
 _...Unlike me._  
  
That was the unspoken implication. It painted Irvin’s perspective on the _invincible_ Power Boy in a new light.  
  
“I j-just tried to ignore what was happening at first, but Tyler was my friend. I wanted to help him, and just watching him go through everything I did made me more and more angry until I just _had_ to do something.”  
  
He stands up, acting out the next part. “I don’t even remember what they were making fun of him for, but I caught them messing with him at his locker and went off on them. I told them, ‘You aren’t allowed to do that anymore! This citizen is under my protection, and if you wish to cause him harm then you’ll have to go through me!’ I thought if somebody finally called them out, that it would be over.”  
  
He sits back down. “Then they called my bluff, and told me they were gonna kick my butt at recess.”  
  
Irvin sets a comforting hand on his back. Unconsciously, Rico leans in closer, nuzzling into Irvin’s side. “...I never went. They were bigger than me, and I was afraid of getting hurt. When class ended, I ran to the bathroom and hid in a stall.” He looks out at the vast empty wasteland. “...I only came out when I heard a train whistle, and then I was waking up in that weird market.”  
  
They sit in silence. The sounds of the train chugging along its unending course filled the air between them, as Irvin fully took in Rico’s story.  
  
“...I’ve b-been there before.” Irvin finally says. He repositions himself to face Rico as he starts his own story. “I used t-to get bullied all the time back in s-school. It was m-middle school for me though, b-but it was basically the same.”  
  
“Why’d they go after you?” Rico asks.  
  
“...You’re kidding.” Irvin just motions to his entire self. “There’s j-just _so many_ possible reasons that I d-don’t think I c-could pick just one. I’m a b-buffet of material.”  
  
He smiles when he hears Rico stifle a chuckle. The boy quickly covers his mouth. “S-Sorry, I didn’t-”  
  
“It’s a g-grain of sand in a desert.” He replies. “Anyways, th-they used to do s-small things like call me names, t-trip me if they saw me coming d-down the hall, steal my s-stuff, the usual. They did it f-for a few days, before they switched to messing with m-my sister.”  
  
“Eliza?” Rico asks. He nods.  
  
“We’re t-twins, so she was in the same grade as me. S-She didn’t let one of them cheat off of her on a test, so they s-started doing to her what they d-did to me.”  
  
“So… what did you do?” Rico asks, impatiently staring at him for his answer.  
  
He smiles, proudly answering. “I started a fistfight in the hallway that e-ended with me and two of them having to see the nurse. One of us n-needed stitches.”  
  
...He deflates. “It was me. I w-was the one who n-needed stitches.” Rico’s small chuckle at his lame joke put a smile on his face. He finishes his story. “B-But after that, they left us a-alone. Even though I d-didn’t really beat them, th-they realized that I would probably do it again if th-they tried anything.”  
  
“Would you have?”  
  
“Absolutely.” Irvin answers without hesitating for even a moment. “Nobody p-picks on Eliza. _Nobody._ ”

Rico smiles, before his expression falls. “I guess I can’t call myself a hero, since I couldn’t do the same.”  
  
Mentally, Irvin was kicking himself for his story choice. “S-Sorry… I’m n-not good at c-comforting people. I d-don’t even know what to say…”  
  
With nothing to say, nothing is spoken. Their conversation comes to a short pause, until the next topic comes to one of them.  
  
“...So… Why are you on the train?” Rico asks. “You promised you’d say.”  
  
“...Y-Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” Irvin reminds himself, sighing. Gathering his composure, he starts.

“...My s-sister, Eliza. I haven’t talked to her for a w-while. A f-few years, actually.”  
  
“Years?” Rico repeats. “But, you always sounded so happy when you brought her up. Have you tried calling?”  
  
“...I c-couldn’t. Not until…” He thinks about a nice way to put it, but is left with only the harsh truth. “Not until… I w-wasn’t a total failure.”  
  
Before Rico can even start to counter, he goes on. “I d-dropped out of college, c-couldn’t hold onto a job for more than a month or two, and didn’t e-even have a p-place to call home f-for a while. The only reason I w-wasn’t out on the s-streets is b-because my friend, Terrence, let me crash on his couch.”  
  
“...I d-didn’t want her to know just h-how bad I was doing.”  
  
“I… understand that.” Rico admits, rubbing his head. “You didn’t want to disappoint her.”  
  
He nods. “That, and she’d definitely t-try to talk me into coming home. And I’d do it, b-because I’m an idiot and c-can’t say no to her.” That draws another chuckle out of Rico.  
  
Irvin smiles, continuing. “I promised myself th-that if I could just h-hold down a job for three m-months, then I’d f-finally call her again. But…” This part of the story quickly wiped any traces of joy off his face.  
  
“It didn’t happen?” Rico guesses. Irvin shakes his head.  
  
“It d-doesn’t matter anymore… She died last month in a traffic accident.”  
  
A grim expression crosses Rico’s face. “Oh no…”  
  
“After I h-heard about it from d-dad, I just… It still doesn’t f-feel real. I guess I h-haven’t been handling it w-well.” He stares up at the cloudy red sky above. “The train picked me up after her funeral.”  
  
“So… You’re here because you couldn’t handle Eliza being gone?” Rico concludes.  
  
“That, or e-everything else.” Irvin says, shrugging. “Maybe I j-just had so many problems that th-this one was the hair to b-break the camel’s back. I don’t know h-how this train chooses passengers, s-so it’s hard to say. If this train o-only wants people with issues though, then a l-loser like me was always bound to end up here.”  
  
“...” Rico looks up at Irvin. “I don’t think you’re a loser.”  
  
“Sorry, h-have we met? Hi, I’m I-Irvin Kemp.” He jokes back, but stops when he sees Rico frown. The boy grabs Irvin’s hand, holding it between his. The glowing number was covered by Rico’s own.  
  
“You aren’t a loser. You’re really nice, and smart, and tall, and you care about people. And even when you’re sad, which is a lot of the time, you never take it out on me or Princess.”  
  
“I w-wouldn’t call myself s-smart…” Irvin mutters, scratching his chin with his free hand. “And I’m too m-much of a leech on others to be considered n-nice...” He could tell that Rico was getting upset with him, so he stopped with the comments.  
  
“...Life’s not fair. A g-guy with no future like me gets to k-keep on living, while a girl who probably would have g-gone on to do great things dies young.”  
  
“Well…” Rico rubs the back of his head, trying to find the least preachy way to encourage his glum friend. “Wouldn’t another way of looking at it be that you owe it, to all the Eliza’s who never get their chance, to live the best life you can?”  
  
“...The b-best life I can probably isn’t all that great you know.”  
  
“Better than nothing!” Rico counters. Irvin couldn’t exactly deny that.  
  
“I’ll… try.” Irvin finally concedes, to Rico’s glee. He could hear his number changing, but Rico’s hand hid whether it was a rise or fall. “B-But don’t expect much, it’s still _me_ we’re t-talking about. And w-what about you?”  
  
“Me?” He asks. “What about me?”  
  
Irvin pulls his hand free, keeping his eyes on Rico. “Are you g-going to put this stuff back on o-or what?” He asks, grabbing the hero’s hat and mask and holding them out to the boy. Rico stares at them, unsure of what to do.  
  
“C-Come on. If Power Boy isn’t here, then who’ll p-protect Princess and me from the _really_ d-dangerous stuff this train has to throw at us?” Irvin prompts. It’s enough to get Rico to put the items back on, but he still seemed uncomfortable about it.  
  
“Um…” Rico hesitates, thinking for a minute before saying what’s on his mind. “From now on… I’ll try not to use this as a crutch. Until I’m _really_ a super strong hero that needs to hide his identity to protect those closest to me... I won’t call myself Power Boy!”  
  
Striking a heroic pose, he declares, “I’m… **Rico Ricardio!** Hero in training!”  
  
Despite everything they’d talked about, Rico looked confident as he made his declaration. The train agreed with his choice, as the telltale sign of numbers changing accompanied it. Remembering his own change, Irvin finally wonders about his own digits. Rico sticks his hand out for both of them to watch, his number still in flux. Seeing this, Irvin does the same.  
  
When his number settles, Rico is beaming with joy.  
  
 _4_

_568_  
  
“One digit!” He shouted happily. “And yours is in the 500s now!”  
  
“It… It went down by almost a hundred.” Irvin says, unable to believe what he was seeing.  
  
As he danced around happily, Rico slowed to a stop suddenly, staring at Irvin’s chest. “Hey, how come Princess hasn’t come out to celebrate with us?”  
  
“O-Oh!” Irvin facepalms. “Right, I completely forgot about that. I n-need to go back in for her.”  
  
“You left her in there!?”  
  
“W-Well…”  
  
…  
  
 _“Hey! F-Funny guy!” Irvin shouted._  
  
 _“Huh?” The pawn on stage looks over at him just in time to see Irvin wind back his arm._  
  
 _“Catch!”_  
  
 _He threw the item in his hand as hard as he could, right into the comedian’s face. The performer tried to catch it, but he wasn’t quick enough. Surprisingly, he wasn’t knocked back when it hit him. In fact, whatever he’d thrown wasn’t very hard or heavy at all like he’d been expecting. Maybe it wasn’t an attack at all, but a clumsy way of asking for a signature._  
  
 _That idea vanished quickly, as the thing on his face bit him. He tried to slap it away, but it dove straight into his shirt, biting and scratching him as it skittered about his body, never staying still for long enough for him to catch it._  
  
 _“H-Have fun, Princess.” Irvin called out before leaving._  
  
…

Irvin finishes his recounting with a cough and a half-hearted reminder that violence was rarely the answer and revenge was wrong. Rico nodded along, but the wide grin on his face made it clear that he wasn’t complaining about their choices.  
  
As Irvin goes inside to get their third friend out, Rico is left outside. Staring at the number on his hand, his smile gains a hint of melancholy to it.  
  
He wanted to go home, but that didn’t mean there weren’t things here that he would miss...


	6. The Children's Pizzeria Car

The room, previously roaring with discussion, falls to a deathly silence. All eyes were on Irvin, the man who'd silenced them all with a slam of the desk. It was obvious from the atmosphere alone that he'd had a revelation, and was prepared to enlighten them.

"The culprit of th-this incident was Colonel Beeswax." He declares. All eyes turn to the bearded Colonel. His round body shook from the weight of Irvin's words.

"The scene of the c-crime was the Observatory." He continues, pointing towards the room in question on their floorplan.

"And the murder weapon w-was the Dagger, found under the table by Lady Rose." He concludes. "The theory that e-everyone has been arguing about j-just a minute ago is impossible. P-Professor Percival being the culprit c-contradicts statements given by Ms. Dodo, who we know was t-telling the truth thanks to Rico's testimony."

"That's right!" Rico says. "And we know the dagger has to be the weapon, because even if it _was_ cleaned, it's the only one that nobody could account for _before_ the body was discovered."

"Poppycock!" The Colonel shouts in shock and rage. "These accusations are completely outrageous! Mr. Goh, tell them they're wrong!"

The rich gent shakes his head. His eyes stare down at the floor as he quietly admits, "Sorry Frank... But I can't see anything wrong with our guests' reasoning."

"This can't be happening… This has to be a dream…" The Colonel mutters, backing away from the group. "I'm innocent!"

Walking around the desk towards the coffee table in the middle of the room, Irvin finishes it all. "There's only one way to know for sure."

Dramatically, he reaches forward…

And opens the small manilla envelope containing three game cards. He checks them all before speaking again.

"Beeswax, Observatory, Dagger. Y-Yep, I was right. We win." He says, turning them around to show the other players. Colonel Beeswax slumps over in disappointment, as everyone showers Irvin with applause.

"Excellent deduction!" Mr. Goh says, offering Irvin a handshake. He continues, while walking them all to the exit. "You all put on quite a lovely show, especially for first-timers. Stop by for another game if you're ever passing through, will you?"

"I-If we have the time." Irvin says, accepting the handshake. "B-But maybe don't drop a corpse i-in front of the kid next time?"

"I'm traumatized!" Rico jokes, incapable of hiding his wide grin.

Abashedly, Mr. Goh looks away and coughs into his fist. "Er… Sorry about that. This car wasn't exactly made with younger passengers in mind. Perhaps we'll make it a simple theft next time instead."

He opens the door for Irvin, and the two share a quick nod before their group leaves. Once it's closed behind them, Princess grumbles from his pocket about how the evidence against Ms. Dodo was stronger than the evidence against Beeswax. Irvin could only chuckle, knowing that she was just bitter about her own accusation being shot down.

"She _had_ the poison and a window of opportunity. It was a perfectly reasonable deduction." She says, defending herself from earlier critiques.

"But Ms. Dodo would never have done that!" Rico counters. "She was a _prim_ and _proper_ lady, so she would never kill. Plus she was in love with the victim."

"Faking affection is far easier than taking a life." She retorts.

"Uh, guys?" Irvin cuts in. "I-It was all a game, remember? Nobody a-actually died or k-killed."

"I know, but the story really came to life. It felt so real!" Rico replies. "Maybe I should try Larping when I get back home...?"

He peeks down at his number, seeing it unchanged. Instead of casting it a look of sadness, a determined look solidified on his face. Irvin couldn't help but smile, recognizing the progress Rico had made.

"Maybe you should try it too, Irvin." Princess suggests. "Your social standing can't drop any lower than it already has, so you have nothing left to lose. If you're going to call yourself a loser, then you may as well enjoy the perks."

He rolls his eyes at the joke. "Ugh, no thanks. Me and a-anything that requires social skills have n-never really gone well together."

"Perhaps you simply haven't found the right group yet." She says. Irvin couldn't deny the possibility, but highly doubted that the issue wasn't just him. Maybe if his sister was playing-

Oh. Right.

Princess sighs. "Rico dear, he's making the sad sister face again." He took a bit of offense to that.

"Really?" Rico says, checking his unadorned wrist. "Huh, it's only been like an hour since the last time. That's fast, even for him." He took _significantly_ more offense to that!

Well, not really. He played along, puffing out his cheeks and huffing as they teased him, but they were obviously just trying to take his mind off of it. All three of them knew it was an act, but they played along with it anyways. As silly as it seemed, it did help keep the mood up between them.

They'd only been travelling together for a few weeks, but Irvin felt as close to them as he did to someone like Terrence, who he'd lived with since his college days. Something about facing a crisis as a group really forced you to open up to others quickly.

As Irvin places his hand on the door handle, he says a small prayer to himself. "P-Please, no real danger..."

Rico claps his hands together and says his own. "No bullies or school…"

And finally, Princess. "No puzzles that require swimming through condiments…"

They all share a grimace at that one. As fun as The Lunchland Car had been, the stench of ketchup followed them all the way until they found showers in The Stadium Car. And that wasn't even mentioning how badly that stuff gunked up their hair. Of course Princess, whose entire body was covered in fur, had the worst time.

With their wishes spoken, Irvin opens the door. Rico screams when he sees the inside.

"Arcade! Video games!" He sniffs the air, an enchanted look on his face. " _Pizza…_ Irvin, can we live in this car?"

He enters, looking around. Just as Rico had brought up, the first thing that greeted them were various games and arcade cabinets. Images of cartoon characters, most prominently a cat wearing a top hat, plastered the walls. Add in the curtained stage in the back, and Irvin was getting major nostalgia for his youthful days of visiting Chuck E. Cheese for his birthday. They spotted a few young denizens moving between games, all dressed in small mascot suits made to look like various animals.

"Princess, c-can we live here?" Irvin asks, grinning just as widely as Rico. She sighs, shaking her head.

"I'll get a headache from all the colors and sounds if we stay in here for more than a few hours." Both Irvin and Rico's shoulders slump at the denial, but Princess continues. "However, it _has_ been a while since we've had a good meal. And if we have to wait on an order of pizza, then we might as well play a few games as well."

Rico doesn't wait a moment, rushing straight in and darting towards a machine. Irvin chuckles, slowly following behind.

"I wonder if th-they have any classics here?" He muses to himself. The cabinets looked like the kind you could find anywhere, but the games themselves had names he'd never even heard of.

"Do you play many video games?" Princess asks.

He idly rubs the back of his neck. "Well n-not many arcade games… I used t-to play Eliza in r-racing and fighting games a lot back when w-we were younger."

She thinks for a moment, and then asks, "Were you any good at them?"

Irvin gives her a flat look. "Has the a-answer to that question _ever_ b-been yes?" It draws a chuckle out of her.

"Not in any instance you'll acknowledge, I imagine."

When they catch up with Rico, he's pressed down on the floor looking under the machine. Princess slides down Irvin to join him, before asking, "Did you drop something?"

"No, I'm looking for tokens." He says. "Look here."

He motions to the coin slot for the arcade cabinet he had stopped at (some Galaga knock-off that none of them had ever heard of called "Invaderz"). The text printed on it read "1 token."

"D-Do you think it t-takes quarters?" Irvin suggests, digging his wallet out of his pocket. A quick peek inside causes him to frown. "...N-Not that it would matter, s-since I don't have any."

"Maybe?" Rico shrugs, standing back up. He reaches down and scoops up Princess, placing her on his shoulder. "I dunno, whenever we go to places like this my mom's the one who usually gets the tokens. Where are we supposed to ask?"

"Prize counter?" Irvin suggests, jerking a thumb back towards a glass case filled with prizes and a wall behind it lined with more exciting things. An employee dressed in a costume of the top-hatted cat from the walls seemed to be running it.

The suggestion seemed reasonable, so they head over to check it out. The employee greets them with a lazy wave, asking, "What do you want?"

"Do you know w-where we can get tokens?" Irvin asks. The employee sighs, walking left to a machine sitting on the counter with him.

"25 cents a piece, every 20 tokens you get one for free." He explains. Irvin looks inside his wallet again.

"...Do you t-take credit?"

"No." He replies. Frowning, Irvin pulls out a few coins.

"I have… 18 cents and a card that can _almost_ g-get you a free coffee. That's n-not enough." He sighs, turning to Rico and Princess. They shake their heads, neither having cash on them.

"No money, no tokens. Maybe you should get a job before coming here." The employee dismissively says before walking to the other end of the counter. Nobody was there, so it was obvious he was ignoring them.

Rico groans. "The best car ever, and we can't even enjoy it because I didn't bring my piggy bank with me? Man, this is why rich guys with living parents are always the supervillains. Money ruins everything!"

Irvin sighs. "S-Sorry guys. It's m-my fault for being broke…" As he tucks his wallet away, Princess hops onto his shoulder.

"There's no need for that. Besides, I think that rude cashier gave us a rather helpful suggestion. We should take him up on it." She says. With a devious grin, she whispers into Irvin's ear. The nervous man's own expression soon shifts to a similarly evil look as she does. Well, as close as Irvin could get to one. Rico can only watch in confusion, as Irvin approaches the employee once more.

"Excuse me?" He says, earning the man's attention. "Y-You wouldn't happen to be hiring, would you?"

In a dramatic tone shift, the cashier quickly responds. "Yeah! We've been looking for a janitor for a while now to clean those awful bathrooms. You came at just the right time man."

"Then I'd l-like to apply." Irvin says. "I can start t-today if you want."

The employee reaches down for a box behind him, and pulls out a company badge and hat. "Today would be great. Starting wage is 8.50 an hour, and you'll get a coupon for a free pizza today and every two months that you're still employed. I can schedule you for five hours if you want to get started." He sets down a contract in front of Irvin. "Just sign right here, and you're officially part of the team."

Irvin does just that. "So, c-can you clock me in now?"

"Man, you're eager, aren't you? Sure thing." He takes Irvin's badge, and scans it with a handheld scanner. "Alright, you're set-"

"I QUIT!" Irvin shouts, slamming his hat on the floor. "You're a s-slavedriver! I w-won't work another minute in this terrible place!"

The cashier was stunned by Irvin's ferocity, but grew just as angry once he recovered. "You can't quit, you're fired! Worst employee I've ever had, even worse than me! You'll never work at another Perry's Pizza again once I tell corporate about you!"

"G-Good! Not like I'll ever apply h-here again!" Irvin shouts back.

"Good! We don't want you!" The cashier shouts.

"Clock me o-out, because I'm not f-finishing this shift! And p-pay me for the hour I was here!"

"Fine! You're lucky we're legally obligated to round up, else I wouldn't pay you a penny you poor excuse for a janitor."

Slamming eight bills in front of him (not a currency that Irvin had seen, presumably one unique to this car) and a free pizza coupon, the cashier shoots him a mean glare.

Irvin lets his fake anger disappear when he picks up the money. He then holds it out to his former boss. "Can I g-get 32 t-tokens? And a c-cheese pizza?"

Also deflating, his boss takes the bills. "33, you get a freebie after 20." As if the entire argument that had taken place had never happened, he calmly walks over to the machine on the counter and dispenses tokens into a cup. He then hands it to Irvin, who accepts without any further debate. "Your pie will be ready in 20."

Rico, who was watching all of this from the side, just stares at Irvin as he walks over smiling. His tokens jingled about in his cup, making for a satisfying noise. "This s-should be enough, right?"

"..." Rico says nothing, staring at Irvin in abject confusion.

"..." Irvin stares back, before looking away. "...It was P-Princess' idea."

"Ohhhhhhhhhh." Rico nods, suddenly understanding everything. "...So, what do you guys wanna play?"

…

"Not this." Irvin flatly remarks.

"But it's a classic! You can't visit an arcade without at least trying your luck at one of these." Rico protests, slapping the side of the claw machine. "It would be like going to a burger store and only getting a salad.

"Some p-people actually do that you know. People I will n-never understand, but some people."

"But… Look!" Rico gestures inside of the machine, where various items were scattered about. Plushes, redeemable boxes that list how many tickets they're worth on the side, and a few tapes were among the collection.

Irvin raised an eyebrow at the last type. They weren't any format he was familiar with, and even if they were they seemed rather out of place compared to the other offerings.

Still, Irvin's concern was more focused on the nature of the game. "These machines are r-rigged. The claw a-always has loose shaky grip, sometimes e-enough that you'll never win, n-no matter how hard you try. It's just a way t-to make cash off of kids who d-don't know better."

"Okay yeah, some of them are unwinnable, but I've seen people win at these things before. And it's only two tokens to play, so maybe we could win a prize with a few attempts." Rico counters back.

Sensing that the debate was going in circles, Princess jumps in to give her opinion. "If it's only two tokens, then there's no harm in playing."

Rico smiles, before Princess turns to face him. "But let's not spend _all_ of our tokens here. There are many more games we can play, and I'm sure you would feel disappointed if this was all we did."

The compromise was well-received, getting nods from both sides. "How about we all play once?" Rico suggests. "Irvin, you, and me. That won't even use a third of our tokens, right?"

"Me?" Princess' eyes widen, as she glances over to the joystick and buttons. "I've never used a machine like this before though."

"It's easy. C'mon Irvin, show her!" Rico says, pushing the taller man forward.

With a sigh, Irvin plucks two coins from the cup. "I'm gonna drop whatever I g-go for, just be r-ready for it." He says, as he inserts the tokens into the coin slot. The bulbs on the side light up, as music starts to play and a 30 second digital timer starts counting down.

With as much care as he can manage, Irvin directs his shaky claw over a box worth 300 tickets. As soon as the claw comes to a stop, he presses the button to lower it down. His aim was good enough to grab the whole box, and it seemed to move with the claw's hooks. Unfortunately, the claw shook horribly on its way up, spilling the box out the side of its grasp. Now empty, it returns and drops nothing but air in the prize chute.

Irvin hangs his head, sighing and stepping out of the way for the next person to play.

"I'll take this one." Rico confidently announces, approaching the machine. "I'm gonna try to win that dog in the back."

Irvin winces at the declaration, observing that the corgi plush he'd just called out was going to be just buried enough that the claw wouldn't be able to drag it up. "Are you s-sure that's a good one to t-try for?" Irvin warns. Rico completely misses the danger.

"Well, it looks kind of cool, and I want it, so… yeah!"

...Irvin closes his eyes and waits. Correcting Rico's choice was pointless, since the game was rigged from the start. Sure enough, the results are as he suspected.

"Aw man…" Rico sighs, joining Irvin in hanging his head. "And I already had a cool name in mind for it."

"I told you, these g-games only exist to s-steal cash and inflict disappointment on e-everyone who plays." Irvin says, patting him on the back. "You still w-want a go Princess?"

Peeking at the prize pool from Irvin's pocket, she starts to reject the offer. "No, I don't think..."

She pauses. Something inside the machine catches her eyes, and the world around her seemed to fade away when it did. Without so much as a word, she hops onto the control panel to look closer.

"Uh, Princess?" Irvin asks. She blinks, shaking her head and turning back to face Irvin.

"Sorry. I'll play." She says.

Still confused, Irvin puts two tokens in to let Princess make her attempt. The machine lights up, and the timer starts counting down. She takes hold of the controls and guides the claw as best she can. The joystick was almost as big as she was, so she really had to lean into every movement. Irvin was already prepared for another disappointment while watching from the sidelines.

Instead…

_Clunk!_

Something falls into the chute, causing Rico to erupt with cheers and whoops of excitement.

"First try! What'd you win?"

Without waiting for a reply, he digs into the machine to pull out the prize, revealing it to be…

"A box?" He exclaims, turning it around to read the label. "Clio Tur..Treh-see?"

Irvin checks the label himself. "Clio Teresi." He clarifies for the boy. "And it isn't a b-box, it's some kind of cartridge o-or tape."

As he says that, he looks again.

"Oh! My dad told me about tapes. He said it's what people used before DVDs, which were what we used before the internet."

He takes the tape back, looking it over. "Is it a movie or something? Why'd you go for this one Princess, we don't even have a TV to watch it on?"

They both look back to their mouse friend, finding her staring vacantly once again. After a few seconds, and a gentle poke from Rico, she snaps back to attention? "Hm? Oh, that? That's a memory tape."

"I still don't know what that is!" Rico declares, holding it out to her. She grips it, and guides Rico's hands to rest it on the panel she was sitting on.

She begins to explain. "Every passenger has one somewhere on the train. They're made up of your past memories, up until the point at which you board the train."

"Whoa… So somewhere out there is a tape filled with all my memories?" Rico says, considering the possibilities. "Ooh! If we find it, then I can show you guys my room! And my comic book collection, a-and what my mom and dad look like, and-"

"No!" Princess shouts, causing Rico to freeze. Realizing her intensity, she switches to a calmer tone. "Watching your own tape is dangerous. It's safe to watch someone else's, but the contents of your own tape can be too much for some people to deal with. If you aren't careful, you could be consumed by your memories, leaving you an empty shell of a person."

"...That's a s-scary thought." Irvin mutters. "W-Wait, then why did you t-try to win this one?" Irvin asks, picking up Princess' prize.

Princess shrugs. "Like I said, watching someone else's tape is perfectly safe. I figured it would make for an interesting watch if we get some downtime."

"But isn't that a breach of privacy?" Rico points out. "Something about watching someone else's tape without permission feels wrong. Like… if someone watched mine without asking, that would feel weird."

"Let's j-just put it away f-for now." Irvin says, tucking it into his pocket. "It's n-not like we have any way to watch it yet, r-right?"

The other two nod in agreement. Rico picks up Princess and carries her towards some more traditional arcade cabinets. Irvin takes a moment to follow, staring ahead at Princess as he does.

He knows that she's lying about the tape, but he doesn't understand why…

…

Rico is insistent on finding another game that Princess can play. That knocked out a lot of the bigger machines quickly. At Irvin's suggestion, they try some of the arcade cabinets.

"Something like P-Pac-man or Frogger that only u-use one input would be best. I-If they have any." Irvin suggests. A quick sweep of the available games reveals that only one machine meets that criteria.

"R-Remember what I said about the c-claw machine being a scam?" Irvin says.

"Yeah?" Rico replies, staring at the machine in front of them.  
"Well this is even w-worse."

An animated cartoon was playing on the display. None of them recognized it, but Irvin could already tell what type of game it was. A Dragon's Lair clone.

"But-" Before Rico and protest, Irvin quickly shuts him down.

"This type of game c-can only be beaten through trial and error. We d-don't have nearly enough t-tokens to stand a chance. It's n-not worth it."

As cool as the game looked, Rico couldn't deny Irvin's point. He frowns, looking at the other nearby cabinets. "But all of the other games at least use a joystick and a button. This is the only joystick only one."

Princess rubs his shoulder. "Rico dear, I'm flattered that you want me to participate, but please don't feel obligated to find a game for me. You should just enjoy the car while we're here-"

"Oh! Idea!" Rico suddenly announces. "What if I press the buttons _for_ you, and you can move the stick? If it's some kind of shooter, all I have to do is mash anyways."

"That… I suppose that _would_ work." Princess says, leading Rico to run over to the first machine he visited when they first entered. Invaderz, the Galaga clone.

"This one's perfect!" He says, setting Princess down on the control panel. "What do you think? Do you want to try something else?"

The pixel graphics made for a crude representation of actual space combat. Modern technology had come quite far from this, to the point where Irvin and Rico were used to games having detailed 3D environments with high-quality textures. To them, a game like this was quaint.

Princess, meanwhile, had absolutely no context at all when it came to video games. So when she looked at the retro graphics, to her it was fresh and unique.

"I'm fine with this one. Do you know how to play?" She says, taking hold of the joystick to get acquainted with its weight and size.

"You just move f-from left to right to shoot the aliens, while not g-getting hit by them." Irvin explains, inserting a token.

"Is that all? This should be easy." She says. Irvin winces, already seeing where this situation was about to go.

…

_Game Over!_

"One more try! I almost beat that level, I know I can do it!" Princess barks, urging Irvin to load in yet another token.

"Princess… That was level two." Irvin says.

"And if you put in a credit, I might just make it to level _three!_ Hurry up, the counter's going to hit zero!"

He sighs, putting another token in the slot. Her being bad wasn't a surprise, it was her first time after all. What surprised him and Rico was just how quickly she became tilted by the game. Frustration had clouded her judgement, and she couldn't make it past the second level after several attempts.

"Irvin! Take over mashing for me, my fingers are going numb." Rico says, quickly backing away to give the taller man space to slide in. He starts pressing the button with a quick rhythm, about as fast as the spaceship Princess controlled could actually fire.

"Just a f-few more, Princess." Irvin says, hoping that her progress would calm her down. It did not.

"If that one takes my ship again, I will chew through this machine's wiring." She says with an icy tone to her voice. As if she'd jinxed it, her ship gets sucked in by an enemy tractor beam moments later.

Irvin was internally thankful that Princess was too small for her rage to do any real damage. All the mouse could do was scratch up the joystick to vent her frustration.

"One more-!"

"Okay, I th-think that's enough." He finally says, scooping Princess up and dropping her into his chest pocket. "Take a b-breather before you hurt yourself."

He lets out a yelp. "And d-don't bite! That hurts…"

"I didn't take Princess to be the kind of mouse who gets angry at video games." Rico says, chuckling at her violent outburst within the pocket.

"If she w-was any bigger than this, it would honestly b-be worrying." Even as it was Irvin was concerned that she was going to tear through his overalls and scratch up his chest.

…

While Princess was put in time-out to cool off, Irvin and Rico split the remaining tokens to play around. Irvin spent all of his time at One-man (a Pac-man clone featuring the train's conductor One-One being chased around by bugs). Rico, meanwhile, played through a large variety of different games. Between them, they had earned a plentiful amount of tickets, which translated into so many small candies that Irvin's pocket couldn't contain it all.

After making the exchange, their pizza had finished, so the trio sat down to enjoy a meal.

"Did you uthe all of youth?" Rico asks, cheeks stuffed with low-quality pizza. Not that any of them were complaining, as the adage _"all pizza is good pizza"_ stood unchallenged between them.

"I still have t-two left. You can take them if you w-want." Irvin says, before scarfing down a whole slice.

"Of the lessons you two have learned, it's a shame that table manners was the one that never stuck." Princess says with a sigh, looking disappointed with the pair.

Rico swallows his bite, and wipes his mouth with a napkin before speaking again. "Actually, there was one game I really wanted to play with you before we left Irvin."

He raises an eyebrow. "Which one? Most of the t-two player games here just have you t-take turns playing."

"Most do, but not this one…" Rico jumps out of his seat, and strikes a dancing pose. "Dance Dance Revolution! Or whatever it was called here, I think the name was different on the machine..."

Irvin stares down at the pizza in his hand, internally wishing that Rico had brought this up before eating instead of after. "I'm n-not really much of a dancer."

"You don't have to be! You just have to be able to step on tiles to the beat. It's so easy, even my mom can do it, and she hates video games." He takes another slice of pizza, and eats it at a more acceptable pace, to Princess' satisfaction.

"It i-is pretty beginner friendly I guess. I just have t-two left feet."

Rico sets down his slice, reminiscing to himself. "Whenever we come to places like this, it's the only game I can ever get her to play. She's not really good at it either, so she always plays on Easy, but it's one of the few games where she can have fun too."

He takes a sip from his glass of water. "I always liked it because of that. Well, that and the music."

Irvin sighs, but gives Rico a smile. "Alright, I'll p-play." He stands up. "Come on. If I eat any more p-pizza before this, I'll throw up."

Rico hops right out of his seat too. "Princess, could you hold the table for us?" She gives a thumbs up, mouth stuffed with pizza crust.

"Here, the machine was over…" Taking Irvin by the hand, Rico leads the way to the large machine. The design was easy to recognize, having two large dance pads in front of it, speakers on both sides, and a large screen in the middle.

This game was two tokens a player. Irvin fills the slot, causing the speakers to let out a loud chime. He covers his ears, remembering only then that these machines were always just a little too loud for comfort. Rico starts going through the menus the left dance pad.

"Do you think they have any songs we'll recognize?" He asks. Irvin shrugs, uncertain. When the tracklist comes up, their question doesn't really get answered. "...I don't know if I don't know these because it's train original, or if I just don't know them."

"I don't really l-listen to much pop, so…"

They share a look. "Random." They both say at once. The track it ends up picking is one neither of them know, but it has a nice upbeat sound to it at least.

Rico goes for Hard, while Irvin takes Easy like a wimp.

The song starts up, and the notes start coming (considerably more on Rico's side than Irvin's). They share one last look before the first note, smile…

And _fail!_

Rico had greatly overestimated his skill, and can barely keep up with the song. Meanwhile, Irvin had correctly called his own skill level as he nearly trips over his own feet with every other note. So while Rico was throwing his limbs out trying to keep up with an impossible barrage of arrows, Irvin was imploding right by his side on the easiest difficulty. It was like a comedy act, except completely unscripted.

The song comes to a stop halfway through, after Irvin finally falls right off the mat and Rico has to take a knee from exhaustion. A failure screen comes up, and prompts them to put in more tokens to try again.

"Hey, Rico?" Irvin says, picking himself off the floor. "I th-thought you said you p-played this a lot."

Rico takes a few breaths before saying, "Well yeah… But I didn't say I was any good."

They stare at one another, before breaking out in laughter at the stupidity of it all.

"G-Got me there." Irvin admits. "I'm g-going to grab some more pizza before we h-head out. You coming?"

"Sure thing, just give me a second." Rico says, waving Irvin off. As the taller male walks away, Rico stares at the palm of his hand. Instead of a determined smile, he frowns.

He gets up and heads back to the others, feeling worse than he did before checking.

…

Parting with the Children's Pizzaria Car was tough, but Irvin eventually pushes himself through the door. A tear rolls down his cheek as he does, his inner child bellowing at him to stay. Maturity wins out though, and Irvin shuts it right behind him.

"It was the b-best car ever. All d-downhill from here." He mutters to himself.

Surprisingly, Rico didn't seem too upset to leave. The young boy hadn't said much since their game, and had even gone ahead of him when it was time to go. He was standing ahead of Irvin on the bridge, staring down at his hand. Was he upset about it not changing?

"...Irvin?" Rico finally says, turning around to face him with an unreadable expression.

"W-What's up?"

"...My number. I-It's…" He holds it up for Irvin to see.

_1_

A wide smile stretches over Irvin's face at the sight. "That's g-great!" He exclaims. Before he can say more though, he notices Rico's own expression fall.

Before Irvin can even ask, he talks. "I'm happy. Really, I am. I really want to see mom, and dad, and Tyler, and…" He smiles, remembering all of the people he'd be acquainted with once he was back home. "I'm gonna be going home soon."

"Y-Yeah. You will..." Irvin says, still not understanding his hesitation.

"I'm happy, but… I'm going to have to leave you guys to be with them, huh?"

To Irvin, who never fully understood how or why others would care about someone like him, the words Rico had just said hit him in a strange way. He felt touched by Rico's feelings, disgusted that anyone would want to subject themselves to him, and confused about how it happened. Thankfully for him, Rico kept going.

"Even though it was scary, confusing, messy, and really frustrating a lot of times… I really liked going through cars with you two. I hope you liked it too, and didn't just feel like you were babysitting me or something..."

_That_ was something Irvin couldn't let stand. He reaches out and places a hand on Rico's shoulder. The lad de-tenses a little at the comforting touch. "I l-liked it too. And you w-weren't a burden o-or someone we had to babysit, or anything l-like that. You're our friend."

"Well said." Princess says, leaping to Rico's other shoulder. "You were never a detriment to us. There were times when you needed our assistance, and times when _we_ needed to rely on _you._ I believe friendship is the best way to describe such a relationship, wouldn't you agree?"

"Y-You guys… I'm not gonna cry, 'cuz I'm tough, but you're really pushing my invulnerability you know!" Despite his claim, Irvin could see a few tears building up in his mask.

Rico pushes Irvin's hand off, and goes straight in for a hug. Irvin returns it, and pats Princess with his hand to include her in it.

When Rico finally breaks it, he gives Irvin a serious look. "Promise me you're going to get off this train too someday."

"Huh?" Irvin freezes, stunned by the suddenness of the topic.

"We've been here for weeks now, and you _still_ haven't said that you want to go home! If you want to live here with Princess forever, I understand, but… if you want to go home, then say it already! Because _I_ want to see you again someday, and I can't do it if you stay here!"

"I-I…" Ever since the moment he'd started going through cars, Irvin had been struggling to answer that very question. And now, he didn't have any more time to decide. Did he want to leave the train, or not?

It was true that the person he wanted to see most wasn't anywhere anymore, so there wasn't any real motive to return. He had college debt hanging over his head, he was unemployed, he was a leech on his friends and a shame to his entire family…

...Even so.

"I promise." The words came out of his mouth before he even realized what he was saying. And yet, he knew it was the right answer. He tried doing nothing when he first got here, and he couldn't do it. The only reasonable choice left was to do _something_ and hope for the best.

Rico looks up at him, as his lips twist into a small smile. "That's all I wanted. Thank you."

If the sound hadn't alerted them, then the sudden intensity of the light would have. Rico flips his hands around for them to see, as the number reaches its final destination.

**_0_ **

The green light shone brighter than ever before, and it felt like the world shook with the gravity of this single digit.

Actually, wait, that shaking was real. The train itself was coming to a halt. They both had to grab the railings to keep from falling over as it suddenly happened. Princess seemed to anticipate this part, and had a tight grasp of Rico's hat.

"The door is coming!" She shouts. "It looks bad, but it's safe, I promise."

Before he can even wonder about that warning, he sees exactly what she was talking about. From the stormy clouds above them, a tube of orange light twists its way towards them. Even with the warning, he still almost drags Rico back into the pizzeria to hide from it. Every part of his brain screamed that it was a deadly laser.

Princess' warning kept him still though. As she said, the tube stopped right in front of them on the bridge. The end of it took the shape of a doorframe, the same size and shape as the ones that separate cars.

Just like those doors, what was inside looked like an entirely different universe from the wasteland around them. A brick school building surrounded by snow was what they all saw within it.

"I-It's my school." Rico says. "I… I can go home."

Suddenly, he twirls back to Irvin. "Wait, can you guys-"

Princess shuts the idea down by tapping his cheek. "Only the passenger who the exit was created for can leave through it. We cannot follow you."

She motions for Irvin to try, which he does. His hand collides with the doorway, as though a forcefield was in its place. Princess hops over to the taller male's hand, and presses her own against it as well. The same effect, she couldn't go through.

"I guess that would have been too easy." Rico says, sighing. "Maaaaan, what a tease."

Irvin smiles, shrugging with a _what can you do_ expression. They chuckle, before both pausing. Rico just stares at his door, hesitating.

A thought crosses Irvin's mind. "Wait, before you l-leave, can I entrust a _mission_ to you?"

Rico's ears perked up at the very word, so Irvin knew he had him. "When you g-get back, I want you to call someone for me." He pulls the notepad and pen he'd picked up from the Big Blue Beetle car. Before he can tear a page off the back though, Princess stops him.

"You cannot take anything from the train home with you." She quickly explains. Irvin pauses for a moment, thinking.

Irvin takes Rico's hand, and writes a phone number on the palm of it. "My f-friend Terrence. He probably thinks I'm d-dead right now, and I need you to tell him that I'm n-not. Tell him… Irvin will come home. C-Can you do that?"

Rico salutes him. "I promise to call him first chance I get. If the number gets erased when I get back, then I'll search every phone book to find him!"

With military-like discipline, Rico turns back to the portal and marches towards it confidently. As he reaches the very edge, a point at which his body could feel a vacuum pull from the portal, he freezes in place. For the very last time, he turns back to face them.

"...Goodbye you guys."

"...Good luck, Power Boy." Irvin says back.

"I'll never forget you." Princess assures. "No matter what."

He smiles. The innocent, genuine, smile of a kind boy.

And then he fades away, vanishing from sight. Rico Ricardio, Power Boy, had made it off the train.

The train begins moving, the tube of light retracts, and only two are left on the bridge. A passenger and a denizen.

Irvin checks his number.

_332_

"I'm… going to g-get this down to zero." He says, both to himself and Princess. It still felt weird for him to say it, but he would repeat it as many times as he needed for it to sound natural. He couldn't afford to stay. Someone was waiting for him after all.

Princess doesn't respond. She just stares up at the point in the clouds the portal originated, a vacant expression on her face.

Nobody was waiting for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! This has been the hardest chapter to write for me, as I went through two very different ideas that I spent a good chunk of time on before landing on this chapter. As an apology for the delay, I'll give you a bit of a behind-the-scenes look at the two original ideas for this car, and why they didn't work.
> 
> Idea #1: The Hibernation Car - A messy home with a single denizen, a large teddy bear in grief after a recent break-up. The group stays to console the bear, as the time to start hibernating quickly approaches. REASON FOR REJECTION: I hated everything I wrote for it. The ideas I had for this car never really came together quite right, and it felt a little too disconnected from the events that came before and after for my liking. The characters felt off, the car didn't feel fun, and I felt miserable trying to make it work.
> 
> Idea #2: The Peculiar Perspective Car - A large car in which relative perspective influences the way you interact with the world. The group have to solve the mechanics of the car and set things straight to find their exit. REASON FOR REJECTION: Fun idea, but the exact details of how it worked were so complicated that there was no fun way to showcase it in a text story. I finally realized while working on this that I wanted this chapter to be a lot more lighthearted, both to raise the mood from the previous chapter and to make Rico's departure at the end feel weightier. Putting a sad moment at the end of a happy chapter gives it more room to breathe and be sad on its own.
> 
> So that's that. Hopefully the next chapter won't take over a month to make. We're in the final half of the story, so I hope you'll stick with me until the very end!


	7. The Five-Star Resort Car

_“What…?” The girl asks. She knew what her mother had said, but her mind rejected the words._  
  
_“You’re going to have a new baby brother soon.” She says once more, tenderly rubbing her stomach. “Your father and I were just at the doctor’s-”_  
  
_“ **Step** -father.” The girl interrupts. The mother sighs._  
  
_“Yes, your step-father.” The girl turns back to her book, trying to drown out the rest of her mother’s words. As the woman keeps talking however, the young girl can’t stop the anger in her chest from rising. Her hands grip the pages tightly with barely contained fury._  
  
_“In about two months, we’re going to have a new addition to the family. Isn’t that lovely? It’s been so quiet around here ever since Leon went off to college, so hopefully-”_  
  
_“So you’re replacing him?” The girl spits out, unable to hold in the venom._  
  
_“What?” The woman flinches, clearly not used to this behavior. “Of course not-”_  
  
_“Yes you are! You always do this!” She shouts, slamming the table. “You replace everything I care about. Home, school, my friends, dad, and now Leon. Why is nothing ever good enough for you to leave it alone!?”_  
  
_“That’s enough!” The woman shouts. Despite her anger, the girl flinches back at the authoritative tone. “Clio, go to your room. We’ll talk about your attitude later.”_  
  
_Shaking, barely able to hold back tears, Clio stomps off to her bedroom and slams the door behind her. After locking it to prevent pests from getting in, she breaks down and cries on her bed. Her pillow muffles her sobs at first, before another sound drowns them out._  
  
_With eyes stinging, she lifts her head up at the sound of a loud whistle. Before her very eyes, a massive train painted with pastel colors appeared before her in her very own room. She wipes her eyes, confusion overwriting sadness as she stares at the bizarre sight._  
  
_She takes trembling steps, walking right up to it to look inside. A green light overtakes her form, and…_  
  
Princess blinks. The tape had booted her out of the memory, having reached its end. All that played on the screen now was static.  
  
She was left sitting on the comfortable bed of their hotel room, Irvin on the other resting just as soundly as he had been when she started. Quiet, so as not to wake him, she walks to the television and ejects the tape. She drags it back into the drawer Irvin had left it in, and returns to her mattress.  
  
Even after closing her eyes, the scenes she watched replay in her mind until sleep eventually wins out.  
  
...  
  
Irvin awoke to a light thumping on the door. As much as he didn’t want to leave the bed, not answering it would be pretty rude.  
  
Yawning, he slides himself onto the ground and wakes up his legs. Peeking over, he could see Princess still sleeping peacefully, undisturbed by the knocks. Pangs of jealousy cross his mind at the sight.  
  
Oh well, he was already up. With that thought, he walks over and opens the door. On the other side is a holographic waiter, projected from a small metal shell with wheels below it. “Mr. Kemp?” He asks.  
  
“That’s m-me.” Irvin replies. The hologram reaches to his side, and pulls over a small cart of food. Irvin didn’t quite understand the technology on how these people were able to interact with physical items despite being projections, but chose to write it off as more impossible train logic. If a mirror can reflect your idealized self, and animals can talk, then a hologram may as well be able to push a cart.  
  
He steps aside, allowing the waiter to push his cart into the room. “You requested room service and a nine AM wake-up last night. We have pancakes and eggs for the gentleman, and for the lady a small sampling of cheeses and pureed berries.”  
  
“Thank you.” Irvin says. Getting treated this well by staff always felt a little awkward, since it was kindness he wasn’t expected to pay back. Especially not in this car, since everything from their room to their food was provided free of charge.  
  
The waiter carefully sets their dishes on the table, along with silverware and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. He then excuses himself, leaving Irvin alone with the delectable dishes and sleeping beauty.  
  
“Princess? B-Breakfast.” Irvin whispers, gently shaking the mouse awake. She groans, swiping at Irvin’s finger to try and make him stop. His persistence wins out in the end, and she joins Irvin in the world of the conscious. Judging from her vacant expression and sluggish movements, it was obvious that she could use a few more hours of rest.  
  
“...wuzzit…?” She mumbles, her swaying body threatening to fall back down to her pillow.  
  
Irvin sets the smaller plate in front of her. “Are you hungry?”  
  
“...mm” She sniffs the air. Her eyes snap open suddenly. Quickly and with little refinement, she stuffs her face with various types of cheese. More of the berry puree dipping sauce ends up on her face than in her mouth.  
  
Irvin couldn’t help but chuckle. “What h-happened to table manners?”  
  
Without even stopping to swallow, she glances over at him and bluntly answers. “Mn nawt at a tabow.” (Translation: I’m not at a table)  
  
Normally, this would be where Irvin points out the hypocrisy of her talking with food in her mouth. Princess’ face would flush, she would whip up an excuse, and he’d laugh at her antics. But today was different. Irvin instead frowns with disappointment.  
  
It had been a week since Rico had left them, and Princess had been acting… off, ever since then. This was just another example of that. Normally she’d put so much effort into being proper that it seemed perfectly natural. Now, she was shoveling food into her mouth so fast that she resembled an orange cat more than a pink mouse.  
  
Irvin sighs, thinking it unwise to question her while she was exhausted. “R-R-Right. Well, w-when in Rome…”  
  
He takes his plate of pancakes to his bed. They smelled perfect, and the chocolate chips baked inside made him all the more eager to dig in. Following in Princess’ example, he sits down in his bed and starts shoving cakes into his face with little regard for decency. Between bites, he chugs mouthfuls of syrup.  
  
This came far too naturally to him. Princess needed to recover fast, before they both succumbed to the bachelor lifestyle.  
  
Princess had cleared her plate already, and had scuttled off to the bathroom to wash the sauce out of her fur.  
  
“Any plans for today?” Irvin calls out. A faucet turns off, and she comes out rubbing her face with a personally sized towel.  
  
“No.” She unenthusiastically replies. “Are we leaving soon?”  
  
“A-A-Actually, I w-wanted to explore this car a bit more. It’s pretty big.” He reaches over to grab a pamphlet off the nightstand, flipping through it. “I wanted to t-try getting a massage later, since I p-probably never will when I’m off the train. Other than that, I’m n-not really sure. This car has a lot of f-facilities worth visiting. M-Movie theater, indoor water park, gym- th-they even have an arcade! If it’s a-anywhere near as good as the l-last one, this might steal best car.”  
  
“If you say so.”  
  
He brings the pamphlet over to her, forcing her to read it. “Come on, why d-don’t you pick something? I think y-you’ll like it.”  
  
“It’s fine. I’m not in the mood right now-”  
  
“Then pick f-for me. I c-can’t decide on what to do, so just p-pick something that I can do for fun. W-With you there in my pocket of c-course.”  
  
She rolls her eyes, completely aware of what Irvin was trying to do. With a sigh, she reads through the event list. “...The orchestra performance sounds enjoyable. They’ll be playing this afternoon at the theatre.”  
  
Irvin grimaces to himself while she isn’t looking. He wasn’t much of a classical music fan, so he could already feel how bored he was going to be at that show. But since it was the only thing he’d gotten her to choose, he had no choice but to grin and bear it this time.  
  
That didn’t mean he was above trying to make _her_ change her mind. “I was already thinking of heading there later for their showing of,” he rereads the name of whatever was following the orchestra at that location, “ _The Train and You_ by One-one.”  
  
Princess’ face contorts with disgust suddenly. “I would avoid it if I were you. From what I’ve heard, it’s a ‘ _Drawn out cringefest akin to a five year-old trying to rap_ ’. The other accounts I’ve heard were too foul to repeat.”  
  
“That bad?” Okay, maybe the orchestra wouldn’t be too intolerable. Comparatively speaking.  
  
“Worse.” She chuckles, before a yawn cuts her off.  
  
As she fights off the urge to lie back down, Irvin asks, “didn’t s-sleep well?”  
  
“What makes you think that?” It was hard to take that question seriously when she looked as bad as she did.  
  
“I used to b-be a college student. I can recognize the s-signs.”  
  
“Well for your information, I slept perfectly fine last night.” She punctuates that obviously false claim with another yawn.  
  
He raises an eyebrow. “Really?”  
  
“Of course! We’ve never had beds this comfortable, and I’ve slept perfectly well before. So why would last night be any different?”  
  
Her logic made sense, but it didn’t distract Irvin from the obvious falsehood. Even if it made sense for her to sleep well, her face and yawns told a different story.  
  
She had a point though. “Why indeed…?” Irvin mused.  
  
...  
  
MASSAGES. ARE. **AMAZING!**  
  
As the masseuse did her magic on his back, Irvin felt more comfortable than he’d felt at any other point in his entire life. The tension in his body seemed to melt away under her firm but precise touch. His mind fogged, unable to work under the overdose of pleasure being sent through him.  
  
“Is this to your liking?” The woman above him asks, flickering as she speaks. Every worker in this hotel seemed to be a holographic projection, just like the waiter from before.  
  
“Mmmmmmmmmnnnn~” Those aren’t words Irvin. Use your words. “yuss.”  
  
“Then I will continue!” Her hands press into his back, and suddenly he realized that he was in heaven. The lack of clouds or winged angels had him confused at first, but clearly this was heaven.  
  
And yet, after about a half hour, he was told that the massage was finished. Hearing that felt like learning that Santa wasn’t real, magic didn’t exist, and the family dog needed to be put down all at once.  
  
With a heavy heart, he picks himself up onto legs made of jelly, changes back into clothes which had been washed for him during the massage (something _desperately_ needed since they were the only thing he’d worn in the past month), and walks out into the main room. A different employee was waiting for him there, and quickly walks up to Irvin.  
  
“Ah, excuse me? Your friend, she…” He holds out his hands, revealing Princess to be sleeping in them. “She only lasted three minutes, and she’s been like this since then. Do you want me to take her back to your room?”  
  
He shakes his head and holds out a hand. The masseuse slides her into it, before Irvin tucks her into his front pocket. “Thank y-you. She’ll b-be fine, she just didn’t sleep well l-last night.”  
  
He walks out, wondering what to do next. Sure, there was plenty left to explore, but it felt wrong to look around without Princess. After all… They hadn’t talked about it yet, but this was it, wasn’t it?  
  
The whole reason Princess had joined him in the first place was to find the car of her dreams. She’s still kind of out of things right now (not just because she’s asleep), but as far as Irvin could tell this car met all of the qualifications. Employees serving on holographic hand and foot, high class atmosphere, basically all of the finer things in life you could ask for… This was the car she’d been dreaming about from the moment he’d met her.  
  
But right now, she was so bummed out about Rico leaving that she hadn’t even realized they were standing in the middle of paradise. He couldn’t leave things like that.  
  
Don’t get him wrong, Irvin loved traveling with her. Princess is his friend, and he wants to do right by her. Even if it meant he’d be on his own after this car...  
  
A tired mouse wasn’t going to appreciate anything, so waking her up now wouldn’t help things. So the best thing he could do now is...  
  
…  
  
Princess pokes her head out of Irvin’s pocket, an air of refreshment about her. She looks around, trying to get a grasp of their location.  
  
“It’s the theatre.”  
  
She looks up to see Irvin sitting down with the most bored expression she’d ever seen. “I f-figured you’d want to catch the show w-when you woke up, so I came here early.”  
  
“The show was at noon Irvin. How early are we?”  
  
“Well, I c-came here a little after leaving that massage parlor, s-so… About two hours.”  
  
“...Was there at least anything scheduled before the performance?”  
  
“No.”  
  
She runs a hand down her face. “Do I even want to know _why_ you’ve subjected yourself to a torturous wait in a car filled with so many other things to do?”  
  
He laughs. “You won’t l-like the reason.”  
  
“I know. Please just say it so that I can be disappointed.”  
  
“I d-didn’t want to check anything e-else out without you.”  
  
Both of her hands were on her face now. “Darn it… That’s sweet, but darn it Irvin! Don’t do that to yourself.”  
  
“A few hours t-too late on that advice…” He says with a weak chuckle.  
  
She lets the topic drop for a moment, as she gazes around the room. Many of the other seats were taken by denizens. Some of them being ones they’d met before. The foolish giraffe from The Big Blue Beetle Car, a queen and pawn couple they’d seen at The Comic Car, and a group of kids from The Grade School Car stood out to her. The room was rather packed.  
  
“How long until the show begins?” She asks. Irvin doesn’t have to answer, as the lights in the room begin to dim. It was starting…  
  
A holographic man dressed in a suit takes center stage with a large curtain behind him. After the complete lack of stimulation that encompassed his past few hours, Irvin was a little excited for the musical performance he previously loathed.  
  
“I have an unfortunate announcement!” The man begins. “Due to recent complications, the band scheduled to perform today has not arrived at this time.”  
  
A murmur sweeps the room. The man on stage goes. “To make up for this misfortune, our actors have agreed to put on an extra performance of _The Train and You_ at this time slot, which we will now be moving forward with. We hope that this substitution makes up for the inconvenience.”  
  
He feels Princess grab his shirt with both hands. “Irvin, run.” She immediately says, taking on a serious tone. “Get up and leave.”  
  
“...I-Is it really that bad?” Irvin asks, somewhat hesitant to leave a show he just waited _two hours_ for.  
  
As the curtains start to be drawn open, she grabs his cheeks and stares straight into his eyes. He sees the fear in her expression, as a techno beat starts to come from the stage.  
  
Surely… Surely it wasn’t _that_ bad… Right?  
  
“YO YO YOOOOOOO! WE TALKIN’ TRAINS AND TRAIN ADJACENT TOPICS!”  
  
Irvin leaves his seat and bolts for the door with a haste found only in those fleeing for their lives.  
  
…  
  
Following that horrible incident, Irvin had retreated to the lobby. He had run until his ears couldn’t pick up even the slightest hint of that “music”. What little he had heard felt like poison in his mind. He wasn’t a drinker, but he was very tempted to start in an attempt to destroy every brain cell that was involved in remembering that.  
  
“You w-were right, that sounded _terrible._ ”  
  
“I didn’t doubt the accounts I heard, but it’s good to have confirmation.” She says, sighing. “Why don’t we just collect our things and leave? I think I’ve seen enough of this car.”  
  
“Huh? But we haven’t even seen half of th-this place yet.”  
  
“So? The door is unlocked, isn’t it?” She was right about that. Both the entrance and exit doors were easy to locate, and neither were locked off. They could leave whenever they wanted. The problem was: Princess shouldn’t want to leave at all!  
  
“Well y-yeah… I just think we s-should try to look around a little more. Try some more fun things b-before the next car throws something boring at us, like stamp collecting.”  
  
“Danger would be my top concern. But fine. Whatever makes you happy. You’re the passenger.”  
  
“Does… that m-matter?” Irvin asks. It was strange to hear Princess bring it up like that. Other denizens mention it all the time, usually either to toss him responsibility or give him benefits, but Princess didn’t mention it often. Especially not like that.  
  
She doesn’t respond. Much as he wanted to question her, he drops the issue. Arguing with Princess wasn’t going to fix things. Showing her a good time might.  
  
Visiting the arcade would be ill-advised. This all started after they left Rico at The Arcade Car. Needless to say, it would be rubbing salt in the wound. Instead, he decides that the indoor waterpark was their best option. Last time they all visited a beach car together, he remembers her having a good time.  
  
One problem, Irvin couldn’t remember where it was. The solution was obvious though. They were right in the front lobby, so he could just ask the man sitting at the front desk.  
  
There wasn’t a line to reach him, thankfully. Perhaps every other guest in the car was sitting through that abomination in the theatre? Irvin wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he walks straight up. “C-Could you tell me which way the waterpark is?”  
  
“Oh that? Just down the hall, make a left, then a right, take the elevator down, and you’re there!” The attendant says, pointing down a hallway. “Here, I have a few maps I can show you on, just a minute…”  
  
The holographic attendant starts digging around underneath his desk. Irvin thinks about starting up a conversation with Princess, but he wasn’t even sure what to say with how she’d been acting. Like, what was even a good topic right now? Probably nothing about Rico or her, but generic small talk felt wrong too. Was he thinking about this too hard? Yes, absolutely, but even realizing that he was thinking too hard about it didn’t fix anything because he was stuck in a loop-  
  
His thoughts are cut off when he glances to his left and notices a cat staring at him in deep contemplation on the desk. Its fur was beige, and it wore a deep purple suit jacket with black accents and bowtie. Between the distinct outfit and its thoughtful expression, Irvin mentally prepared himself for it to start talking.  
  
Sure enough, it speaks up with a rather sophisticated feminine voice. “ _Pardon moi,_ but have we met in the past? There’s something familiar about you that I can’t seem to place.”  
  
That wasn’t at all what Irvin thought she was going to ask. Not that he knew what to expect, but certainly not that. “No, I d-don’t think so.”  
  
“Got it!” The clerk interrupts, popping up with a pamphlet in hand. He circles part of the map before handing it off to Irvin.  
  
The cat walks along the desk, while Irvin thanks the clerk. She tilts her head, inspecting him from other angles. “ _Inhabituelle…_ I’m usually quite skilled at remembering names and faces, and yet I can’t remember meeting someone like you before. Why do you suppose that is?”  
  
“Um…” He wasn’t sure what to say to that. He went with nothing.  
  
“Hmm.” The cat frowns, jumping to the floor and circling Irvin. Her eyes squint, examining every detail for some clue as to what the meaning of her mistake could be. After a few sweeps, she sighs and admits defeat. “I suppose it’s nothing. With so many passengers coming aboard every day, one or two are bound to look alike after a while.”  
  
“Oh. O-Okay…” He rubs the back of his neck, not knowing where to go from there.  
  
His pocket suddenly starts shifting. The cat pauses, staring at it. She leans back as soon as Princess sticks her head out, the two staring at each other.  
  
“Cat?” Princess whispers under her breath. “The Cat!” She leaps right out of his pocket to join her on the floor.  
  
The feline was similarly ecstatic. “ _La Souris!_ Color me surprised. I didn’t expect to see you here. Though the atmosphere does suit you.”  
  
Princess hops right onto the cat’s head, giving Irvin a mild heart attack. Classic cartoons like Tom and Jerry gave him a very different impression of how well these two species got along. The cat lets her land safely though, not complaining at all. No attempts to eat her, she even bowed her head a bit to make it a shorter leap.  
  
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew what they were using their theatre for right now.” She says.  
  
The cat laughs. “I heard the band was running late. Quite the unfortunate substitution they’ve made though.”  
  
“Unfortunate is a kinder word than I would use.” Princess adds to both of their delight. “How have you been? Partaken in any interesting ventures recently?”  
  
“Naturally. In fact, I think you would find my current business particularly entertaining.” She looks like she’s about to start telling a story, but pauses. She looks up at Irvin, examining the man once again. “But what about you? I see you’ve made a new friend. Who is this…”  
  
She makes a face like someone who wanted to say something nice, but saw nothing to compliment. Irvin completely felt for her, knowing that he lacked positives worth mentioning.  
  
“...rather tall fellow.” Is what she settles on.  
  
Princess gives him a look, silently nudging him to introduce himself. “Uh, h-hi there. My name’s Irvin.”  
  
He takes a knee and sticks a hand out. The cat places a paw into it. “Irvin?” She repeats, giving him a curious stare once more. “Even the name... Are you sure we haven’t met before?”  
  
Irvin shakes his head. “S-Sorry, I don’t know w-what it could be. I’ve never met you before. W-Who are you- I mean, what’s y-your name.”  
  
Princess climbs up Irvin’s arm to his shoulder. “Irvin, this is The Cat.”  
  
“ _The_ Cat? L-Like, the ‘The’ is part of the name?” Irvin asks.  
  
The Cat breaks the hand/paw shake and answers him. “Why yes. Though I suppose you could shorten it to just _Cat_ if you simply must, but I quite prefer the full title. It has a rather… exclusive feel to it.”  
  
“You _could_ just let people use your real name.” Princess points out, much to the cat’s (or, The Cat’s?) displeasure. The old kitten’s face scrunches up with disgust at the implication alone. “Ah, I see you still aren’t a fan of it?”  
  
“My feelings are completely justified, so there’s no reason for them to change.” The Cat insists, crossing her front legs.  
  
The way they talked to each other made it pretty clear, but Irvin asked anyways. “Y-You two are friends?”  
  
“We go back quite some time.” Princess says. “She and I are actually from the same train car.”  
  
His immediate thought is the Barnyard Car where he and Princess met. He then throws that thought away, remembering what she’d said back at the Comic Car. It was where Irvin met her, but that wasn’t where she came from.  
  
“How about you two? I see your number is at,” The Cat leans over, peeking at Irvin’s hand, “325. How long have the two of you been together for?”  
  
“A little over a month. P-Princess was in my first car, s-so she was with me the entire time.”  
  
“Ah, _depuis le début._ How nice it must have been to have a companion from the start.”  
  
“Y-Yeah…” Irvin mutters. “She’s pretty much the o-only reason I left the pod.”  
  
She pauses at that. “I see…” Her attention turns to Princess, still sat on his shoulder. “Tell me, whatever happened to that last boy? Did he find his exit?”  
  
Princess freezes, while Irvin confusedly replies for her. “Huh? Yeah, he g-got his door about a week ago. How did you know about th-that? We never met you w-while Rico was with us.”  
  
“Rico?” Now The Cat’s face matched Irvin’s, both shooting looks of confusion. Why was she surprised at the name, she was the one who brought him up.  
  
Before Irvin can question it, Princess cuts in. “He’s not here anymore.” She says, before quickly clarifying, “he went home.”  
  
The Cat narrows her eyes at the mouse for a moment, before shaking her head. Whatever questions she had seemed to be answered, leaving Irvin the only one still puzzled by the interaction. “Ah, how fortunate for him. Not all who come aboard the train are destined to return, so those who do should count their blessings.”  
  
Giving the two of them one last look, The Cat turns around and heads for the door. “It’s been a lovely chat, but I think it’s about time that I depart. Don’t worry, I believe we’ll meet again _very soon._ ”  
  
Irvin wasn’t sure if that was reassuring or ominous with how she said it.  
  
The Cat leaps at the door, and catches the handle with her paws. It opens for her. She gives a courteous bow to the pair before walking out.  
  
Princess lets out a content sigh. “It’s always nice to catch up with her. A shame our meetings are as spontaneous as they often are short.”  
  
“This is where c-cell phones would probably come in handy.” Irvin says. “By the way, what was she talking about before-”  
  
“Forget about that.” She says. The tone is casual, yet it feels like a direct order coming from her. “Weren’t you saying we should check out the waterpark?”  
  
“I thought you didn’t c-care about it?”  
  
“Well…” She looks away, but Irvin still catches her smile. “My mood’s picked up a little.”  
  
Irvin was grinning with her at that. This was where the fun would begin!  
  
…  
  
This was where Irvin would _die!_  
  
“Why d-d-did I let you t-talk me into th-this?” Was he stuttering more than usual? That was probably because he was staring down his _imminent demise._  
  
“Because my judgement is always right.” She jokes, far more casually than one facing their death should. “Besides, the waterpark was your idea, wasn’t it? Didn’t you plan to go down a few slides?”  
  
“Th-This isn’t a s-s-slide! I-It’s death! Certain death!”  
  
Every big waterpark had that one slide. The one that was too tall, too steep, and too scary for any sane person to ever go down. Usually it was just a straight shot, because why bother with the pretense of fun when the goal of the slide is clearly just to kill anyone dumb enough to go down it?  
  
The slide Irvin and Princess were about to go down was that slide, except steeper. It was less a slide than it was a vertical drop with water at the bottom.  
  
“Annnnd clear!” The lifeguard calls out, waving for them to go. Irvin’s hands stayed firmly gripped to the sides, fear paralyzing him.  
  
“Come now, Irvin. We’ve seen countless people ride this already and come away just fine. What makes you think that you’ll be the exception?”  
  
“I w-won’t fall for your logic! I can s-see the grim r-reaper waiting for us down there!”  
  
“I’m sure that denizen is perfectly friendly, despite his skeletal appearance. It’s rude to judge, Irvin.”  
  
…  
  
Defying all odds, Irvin survived. He threw up in a trash can afterwards, but he _did_ survive. Technically. Mentally, it felt like he never came back from that slide.  
  
Since he’d emptied his stomach, the buffet seemed like the best place to stop next. Though after breakfast, he was a little disappointed at the thought. Breakfast was so good, but buffet food was usually cheap and left to sit out for long periods to cut costs. You were paying for a lot of food, not a lot of good food.  
  
The smells that hit them when he opened the door made him regret ever doubting this car. As if they would skimp on anything for even a moment.  
  
“Hey, Princess?”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“D-Do you think this train is t-turning me into a glutton? I mean, since there are sometimes l-long stretches where we don’t find anything to eat, I know I tend to take a little more than u-usual when we finally do get a meal. But I’m not g-going overboard, r-right?”  
  
She has to lean over to meet his eyes, the immense pile of food on his plate blocking her view.  
  
“No, not at all.”  
  
…  
  
Irvin felt ready to lie down after his perfectly reasonably sized meal, but Princess still wanted to look around. They compromised, and agreed to check out the movie theater.  
  
Of course, choosing to watch a movie still left one important question to be argued. What genre? It was the classic debate. Choose poorly, and your evening is ruined. The debates that arise out of this topic could be fierce, brutal, and at times desperate. Nobody is willing to back down in a battle of how the next 90 minutes of their lives would be spent.  
  
“Irvin dear, why don’t we check out a romantic comedy?”  
  
“Yeah, okay.”  
  
...If you just so happen to agree though, then that resolves things rather nicely, doesn’t it?  
  
…  
  
Walking out of the theater, you and Princess gab about the film.  
  
“I wouldn’t have thought those two would get together in the end.” Princess admits. “They just seemed too different for a relationship to work.”  
  
“I s-saw it coming. It’s k-kind of a cliche for movies like this.”  
  
“Really? I haven’t seen very many, so I wouldn’t know.”  
  
“Yeah. 9 out of 8 times, the m-main guy and the main w-woman will get together, no matter what.” He explains. Even with his math-defying estimate, he felt like he was underselling how common it was.  
  
“Hm. Well that must make other movies of the genre rather predictable, wouldn’t it?”  
  
“Absolutely. Movies like th-this are like junk food. You know w-what you’re getting, it isn’t g-great, but it’s comfortable.”  
  
“Please, don’t ruin this for me by comparing the whole genre to something as common as that.”  
  
He chuckles. The conversation hits an awkward pause, as Irvin loses himself in thought. Sensing his contemplation, Princess doesn’t interrupt. She watches with rapt interest as Irvin’s eyes shift around, an inner struggle taking place. He slaps his hands over his cheeks, reaching a conclusion.  
  
“Hey, P-Princess?” He pulls her out of his pocket and holds his hand out, positioning her so that they could see one another clearly.  
  
“What is on your mind, Irvin dear?”  
  
“...Do you like this car?” It was a simple question, but there was a hidden weight to it. Princess takes a moment to think before answering.  
  
“Honestly? I think you were right earlier when you said it was the best we’d come through. Good food, lovely atmosphere, plentiful entertainment options, and a tireless staff all for free? It’s almost too good to be true. To be honest, I almost expected us to find some rather troubling skeletons in our room’s closet to balance out all the wonderful things we’ve seen.”  
  
“So, y-you like it?” He asks again, clarifying.  
  
“Well, if I was going to ditch you _anywhere…_ ” She jokes. Irvin doesn’t laugh.  
  
“Wasn’t that the plan?” His voice isn’t angry or upset. It’s perfectly neutral. It’s less a question than him restating a fact. “You came with me t-to find your perfect car.”  
  
Princess’ eyes widen, as she finally realizes what Irvin was telling her. “...I can’t h-help but think that _this_ is what y-you were looking for.”  
  
“...Princess, d-do you want to stay here?”  
  
The question hangs in the air between them. Irvin had shut his eyes, unsure of what she would think. Slowly, he opens them…  
  
Her expression was stone cold. A perfect poker face.  
  
She chuckles. It’s forced.  
  
“If you wanted to be rid of me that badly, you should have just said so.” She replies, climbing down to the ground.  
  
“I d-don’t! I just...”  
  
She was walking away from him as she continued. “It’s fine.” As she speaks, she doesn’t even turn back to look at him. “You don’t have to explain it, I understand. You promised Rico that you would see him again, didn’t you? That you would get off the train, and meet up with him on Earth, and I would always stay here. Like you said, that was always the plan. It’s not like I’m surprised.”  
  
“D-Do you not… I don’t w-want to abandon y-you, it’s j-j-just-”  
  
“It’s fine.” No it wasn’t.  
  
“You can leave. Everyone does sooner or later.”  
  
As she rounds the corner, she bolts away towards a closing elevator, jumping in at the last second. Irvin tries to catch up, but slams into the closed doors.  
  
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. There was no way he could leave it like this!  
  
Watching the number above the elevator go up, Irvin runs up the stairwell to try and catch up with it. This car was massive, so if Princess really wanted to get away from him, she could. But somehow, he knew exactly where she was going already.  
  
…  
  
_“It’ll be a 12 hour drive, not counting lunch breaks. I’ll call you when I get there mom.” Leon says, closing the trunk of his car. He doesn’t even make it back to the doorway before Clio has her arms around him. She doesn’t say anything, but he understands what she wants to hear._  
  
_He crouches down and reciprocates. “Hey, don’t worry sis. Swear on my life, I’ll call you twice a week bare minimum. You’ll barely notice I’m gone with how much I’ll be gabbing in your ears. Heck, you’ll probably get sick of me before you miss me.”_  
  
_She laughs, and wipes her eyes before breaking the hug. Their mom goes in for the hug and cheek kiss, and then… he gets in the car and leaves._  
  
_He waves to them as far as they can see, but once he rounds the corner, it finally hits her that her older brother isn’t there anymore. And even though her mom was right next to her… she felt like she was alone._  
  
The world turns to static, as the tape skips ahead.  
  
_“What…?” The girl asks. She knew what her mother had said, but her mind rejected the words._  
  
_“You’re going to have a new baby brother soon.” She says once more, tenderly rubbing her stomach. “Your father and I were just-”_  
  
“Princess?”  
  
The mouse whips her head around to see Irvin. The male was stealing glances all around him, confusion written all over his face.  
  
“What is… I w-was just in the hotel room looking for you, a-and you weren’t talking, you were just staring at the screen. S-So I looked at it, and…”  
  
He glances around, clearly not used to being here. With some hesitation, he walks forward and tries to touch the young girl as she gets into a spat with her mother. The tape hadn’t paused for them, the scene playing out just as it had before. Irvin’s hand goes straight through Clio’s head, revealing static within. He recoils back, the hole he stuck his hand in filling up like a weird amorphous liquid.  
  
“This is th-that tape…” He turns to Princess. “Clio Teresi?”  
  
“She was my first.” The mouse quietly replies, tucking her legs into herself. Fresh tear marks stained her face. Despite her standoffish body language, she looks at Irvin with pleading eyes.  
  
Realization dawns on his face. “Your first… p-passenger?”  
  
She nods. Irvin walks up to her side and sits down, the two of them watching events play out as they had one her first viewing. Clio runs off to her bedroom, the scene changing to there. As she cries, the train appears and whisks her away. And just like that.  
  
It ends. They’re both snapped back to reality, Princess sat on the bed and Irvin standing off to the side. He rubs his temples, feeling slightly nauseous and disoriented.  
  
“I-I don’t understand.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
  
Swallowing up any lingering feelings of illness, he sits down next to her on the bed. “Yes it d-does. Because… it matters t-to you, and... you m-matter to me.” She frowns, so Irvin adds, “I wasn’t trying to get rid of you. I j-just want you to be happy.”  
  
A weary sigh escapes her. “I know. You mean well, it’s just… I know this is how it works, but it never gets any easier. I always get invested, so it always hurts.”  
  
Irvin’s face twists with guilt. “Princess…” He sighs, staring down at the ground. ”Sorry. I know I s-should understand, but I d-don’t. I’m too much of an o-oblivious idiot to put all the pieces together. I won’t understand until you t-tell me.”  
  
Princess sighs, shaking her head. “You aren’t a fool. It’s my fault for never telling you...” She pauses, looking up at him. “Fine. Scooch back a bit.”  
  
As Irvin adjusts his position, Princess gets off to eject the tape. Dragging it over, she sets it in the middle of the bed between you. After a minute of thought, she begins to speak.  
  
“Clio was the very first passenger I ever met.” She smiles to herself, a warm nostalgic smile that told Irvin more about how she felt about the girl than her words could convey. “We met in The Garden Car. She had to give a name to every animal in there to unlock the door. Before her, I didn’t even know there _were_ passengers. I didn’t even have my own name. I was just… The Mouse.”  
  
“So, she g-gave you the name _Princess?_ ” Irvin asks.  
  
“And so much more… She showed me the world. She let me come with her, and let me experience so many things I had never even dreamed of. Things I couldn’t comprehend. My world was expanded so much that the garden seemed so much smaller in comparison.”  
  
Irvin couldn’t relate. He was so used to the world being so much bigger than he was, so much so that he couldn’t even imagine thinking any one car he’d seen was all there was. It was a totally alien experience.  
  
“That tape makes her look bad, but that was just a rough period for her. She was a wonderful child, you would have adored her. And she was only ten, so Rico could have gotten along with her perfectly well. Not that an age gap stopped the two of you from bonding.” Her warm chuckle put a smile on his face. When her face fell, Irvin’s did as well.  
  
“We were going to leave together.”  
  
He grimaces, remembering Rico’s departure on the bridge. He knew how this story ended.  
  
“...We didn’t know. She tried to carry me through, and I… was alone. In a car I couldn’t leave by myself.”  
  
A low chuckle. “That’s always how it ends. Every passenger I befriend, everyone I ever get close to… They always leave. And when they do, I’m as trapped as when I was still in that stupid garden. Except now I’m not blissfully ignorant.”  
  
She tries to give Irvin a pointed glare, but she can’t muster the anger. “Do you still think that you’re useless? Incapable? That you can’t do anything? Do you have any idea what that _really_ feels like? To know that no matter how much you try, you physically cannot change your circumstances.” She holds out her hand, void of any number. “I will _never_ get to leave this train, Irvin. And this train will never change to accommodate me. The train doesn’t care about me, because I’m not a passenger. I’m just… a mouse that got too far from home.”  
  
Staring at the palm of her hand, she quietly tells him, “I would give anything for the life you would throw away in an instant.”  
  
Irvin lowers his head. The worst part was, he’d have given it to her if he could.  
  
An overwhelming feeling of shame washes over him, as every careless comment he’d made appears in his mind. Like hundreds of wasps stinging at once, Irvin was suddenly painfully aware of just how often he surrendered before even trying.  
  
_“My current p-plan is just to lie down here forever until I die. You’re k-kind of interrupting it.”_  
  
_“...So... I-I decided it wasn’t worth going through it all again just to f-fail.”_  
  
_“B-But, I didn’t want to come back. At least the other-”_  
  
_“...a l-loser like me was always bound to end up here.”_  
  
_“I’m sorry that I’m still alive, when she isn’t.”_  
  
...Had he always been this pathetic? He knew he wasn’t great at anything, but when did he give up on even trying?  
  
“Princess… I d-don’t know what to say.” What could he? What would make her feel any better about the terrible hand this train dealt her?  
  
_“I’ll stay here with you, so that you won’t be alone.” “We’ll find a way for you to get off this train together.”_ Many ideas swirl through Irvin’s mind at once, each giving an easy answer. Honeyed words that soothe the wounds, and convince her that everything will be okay.  
  
In the end though, the only thing that feels right is to tell the truth.  
  
“I’m g-going to leave this train.”  
  
It was cruel, a twist of the knife. But he had to say it, not just for her but for him. He couldn’t afford to compromise on this point. Not for a single moment. Even if it meant hurting someone he cared about, he _needed_ to go home. He made a promise.  
  
That didn’t make it suck any less though. He clenches his fists, as he forces himself to keep going. “I’m sorry. I c-can’t fix this. I don’t want t-to leave you, but… I can’t stay. I-I’m sorry.”  
  
With a resigned expression, Princess lets out a small sigh. For some reason, she almost seemed… relieved. “I know you will. I wouldn’t want you to stay anyways, not if it meant breaking your promise to Rico.”  
  
He takes a minute to think before speaking again. “...I won’t forget about you.”  
  
“Hm?” She raises an eyebrow, unsure of where he’s going with it.  
  
“You’re g-going to feel terrible when I’m gone. I promise to feel awful t-too. I guarantee it. F-For the rest of my life, I’ll carry a-around an ache in my heart that I can’t b-be with you.”  
  
She shakes her head, weakly chuckling. “Irvin dear, please don’t force yourself to suffer on my behalf.”  
  
“I’m not forcing a-anything. This is just how I feel.” Irvin says. “I c-can’t do anything about you being trapped here. The m-most I can do is let you choose w-where I’ll leave you. If I can do more, I w-will, but…” He shakes his head. Focus on what you can do. “If nothing else, I p-promise not to take your companionship lightly. ‘Til the d-day I die, I promise that I will miss you. No m-matter how much my life improves, and how happy I f-feel, I’ll never let the pain of you not being with me leave. That’s th-the price I’m willing to pay for your friendship.”  
  
“S-So… Even when I’m g-gone, we’ll still... be friends……”  
  
Irvin buries his face in his hands as his words catch up to him. It felt like he was saying something really cool at first, but now he realizes that what he just said was the lamest thing ever. Princess just poured her heart out to him, and he responded with this drivel. He wanted to curl up in a hole and die right there.  
  
“...Sorry, th-that was terrible. P-Please pretend I d-didn’t say-”  
  
He pulls his hands away just enough to see the look on her face. Princess was sniffling, letting tears freely roll down the sides of her face.  
  
“Irvin y-y-you… *sniff* you silly *sniff* bh- _BAAAAAAH!_ ” Now she was straight up ugly crying.  
  
Shaken from his shame, Irvin scoops Princess into his hands and presses her into his chest. Whatever he was trying to say, it had gotten through to her. Seeing her like this… that got to him. Soon enough they were both in tears.  
  
He couldn’t save her from the train. But he could at least share the loneliness.  
  
...  
  
“I w-won’t make you stay if you don’t want t-to, but… Are you s-sure?”  
  
“I am.” She doesn’t even hesitate. “This car is great, but I want to see your journey through.”  
  
He smiles, gently rubbing her head. “Well, I w-want you to be here with me, s-so I guess that works for both of us.”  
  
Alright, no more standing around, if they didn’t leave now that buffet would tempt Irvin to stick around for at least another hour. He opens the exit, and they step out onto the bridge. The wasteland surrounds them as usual, taunting Irvin with the usual questions. Where is this, why is any of this here, all of that. They were definitely worth asking, but he’d gotten enough answers for one day.  
  
“So, c-can I just ask,” Irvin starts, “when you told me that you d-didn’t know how these numbers worked, that was a l-lie, right? Why hide that?”  
  
He holds up his hand to demonstrate, showing the digits which had changed after their talk.  
  
_299_  
  
“Oh, that…” Princess allows the barest trace of a nervous laugh to leave her, before quenching it. “It’s Linus’ fault.”  
  
“W-Who?”  
  
“My last passenger.” She blinks, realization appearing in her eyes. “Oh, he was the one that The Cat was talking about earlier, not Rico. The boy who went home.”  
  
Irvin had honestly forgotten about that until Princess brought it up, but it still felt good to get a clearer explanation.  
  
“You would have loved him, he was a math savant. Excellent with numbers, but he had a lot of trouble understanding other people. Frankly, you would have appeared socially acceptable next to him.”  
  
That was a very chilling thought. He was getting goosebumps just imagining how badly someone else could act to make him look good.  
  
“When I first met him, I told him exactly what the numbers were for. Because of that, I spent a full month with him calculating a logic chart for how the train raised and lowered numbers. He was basically trying to calculate morality itself.”  
  
“I mean… The t-train kind of has to do that, d-doesn’t it?”  
  
Princess shrugs. “Yes? I don’t honestly know, but that month of watching him take data and write theoretical formulas was miserable. No offense, but if there was even a one percent chance you would have subjected me to that, it was too much of a risk. Never again...”  
  
“I p-probably wasn’t motivated enough at the s-start to dedicate a whole month to solving morality math.” He mutters, pouting in mock indignation. A sly grin creeps its way onto his face. “Though n-now that I’m feeling a little better…”  
  
“Don’t you dare even joke. I will swan dive into the wheels if you even consider it.”  
  
They both laugh the idea off, agreeing never to venture down that path. When they reach the door, they ready themselves for anything. There was an infinite array of possibilities on what could be waiting, and they felt ready to face every possible outcome. After a shared look, Irvin pushes it open.  
  
They would both agree that neither of them considered _this._  
  
“Our two latest competitors have arrived!” A familiar voice announces. Out of the shadows, The Cat steps out with a small mic taped to her jacket. Her ensemble now included a stunning top hat, with holes for her ears to poke out. “This lovely pair will be playing for fabulous prizes, right here on:”  
  
The room lights up, revealing a large nautical themed game show set. Despite no audience being present, a pre-recorded voice shouts the show’s title from the speakers.  
  
“COMPANION SHIP!”  
  
“...Huh?”


	8. The Game Show Car

"I n-never really know what to expect from these cars, but somehow that still m-managed to catch me off guard." Irvin admits.

After the introduction, The Cat had taken the two of them backstage. They were now in a well-furnished dressing room. Irvin occupied the couch, Princess occupied Irvin, and The Cat was touching up her make-up in the vanity mirror.

"I could have told you back at the resort, but the reveal is part of the fun."

"I don't mind the surprise, as long as it's a pleasant one." Princess says, taking a cautious tone. "You don't intend to have us debase ourselves for cheap novelties, do you?"

"My my, does that sound like something I would do?"

She levels The Cat a flat look. "I seem to recall The Obstacle Course Car having a similar introduction to this one."

The Cat looks away, indignantly. "That was a different kind of game. And I was _very_ upfront about what you would be getting yourselves into. Trust me, I have no intention of surprising you with something so unpleasant."

"Um… If y-you don't want to play, P-Princess, we could always just leave." Irvin mentions. The exit door wasn't hidden at all in this car, built into the wall just opposite the main stage. It was only at the feline host's insistence that they stayed.

Princess shoots another warning glare at The Cat, before her smile breaks the act. "It's fine, Irvin. The Cat knows me well-enough to not invite me to a game I'd hate. Whatever this is, I doubt it will be physically exhausting or messy."

The Cat laughs. " _Ne t'inquiètes pas,_ there won't be anything of that sort here."

"That's good. I'm not really a f-fan of that stuff either. So, what exactly i-is this game?" Irvin asks. The beige-furred feline grins, adjusting her bowtie.

"I don't want to spoil too much, however… _Companion Ship_ is a game of bonds."

"Well yeah, the name kind of gave that a-away." He mutters. "I mean, like, what w-will we be doing? Is it like, trivia or something l-like that?"

She tuts. "No more hints." He sighs. Oh well, they already seemed set on playing anyways. Not like knowing now would change anything.

There's a knock on the door. A bear dressed in a dark suit and hat and wearing sunglasses walks into the room, and sets two sheets of paper down on the coffee table. " _Merci_ Frank." The Cat says as he leaves. She jumps off the armrest to the table, and places a paw on both pages.

"Before you can go on set, we'll need you to fill out these forms." Irvin takes one of the pages and scans the fields on it while she talks.

"Name, age, n-number, hobbies, occupation…" He pauses, squinting down at the page. "What are you best at?"

"Curious?" She asks. He nods. "We tailor the game to your specialties. Just be honest, and write out what you feel the most confident with. Language, baking, custodial duties, whatever you want."

Irvin doesn't question further, quickly filling in his own sheet. Princess is only slower with hers because the pencil is too big for her. Once they hand them over, The Cat flips through them curiously.

"Let's see… Ah, I suppose I could have filled yours in myself, Princess. These are the answers I would have expected…"

Her eyes narrow at something on Irvin's page. She stares at it silently, then looks up at Irvin. Her eyes flicker between the two, before she finally asks.

"Irvin Kemp?"

"That's… my name." He says. Why did she feel the need to bring it up?

She gives him an appraising look, focusing mostly on his face. After a few more moments, something flashes in her eyes. Excitedly, she meows. " _Ils se ressemblent tellement._ "

"H-Huh?"

She pauses, considering something. "Nothing to worry yourself over. I just finally found the answer I was looking for."

He and Princess share a look as she walks out with their forms. Whatever she'd just realized, neither of them had a clue what it could be.

…

They both stood at separate podiums in front of a backdrop of a ship sailing across the sea. The set decorations really leaned into the "ship" part of Companion Ship. Even their podiums looked like they were made out of wooden planks, with buoy life rings and fishing nets attached. Both of them had a whiteboard and marker on top of their podium, Princess' marker actually being suitable for her size in a rare instance of miniature denizen accessibility. The only thing out of place was the large digital screen behind them (currently only showing the show's name), and the smaller off-camera screens for their eyes.

The Cat was in front of them both on a plush stool, addressing the camera being manned by Frank the bear. "Competing today, we have the passenger Irvin Kemp-" The camera pans towards him, admittedly making him a little nervous. "-and train denizen Princess!" The mouse took much better to the camera, blowing a kiss as it went to her next. Fake applause filled the room at their introductions. They either had someone in the booth manning the speakers, or a really well-hidden remote.

"Princess, could you tell us about the two of you, and what all you've been through on the train?" She asks, turning towards Princess.

Unsurprisingly, Princess takes to the spotlight like a fish to water. "Oh, so much more than I would ever have time to explain! Irvin and I have been together since his very first train car, a humble little farm. Back then, his number sat at a rather high 764. He's been working hard to improve himself though, and just look at where he is now."

All eyes fall on him. Meekly, Irvin holds up his hand to demonstrate.

_299_

"My my, that is a rather significant change." The Cat remarks. "And how long have you two been together?"

"Oh, just a little more than a month." Princess answers. "The time has positively been flying by."

She nods, and turns to Irvin. He quickly shakes his head before she can even ask what's on her mind. It's not that Irvin was camera shy, he was just… camera bashful.

Kindly, The Cat doesn't push the matter. She moves on with the show. "Neither of you are familiar with how this game works, so allow me to explain the rules:"

"Companion Ship is a game of friendship. The two of you will be playing together to try and win enough points to win. You'll earn points by answering questions and winning short challenges. Individually, both of you will be able to earn 50 points. To win however, the two of you will need a combined score of 80 points in total!"

Irvin nods along, following the explanation well-enough. He and Princess share hopeful looks. If the challenges weren't too bad, they might just win.

"Is there a prize for winning?" Princess asks. The Cat nods. "Will you tell us what it is?"

She grins. "Normally I would, but in your case… Well, I have something special in mind for you two. Why spoil the surprise?"

"Ominous." Irvin mutters. She didn't notice, already back to explaining the show to the cameras.

"As longtime viewers know, we ask our players before every episode what they're best at. For Irvin, his specialty lies in _mathematics._ Is this correct, Irvin?"

He gulps, thinking over his words carefully so that he doesn't become a stuttering mess when he speaks. This wasn't live, The Cat had told them as much before they came on-set. This show was instead recorded, copied onto tapes, and then sold to interested viewers in other cars. If he messed up badly, he could get a retake. Keeping that in mind helped him calm down a little bit.

"Yes. I w-went to college on a m-math degree, and it h-has always been my best subject in school."

"A well-educated man, how lovely! Meanwhile, your companion, Princess, is more suited to dealing with people. Her specialty is sociability, am I not wrong?"

She responds casually. "I've dealt with many types of people in the past. It's only natural that I would get better at handling them. Though, I'd be lying if I didn't say some of it came naturally."

"I understand exactly what you mean." The Cat replies with a wink. She turns back to the cameras. " _Pour commencer,_ let's give them each a demonstration round."

"Irvin, would you like to start us off?" The Cat asks. He takes a deep breath. This wasn't a test, it was a game. The prize didn't matter, this wasn't a live broadcast, and they could leave regardless of how he did. There wasn't any pressure right now. He just had to solve whatever math problem she set in front of him.

He nods, so The Cat goes on. "We've prepared a somewhat challenging problem for you to solve. You'll only have one minute to give us the values of X and Y. Feel free to use your whiteboard to work it out. Your time starts the moment we show you the problem. Are you ready?"

It didn't matter that he was being timed, this was just a game. Games had timers sometimes. He didn't need to stress himself out. If he just kept telling himself that, he'd be okay.

He grips the marker and whiteboard tightly, looking up at the screen. Breath. "Show it to me."

"Eager, aren't you? Well I won't keep you waiting. Three! Two! One! Go!" She points to the screen, and the problem immediately reveals itself.

**40y + 100x = 1620**  
**5y − 2x = 72**

He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. It was a substitution/elimination problem. And an easy one at that.

"The clock has started! Under such a strict time limit, will Irvin be able-"

"Done." Irvin sets down his marker, and flips his board around.

**X = 9, Y = 18**

The Cat looks back at him with wide eyes, glancing over at their digital clock. It still had 52 seconds left on its face.

" _C'était rapide._ " The Cat mutters to herself. "Frank, did he get it right?"

The bear moves beside the screen, and after a moment to build suspense, presses a button that changes the display into the same answers Irvin had written.

"Irvin was correct! Let's give him a hand, as well as 5 points for that answer." More fake applause, joined by the softer but genuine clapping of the three animals there with him.

"Thanks… I hope you h-have harder problems then that for the next r-rounds." He really did. If that was considered a difficult problem, then Irvin was going to get through this without a sweat.

"Don't worry, I'm sure I'll find a more challenging question for you soon enough, Irvin." The Cat assures him, before looking back to Princess. "Your partner just completed his first problem. Do you think that you can do the same?"

"Well, I won't know for certain until I see what it is… but I'm confident I can handle whatever you have."

Satisfied with her confident response, The Cat looks back to the nervous man's podium. "You'll be participating in this one as well, Irvin."

"Huh? M-Me?" He asks, receiving nods in return.

"Write down three statements. Two of them should be lies, and one should be the truth. Princess will try to discern the fact from the fiction, and she will receive 5 points if she succeeds."

"...D-Do I get anything for tricking her?" He was going to need some motivation to not make this really obvious. They _were_ on the same team after all.

The Cat pretends to think, despite clearly having something in mind. "If Princess chooses incorrectly, then I will give you 5 seconds more for all future questions."

That… was tempting. Enough for Irvin to play along and try to pull one over on his companion.

The phrases he came up with were simple. He flips his board around to show the three.

_-I used to have a pet lizard._  
_-My father's name is Richard._  
_-Woodrow Wilson was the 38th president._

All of them were based on facts that Irvin knew he hadn't told Princess. The last one he threw in as a wildcard, hoping that it's lack of personal relevance would make it harder for Princess to discern.

After showing The Cat which one was the truth, he flipped his board around for Princess to look at. She examined it carefully, squinting in concentration.

"A lizard, hm?" Her eyes flicker up at Irvin. "Richard…" Again, they move. She pauses.

"Your father's name is Richard. That one is the truth." She declares, nearly causing him to drop the board in shock.

"H-How!?"

"You have a terrible poke face, Irvin." Gah! She'd been trying to read his reactions, of course! He felt like an idiot now for not realizing it.

"Excellent demonstration Princess!" Irvin begrudgingly claps along with the fake applause, still a little upset about how easily he just got read. "Your team is at 10 points now. Now that the demonstrations are out of the way…"

A sly grin spreads across her face. "The real game can begin."

They exchange uneasy looks as The Cat motions to the monitors. Two columns appear on all of them.

**-Irvin-**  
**Deduction**  
**Bargaining**  
**Mindgames  
** **Reads  
**

**-Princess-  
** **Substitution**  
**Physics  
** **Measurements**  
**Flashcards**

Their feline host explains. "Moving forward, I want each of you to choose a category when it's your turn. You'll select all four eventually, but the ones you start with will be easier and the ones you save for last will be much more challenging."

Neither of them wanted to bring it up, but it needed to be asked. Princess bites the bullet for them. "Why does it look like you've given my categories to Irvin and his to me?"

The Cat shrugs nonchalantly. "A game you're bound to win wouldn't be very thrilling, now would it? This keeps things nicely _difficile,_ wouldn't you agree?"

"So th-this is what she meant by it being a g-game of bonds…" Irvin sighs.

The Cat gives him a smile. "On this show, players swap specialties with their partners. You'll be walking a mile in each other's shoes to try and win."

"B-But, I'm terrible at a-all things social."

"I wouldn't say that I'm _awful,_ at math, but it's true that I have never taken a class on the subject. Isn't a game that you're guaranteed to lose just as boring as the opposite?"

"Obviously. That's why even with this twist, you still have a perfectly fair chance of winning."  
The Cat motions to the screens, as they change to visuals that go along with her explanation. "For this round, all challenges are worth 5 points. Afterwards, I'll give you both an hour to rest, and we'll start a new round with the same categories and point values. If you've at least reached 50 points collectively by then, I'll give you each a bonus question to make a last ditch effort for the winning score of 80."

"5 points p-per category, 4 categories each, 2 rounds. We already have t-ten points, so we need 8 wins to q-qualify for the bonus question, and 14 to w-win without it." Irvin summarizes.

"My my, math really is your specialty." She compliments. He's unimpressed.

"It's just simple addition…"

She extends a paw in Irvin's direction. "It's your turn now, Irvin. Please choose from one of your four categories."

He sighs. This wasn't going to be pretty no matter what he chose. Deduction and reads were probably his least awful categories, so it'd be better to start with mindgames or bargaining.

"I'll… take bargaining."

"Please come here then." The Cat motions him to a more open part of the set on the side. "All you have to do for this challenge, is convince Randall to give you a piece of gum."

"Wait, Randall?" The name sounded familiar.

Sure enough, a sentient water creature comes out of a dressing room with a pack of gum floating inside of him. He waves his entire body when he sees Irvin.

"You have 60 seconds to convince him. Your time starts now." The Cat declares without proper warning.

"W-Wait, now!?" He turns back, seeing the monitor display a timer in place of the categories. No preparation whatsoever, and such a strict time limit. _This_ was the easy version of this category!?

No time to complain. "Hey, R-Randall, can I get a piece of your g-gum?"

"Sorry, no can do. If I open the pack, it'll ruin its collector's value."

"Collector's… It's gum!"

"A full pack of _Fresh-Winter_ branded mint-flavored gum! In a few years, I can get back double what I paid for it when its value shoots up."

"That's not how gum works… The value only d-declines with age, since the pieces get s-stale and chalky."

"Really? The Cat told me it ages like milk."

"Uh… Milk doesn't age well either. Wine or cheese w-would be better analogies for positive a-aging."

"But doesn't milk turn into cheese?"

"Not by itself, y-you have to do stuff to it. Something about c-curds and whey, I don't really know the whole p-process."

"Huh. I wouldn't have known that." Randall says, looking impressed with Irvin's knowledge. Maybe now if he asked again-

A loud ringing sounds from behind Irvin. "I'm very sorry, but your time is up Irvin."

He sighs. Even with all the progress he made, he didn't have the time to clinch it. Even if it was just a game and didn't matter, he still felt disappointed.

When he's back at his podium, The Cat turns to Princess. The mouse doesn't hesitate with her answer. "I will take physics"

The Cat nods, turning to the water creature still in the room. "Randall, the next category is physics."

He blinks. "Ooh! Should I start doing the thing?"

"If you would."

Without another word, Randall starts running at the wall. He splatters into it, reforms quickly, and then runs straight at the opposite wall. As he repeats this process, Frank sets down a stopwatch on Princess' podium.

"The distance between those two walls is exactly 20 meters." The Cat explains. "Since you chose this first, I'll give you the formula you need to solve this as well." She taps her paw twice, as a screen lights up with a basic speed formula ( **speed = distance/time** ). "You have two minutes to find Randall's speed. Good luck."

The timer starts. The moment Randall comes off a wall, Princess starts timing him to get a measure on how fast he was going. After a few cycles, she clocked in a time of 8 seconds per dash. all she needed then was to do the simple division.

Even for someone without formal education, that was easy enough. "2.5." Princess says, holding up her board.

"2.5 meters per second is correct!" The Cat declares. Applause funnels in. "Randall, you can stop that now." The water creature doesn't pull himself apart after hitting the wall again, instead leaving the room as a group of droplet sized versions of himself. It was bizarre to see, but a month on the train had well-since desensitized Irvin to such sights.

They were at 15 points now. If Princess could keep up with the math, and he could squeeze in a few points with his challenges, then maybe this wasn't as bad as he'd thought.

"We'll switch turn order this round, so Princess please pick another category." The Cat instructs.

She glances up at the board. "I suppose that I'll be taking substitution."

He smiles. That category was basically a freebie.

…

Watching Princess struggle was really forcing Irvin to reconsider his perspective on how easy these types of problems were.

He was seconds away from ripping out his eyes watching Princess just stare at the equation in front of her for a full minute and a half. The moment it came on screen, she'd just frozen up. About five seconds later, Irvin had the answer and had to physically restrain himself from shouting it.

Her marker hadn't even been touched yet. She clearly had no idea what she was doing, and he really felt bad for her. Unfortunately, his sympathy was partly buried under his intense frustration. The Cat eventually called it, but the pain stuck with him up until it was his turn to choose.

"M-Mindgames."

His challenge was to guess Frank's favorite food in 6 yes or no questions, with the caveat that he was allowed to lie for one of them. He'd gotten it down to Bacon or Hamburgers, but Frank lied on one of his last two replies so he wasn't a hundred percent certain which it was. He guessed bacon incorrectly. No points for him.

Princess took Flashcards, which Irvin couldn't even imagine being difficult. The cards were all single digit number multiplication, and she had 5 seconds to answer. 7 out of 10 was all it took to pass. She got 2.

He may have smashed his head into the podium at that.

Picking reads gave him flashcards of his own. The Cat would show him a face, and he had to identify the emotion on it within a few seconds. Unfortunately, the cards used random train denizens, some of which being less expressive than others. No points.

Princess took Measurements and had to guess how many jelly beans were in a jar given only its weight, height, and the radius of the base. She was allowed to be off by up to 50.

She guessed 100. There were 1279.

Surprisingly, Irvin's last challenge, deduction, is the only one he ends up passing.

"Your best friend has just lost their significant other. What is the proper response?" The Cat asks.

As the clock ticked down, Irvin had more and more trouble thinking of a proper response. At ten seconds, he voices his uncertainty. "What k-kind of question is that? I-I don't know! I mean, h-how did he even l-lose her?"

Apparently, _that_ was the answer. It was a trick question. If he'd said anything, even "I'm sorry for your loss", that would have been wrong. Without context, there was no way to properly respond.

"And with that, round one is over. Let's double check their score one more time before the break." The Cat says, as the screens put up a big number 20. Out of eight challenges, they'd won two of them. "These two have gotten off to a rough start, but they aren't out of the running yet. If they can get 30 points in the second round, then they will qualify for the bonus question. Before that though, we'll be giving these two some time off. Let's hope they use it well."

…

"We agree that this is unwinnable, right?"

Surprisingly, Irvin wasn't the one saying that. It was Princess, resting on his chest as he lies on the couch, who was the first to give up.

"T-Technically, we just need to win six of the categories next round." He responds, despite also not believing in that possibility. "So yeah, impossible. ...Sorry, I'm a-awful at all of my categories."

"Don't take all the credit. This failure is a team effort." She jokes. Her chuckles fade into a sad sigh. "I'm fine at basic math, but she wasn't giving me enough time to complete those flashcards. I don't even know what I was supposed to be doing on those other two."

Irvin felt that she had more than enough time. The problem was just that she didn't seem familiar with basic multiplication tables.

"Like that jellybean thing. Honestly, what did she expect, was I supposed to count them all? They weren't all visible from the outside, and I didn't have anywhere near enough time to do something so tedious."

"She g-gave you a ruler. You were p-probably supposed to measure the jar to see how many it c-could hold." He says. She gives him a confused look.

"How?"

"The volume of a cylinder is pi t-times the radius squared times the height. Once you get a volume, you c-can get an approximate volume for each jellybean by m-measuring their size like a box. C-Calculate how many the container can hold, a-and guess slightly h-higher than that since the beans aren't exactly b-boxes. You won't g-get the exact number like that, b-but you can get pretty c-close… Uh, sorry, that was p-probably more than you wanted."

After that lecture, he was expecting her to look bored out of her mind. Surprisingly though, she had a warm smile on her face. "...You should see the way your face lights up when you talk about this stuff."

That got his cheeks warm. "H-Ha… It r-really isn't that complicated. Even kids l-learn geometry, anyone could do it if they remember the formulas. You could too, i-if you wanted."

"I'm sure that I could if-" She stops. A thought crosses her mind. "There's an idea."

"What?" He asks.

"We have an hour to ourselves. Perhaps we should use it to prepare for the upcoming round."

Irvin starts to sit up, giving Princess enough time to slide down his body to the couch's armrest. "I th-thought you said it was unwinnable?"

"If we went straight into another round, then yes. But this time, we _know_ what categories to expect. We have plenty of time to prepare, and we have all the resources we need in one another. A bit of study now could make all the difference in how possible this game really is."

"...I _would_ like to m-make it to the bonus q-question at least." He admits.

"Then let's at least try before giving up." She says, pointing a paw straight at Irvin. "You saw how badly I did. What mistakes did I make last round?"

"Mistakes? Um…" He rubs his neck. "It's n-not really like that. You d-didn't have a chance to make mistakes, b-because you didn't have enough knowledge to even try most of the time. With math, you need to know _how_ to solve a p-problem, and then you need to actually _s-solve_ it. You mostly got hung up on that f-first step."

He thinks back to her categories and adds, "flashcards was the exception, but... I d-don't really think that's something you can improve on quickly th-though. If you don't know your multiplication tables already, then it w-would take more than an hour to g-get you familiar with them enough to make a difference."

"They move by too fast for me." She defends, pouting. "I hardly had enough time to start counting before they were up."

"You had five seconds each. That's… actually kind of generous for those."

She gives him a look, so he coughs into his hand and moves on. "I c-could teach you how to work out substitution problems, a-and some general formulas for measurements. If you c-can do the math correctly, and within the time limit…"

"Then that will be enough?"

"Y-Yeah. You could probably net fifteen points, if you a-accept that the flashcards are a lost cause."

"But that isn't enough to win." She says, poking Irvin. "If I can only get fifteen points, then _you_ need to get at least fifteen as well."

"Ah, so it really i-is impossible then."

She frowns. "Irvin, do you actually think that, or was that just your usual automatic response?"

"Yes."

That one gets a chuckle. "Really though, I think you have a better chance than I do. You just need to change your approach slightly."

He watches her idly walk along the armrest as she talks. "For example, you almost had Randall in your first challenge. Your problem was that you let him control the pace of the discussion. You can't do that when you're on a time limit."

Huh. Randall's odd comments had definitely thrown him off, and he lost a lot of time addressing them instead of trying to convince him to share his gum. He hadn't noticed it at the time, but it seems obvious looking back now.

"I g-guess if I handled that one a little differently, that would be an extra f-five points…" If he got five points there and repeated his deduction win, then he just needed to win at either mindgames or reads. He came pretty close on mindgames last time, so maybe it wasn't totally impossible.

"...Can you give me some advice for reads?" He asks.

She smiles. "I think I can teach you enough to pass. But once I'm done, I expect you to show me how to solve those substitution problems."

...

For the rest of the hour, they talk. When one of them needs a break, they swap roles and let the other one teach for a while.

Princess' advice is very broad, as she tries to give Irvin the tools he needs to address any number of situations The Cat could throw at him. In contrast, Irvin's instructions are more specific. Given the categories they know, he prepares her with formulas and techniques to solve a specific range of problems.

When they run out of advice to give, their time is just about up. There was little left to go over, except what order they'd take their categories in. When Irvin gives his list, she only has one alteration to make.

"Put mindgames at the very end."

"W-Why? I thought y-you said I had a chance with it."

"That's true. I'm not suggesting that you give up on it, but I think you'll do better at maximum intensity."

He stares at her, blinking slowly. "...Okay, you're g-going to have to explain."

"How do you think The Cat plans to ramp up the difficulty for that category?"

He thinks. "Probably by switching around my o-opponent. Randall would be the easiest, Frank would b-be somewhere in the middle like last time…"

"And for the hardest variant?"

"She'd… probably p-put in herself."

"Exactly my point. I'm not saying that you couldn't beat anyone else. What I'm saying is that you could _definitely_ beat The Cat."

Before he can ask more, the door opens. Frank the bear leans in to let them know that their time is up. Princess hops off the armrest, only offering one last piece of cryptic advice.

"Try to think of what you know about her, and you'll know how to beat her."

That advice must have been great in her head. To Irvin though, it sounded like she forgot that he'd only met her some hours ago. He barely knew anything about her!

Whatever. Even if he didn't get it, he would be fine as long as he beat all of his other categories. As long as he didn't mess anything up, there wouldn't be a problem.

No pressure.

…

Irvin starts off with bargaining again. Sure enough Randall is brought out to serve as his opponent. Instead of trying to get into his gum this time, all Irvin needed to do was get Randall to accept a present. 60 seconds, no time to waste!

"Randall, I have a gift f-for you."

The water denizen gasps. "For me? Well I'd love to accept it, but I don't have anything to offer in return."

"Just take it, I insist." Irvin pushes, holding it out to him.

"No no, I insist against your insistence until-"

"Randall," he says in a lower tone, "take this g-gift from my hands, or the next thing you get from m-me will be a sponge."

He freezes. "Right-o! That would be unpleasant, so I'll be taking this then." He wraps his liquid arms around the box, taking it out of Irvin's hands.

Success! They were at 25 points, only 25 more to go!

…

"This box can hold 92 bars of soap." Princess answers.

"That is… correct!" The Cat says, as applause funnels in.

Taking measurements first had been a great idea. Just as Irvin predicted, she'd been given a much more simple problem to work with. All the shapes she needed to measure were boxes, which had a much simpler volume formula.

They'd both been a little worried that the round two physics problem would involve a formula they hadn't touched on, but thankfully not. Just another speed problem, with the caveat of not being given the formula or a stopwatch. Not enough to stop her.

35 points, they were on track still…

…

"Confused… Happy… Exhausted… Furious…... er- Nervous?"

The Cat opens her mouth to correct him, but Irvin quickly shouts over her "Wait! Embarrassed!"

She smiles. "Correct! I must say, your performance has shot up quite dramatically this round."

"Th-Thanks. Princess gave me some g-good advice."

_Pay attention to the eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul._

Not all denizens had mouths, but all of the ones The Cat showed definitely had some kind of eyes.

Deduction was a little tougher. He kind of lucked into the answer last time, a feat he wasn't likely to repeat.

She sets the scene for him. "A work acquaintance has been diagnosed with a rather serious disease recently. You aren't particularly close to him, but during the week he asks you to cover a shift for him. Unfortunately, you can't do so, having promised to meet with a friend on that day. How do you resolve the situation without discarding your previous commitment?"

"Um… Hmmm..." That was a tough one. There were a lot of variables to juggle, and he didn't want to seem rude.

"Okay, I think… I-I would try to help him find a d-different coworker to take his shift. If none are willing, then I c-could offer to take one for them in the future in exchange f-for this one now. If n-nobody is available, then I guess I would talk to the m-manager with him?"

"So… You commit to helping him find a replacement, while holding firm on your original commitment?" The Cat says, confirming his response.

"Y-Yes."

There's a pause. It lasts for just long enough for Irvin to suspect the worst.

"Correct! Your actions would be entirely appropriate under those circumstances."

He lets out a sigh of relief as applause fills the room.

Just one more to go…

…

Princess knew what she was doing when the substitution problem came up. She followed all of the steps necessary to solve it.

...So why?

"That is incorrect." The Cat informs her, shaking her head.

Princess' eyes widen, as she flips her board around to stare at her work. It all lined up, she didn't understand.

She looks over at Irvin. He gives her a pained look, as he tells her, "7 times 7 i-is 49, not 48. You w-were off by 1."

She flips it back, looking again. "...Ugh. I was so close too."

Flashcards went about as well as expected. They never considered her winning, and at the hardest difficulty? She didn't stand a chance.

That left only one category...

45 points. One challenge left. Everything rested on Irvin's shoulders.

**NO PRESSURE!**

"I'm r-ready to take on mindgames." He says, not looking sure of himself at all.

"I hope you are, because for this challenge you'll be playing against _moi._ " The Cat says, exactly as Princess had predicted. "The game is simple. You're going to give me a statement, and I am going to guess if it's true or false. If my guess is wrong, then you win. You have to write out whether your question is true or false before I guess, so no changing your answer after the fact."

"By the way, I wouldn't try lying if I were you. If I suspect foul play, I'll ask for verification. We have a lie detector on standby if that's the only way to be sure."

So, he needed to get The Cat to answer incorrectly In a game where even just guessing she'd be right 50% of the time. And given how their demonstration round went, Irvin's poker face was lacking.

...Why did Princess think he could beat her again?

"You have one minute to come up with the best statement you can. Your time starts… now!" The screens change to timers, not helping Irvin with his stress at all.

He just spent all that time strategizing and learning from Princess and he was about to blow it all. There had to be _something_ he could ask that she wouldn't be able to guess right. Princess wouldn't have pushed for this if she didn't think he could pull something here!

Try to think logically. Okay, Irvin's face is probably going to give away the answer. If it doesn't, then there's a 50% chance she'll guess wrong. But if it does, then she'll know the answer 100% of the time. Okay, so it's not worth considering that scenario since he loses immediately in it.

Actually, 100% sounded promising. Even if it was 100% failure rate, it was more consistent than the alternative. There had to be something to go on with that. Like maybe… knowing the answer would make her choose wrong?

Why would she do that? Because she doesn't like the answer. So Irvin just needed to say something like "I'm a terrible person" and guilt her into disagreeing with him. Could that work? If it was Princess, she'd never agree with that. But The Cat seems like the type who plays to win, and would gladly call him terrible to achieve that.

Okay, guilt was out. What did that leave- he _really_ didn't have much time left. Uhh- maybe- wrong…

Why would The Cat willingly choose the wrong answer in lose? If she wants them to win, then he can just say anything. If she doesn't, then the only reason she would lose would be if she physically couldn't give the right answer. Holding down the host and forcing her was _WAY_ too far for just a game.

The answer couldn't be verified, so he wins by default!? Or maybe, she chooses _not_ to verify it, so whatever he says goes? Why wouldn't she verify whatever he guesses? There's no reason not to.

Make a reason! Ten seconds left- why wouldn't she verify the answer? Because if she did, then the truth would be-

"-!" He gasps. Only five seconds left!

Hastily, he writes the answer on his board. He barely finishes in time.

"Time's up! Please give me whatever statement you prepared." The Cat says.

Irvin takes a deep breath. He runs the statement through his head again, looking down at his board. This would either work or it wouldn't. Either way, he gave it his best. "O-Okay. My phrase is…"

" **Princess knows your real name.** "

There's a beat of silence. The Cat stares at him, confusion evident. He didn't dare look back at Princess to see what she thought of this.

After a few seconds, The Cat snaps back to attention. "You and I both know that that's **true.** "

Nowhere to run now. He just prays that he can sell it.

Irvin flips his board around to reveal the word **false.** "Nope. You're wrong."

"What?" She's taken aback. "Why would you even bother with such a pointless lie? I know that's wrong already."

He takes a deep breath, and then feigns total innocence. "Huuuuhh? I'm wrong? That d-doesn't sound right to me. But if you _really_ th-think she knows, then I guess we could just ask her to say what your name is. Right here. On-camera."

Realization sets in. The Cat suddenly takes on a horrified expression. Princess pounces on it. "I imagine that it would be _very_ unsatisfying to those watching at home if you were to take that scene out of the final cut. If we insist that we're right, and you don't leave in the proof that we're wrong, that would call into question the legitimacy of this entire show, wouldn't it?"

"So, w-what's it going to be? Am I right, or a-are you going to prove me wrong?" Irvin asks, sounding cocky for possibly the first time in his entire life. Even if he didn't know The Cat very well, he knew what she'd pick.

She looks away from them both, clearly trying to hide her defeated expression. "...You were correct. Princess does not know my real name."

The applause that fills the room feels so much sweeter than before, as he lets out a long sigh of relief. He was so glad that worked and that he didn't just make himself look like a tremendous idiot. Princess was so overwhelmed with pride that she had to look away herself to hide her tears.

The Cat is quick to recover. "Congratulations, you two. Since you reached 50 points, you qualify to take on the bonus question for a chance at victory. I hope everyone is ready for the very last challenge!"

…

A large sail had been raised between their podiums, preventing them from seeing one another. Immediately, they both had a feeling what type of challenge this was going to be based on that fact.

Their thoughts are confirmed quickly. "I'm going to ask both of you both to answer the same question. Neither of you are allowed to speak or signal the other until both of you have put down an answer. You don't have to answer honestly this time. Your goal is simply to write the same answer that your partner does."

It made perfect sense as a final round. They had to be perfectly in-tune with one another to succeed. Whether or not they would manage it would come down to the question being asked.

"If you're both ready, then I'll read it out." They both nod. "Your question is:"

" **Who most deserves to leave the train?** "

Of the questions she could have asked…

This was the easiest possible one.

Neither of them think for more than a few seconds before writing their answers. The Cat sees them both finish, and motions for the sail to be lifted.

"Irvin, Princess, please show me your whiteboards."

They share a look. Without any words or looking at the other's board, they already know that they've won. Still, for the sake of the show, they flip their boards around to reveal the same name on each.

**Rico Ricardio**

Roaring applause fills the room, greater than all previous instances. "A perfect match! Both of you are _les vainqueurs._ " The Cat declares.

At her request, they milk out their celebration for as long as it takes for her to do an outro. As soon as she finishes, the red lights on all the cameras go off, signalling the end of the recording session.

"Glad th-that's over." He says, letting out a content sigh. Somehow they managed to pull through.

"It's not over quite yet." Princess points out. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I hear _somebody_ mention a prize earlier?"

The Cat chuckles. "Oh don't worry. I wouldn't forget something like that. Frank?"

The bear nods, and walks backstage. He returns with a colorfully wrapped gift box. It was like a Christmas present, and Irvin couldn't deny wanting to rip it open.

Princess moves to his podium, watching as he barbarically tears through the wrapping paper to reach the contents. With how hard they worked to win it, he just hoped it could live up to the hype.

He gets past the paper to the box, and tears the flaps open. Inside...

"Memory t-tapes?"

Two tapes were sitting there, almost daring them to be disappointed. Irvin grabs one and peeks at the label.

_Irvin Kemp_

"Figures… Then this one i-is for Prin- huh?" He pauses, thinking back to what he'd been told. "Wait, I thought only passengers g-got memory tapes?"

"Yes, that's right." Princess says, staring at the tape uncertainly. "It can't be mine, I don't have one."

Then… whose tape was this? Another one of Princess' past passengers? Rico's? Someone neither of them know?

Slowly, Irvin reaches out and flips it over.

His eyes widen at the name written on its label. He very nearly drops the tape.

_Elizabeth Kemp_

"E...Eliza?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor edit: I changed the tape's label from "Eliza Kemp" to "Elizabeth Kemp" for accuracy.


	9. The Sister Car

_Elizabeth Kemp_

"W-What's going on!?" Irvin asks, turning to The Cat for answers. "Why is m-my sister's name o-on this?"

"Why? Isn't it obvious? What you're holding is _Eliza's_ tape." She answers, far too calmly for Irvin's liking.

"Th-That's impossible."

"Is it? Are you sure that it can't be true?"

If Eliza had a tape, then that meant Eliza had been on this train in the past. That didn't seem possible. It made perfect sense for him to be on the train, but Eliza? His sister had an amazing life, why would she ever need to come here?

Despite this, Irvin found it hard to argue. Not only was the tape in his hands right now, but he couldn't give the obvious rebuttal that anyone else would. Since he hadn't stayed in touch with Eliza, he couldn't say that she never disappeared. For all he knew, she absolutely could have been on this train while he wasn't in contact with her.

But… why? Why would Eliza ever wind up here? What happened to her?

Princess gives him a reassuring touch, calming him down slightly. "I… Did s-she really come here?" He asks, a pleading expression on his face.

The Cat discards her garish top hat, and leads them backstage. "The fact that you're holding that tape should make that clear. If that's not enough for you though... then I can attest to meeting a woman with that name in the past."

"You m-met her?" She nods.

"Briefly. I remember her passing through a car I had been running in the past. Though she didn't leave the strongest impression, I remember her having the same round face and messy curls that you have."

It wasn't a satisfying explanation, he still had a lot to ask. Before he could follow-up though, Princess taps the side of his head to stop him. She whispers in his ear. "Don't bother. Knowing her, she's holding back the important details for _dramatic effect._ "

"That's a t-terrible reason." He whispers back.

"Just save your questions until after the tape. She probably doesn't want to spoil anything on it."

The Cat stops in front of a door, which Irvin saves her the trouble of jumping to open. The room inside seemed to be a director's studio. Random bits of set and filming equipment littered the edges of the room, while the desk in the middle was only slightly more organized. They were probably here for the TV sitting on the desk. It was an older model, so much so that it had a tape player built into it.

"Here." She taps the old display's side. "You'll be starting with your sister's tape I imagine?"

"Yeah. Princess warned m-me that watching your own was d-dangerous." So what was even the point of giving him his own.

"They can be, if your memories are too painful to face or too distorted to escape." The Cat explains, tapping Irvin's noggin. "For some passengers it's worth the risk, as overcoming them is often an easy way to lower your number by quite a bit."

He didn't really care about watching his right now, especially not with his mind still trying to wrap itself around Eliza having been on the train. It would sit comfortably in his pocket for now.

Sitting down in front of the desk, his grip around her tape tightens. Something had happened to Eliza, something that ended with her coming here.

_...What happened to you, Eliza?_

Princess coughs to get his attention. "I imagine this will be a very personal moment for you Irvin. If you feel that you need privacy-"

"You can w-watch if you want." He answers, neither requesting nor rejecting her. Callous, perhaps, but he was too focused on other things to care.

With little fanfare, he inserts the tape into the slot and turns the TV on.

Static.

And then... White.

An overwhelming white void surrounded him on nearly all sides. Disoriented, he looks around for any splash of color or life. Behind him, he finds both. It was like staring through the other side of the screen, as he saw himself, Princess, and The Cat in the dressing room staring back at him with blank expressions. It was _really_ creepy to see himself like that. It was so distracting that he didn't even notice that those same denizens stood beside him in the void (their heights didn't help them stand out). Neither of them seemed as befuddled, both appearing familiar with the space.

"Give it a moment." Princess says, answering his unstated confusion.

A few seconds go by, before static overtakes one of the walls. "There we are. Come along." The Cat says, as she leads the way towards it. They follow, Irvin being surprised when she walks straight through it.

As he steps through, the meaningless void is immediately replaced by a much more familiar landscape.

A wave of nostalgia washes over him. "This is… o-our old room."

He remembered it perfectly. It was clearly night, but the bright night light plugged in left everything visible enough. The blue walls, the old bureau with a huge stain on the mirror, the bookshelf filled mostly with mom and dad's old books and a couple classic children's books for them. It was like stepping into his own memories. It made sense of course, given that his sister lived much the same life as he did at that age. Still, freaky…

"It's a little small, isn't it?" Princess asks, walking along the bureau.

"Yeah. I-It didn't help that we s-shared the room, and neither of u-us were good at keeping it clean." While the main walking areas were clean, piles of toys and clothes were pushed up against the walls.

A childish giggle alerts him to the presence of others. His head whips around to the bunk bed, seeing a large blanket covered lump on the top bunk. The bottom was empty.

Cautiously, Irvin walks over and puts an ear up near it. He hears whispers.

_"Don't turn the page yet, I wasn't finished."_

_"H-Hurry up then. The flashlight batteries a-are almost out, it's getting darker."_

_"Go get more from the kitchen then."_

_"Y-You do it. I'm n-not going down there w-when it's this dark."_

_"You have a flashlight."_

_"But i-it's almost dead."_

The blanket shuffled. He takes a step back as someone underneath it lifted it…

And there she was.

Eliza. Exactly the way he remembered her when they were kids.

Beside her was him, the same age as her, lying beside her and pointing a flashlight down at a graphic novel they'd picked up at the library.

"I r-remember this." He looks back at his companions, who were watching him as much as the scene itself. "W-We couldn't agree who g-got to read it first, so we did it together. W-When it got late, we didn't want to stop."

"So you spent the evening huddled together reading." She smiles. " _Comme c'est mignon._ "

Princess had climbs up the bed, joining Irvin in staring at his sister. "So this is Eliza."

"This was years ago." He says. "B-But yeah."

_Eliza sits up, grabbing Irvin's hand. "Come on, we'll go together. Night adventure!"_

_"I-I d-don't know…"_

_"Well I won't be able to sleep until I know who killed Darkham's father, so somebody has to go. It'll be safer if we do it together." She sticks out a hand for him to take._

The present-day Irvin has to hold himself back from holding her hand himself. Seeing her again, like this… It brought back so many memories from before everything got awful. Back when he was just a kid without any troubles but school. Stupid school…

"You two really do look alike." Princess mentions.

"We got that a l-lot at that age." He responds, leaving out the part where they continued to get those comments at every other age.

_"...Okay." Irvin takes her hand, both of them quietly sliding off the bedframe to the floor. As they leave the room-_

Everything goes to static. The change in brightness from nighttime to bright TV fuzz makes him cover his eyes in pain. When he opens them, the scene was completely different, yet still familiar.

"Ugh. School." They were in a classroom. It took him a few seconds to recall it, but he soon realized it was their history classroom from back in sixth grade.

The teacher (a favorite of his who sadly retired while he was in eighth grade) was reading a book, while all the other students had their heads down. It must have been some sort of test or exam. Eliza was in the middle of the room, while he was in the back. Even at a distance, it was obvious that he was sweating bullets.

Good to remember he'd always been that stressed out about tests, it wasn't just something that started up around high school or college.

"Don't forget whose tape this is, Irvin." The Cat says, pointing towards his sister.

"Are a-all of these important memories, or are r-random ones mixed in there?" Irvin asks. "I don't r-really see the big deal-"

As he was saying it, Eliza stands up and raises her hand.

_"Mr. Applewood?"_

_The teacher looks up from his book at Eliza, setting it down to address her. "Yes dear?"_

_"Can I switch seats with someone? Felix keeps trying to cheat off of me."_

"Oh. Th-This one." He murmurs, sitting back and letting it play out.

_The boy sitting beside her flinches, as the teacher levels him a harsh look. "I think Felix can come sit up here with me until he's done with his test. I'll be speaking to him after class, so he may as well come up now."_

_A few students chuckle, much to Felix's frustration. Eliza smiles and sits back down as the boy angrily moves to the front of the room._

_As Eliza continues with her test, she peeks up at him…_

_And sees him staring right at her with a look that could kill._

_She quickly turns back to her paper, a look of worry on her face._

"Felix was the worst." He mutters, flicking the boy's head. He quickly retracts his hand when it meets with static.

The whole world changes again, and Irvin is far less startled this time. They were still in school, in the hallways now.

_Eliza was pulling things out of her locker, when Felix walks up and slams it on her fingers. She screams, pulling back and shaking them tearfully. Felix and his friend only laugh._

_"Nobody likes a snitch. Be a good girl and shut up next time." He says in that stupid slimy tone that he always used._

_As he turns to leave, a backpack hits him in the face, making him stumble back. His friend barely has a second to register it before a fist to the face brings him to the ground._

_Irvin stood over him, glaring at Felix with quiet fury. "You hurt my sister."_

"My my, it seems you were quite protective of your sister." The Cat says.

"That wouldn't be a surprise if you heard how he talked about her." Princess tells her. They both look to Irvin, expecting to see him happy about the scene in front of him. Instead, he watched the scene with a scrutinizing expression.

"This… feels wr-wrong." He says, as his past self throws Felix to the floor and starts wailing on him.

"Wrong?" Princess repeats.

"I d-don't remember it happening this w-way." He motions up to the scene. Felix was begging for mercy on the floor, as Irvin engaged in intense hand-to-hand combat with his friend. "I was way less c-cool than this. And I got my butt whooped."

Seeing him winning the fight was satisfying, absolutely, but it wasn't right. This wasn't the truth.

"That may be how _you_ remember it, but Eliza remembered the scene differently." The Cat explains, motioning to the fight. "In her eyes, you were the hero who came in and defended her. The details about it may have shifted over time, but that is the clear takeaway she had from this moment."

_Irvin suplexes Felix, causing his friend to run away in fear._

"...S-Seriously?"

She chuckles. "It may seem unrealistic, but if the memory is changing this much then it shows just how much of an impact you made on her."

Eliza thought _that_ much of him? He… wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Static. The scene was changing again.

This time they were standing in the doorway of their current family home. Him and Eliza were both there, holding letters in their hands. This one couldn't be too long ago, they both looked around 18.

"We've jumped ahead quite a bit." Princess remarks. "What's happening here?"

"This was w-when our college acceptance letters came in." He narrates. "We applied to different ones, and we both got in."

"Which we would have seen in only a moment." The Cat points out, sighing. "Why watch the cinematic version if you intend on spoiling the events?"

_"C-Can't do it. My heart is g-g-gonna explode." Irvin says, clutching his chest dramatically. Eliza nervously laughs._

_"Ditto." She says. "It won't matter where we go to school if we die here though."_

_"R-Right…" He stares at his letter, trying not to faint. "So… we should ch-check them, huh?"_

_"We can do it together on three." She suggests._

_"I won't l-l-live to see t-two."_

_"Jeez Irvin, If you can't handle this part, then you might actually die when college finals roll around."_

The present Irvin winces at that comment. It definitely hadn't aged well…

_"O-Okay, okay… I-I'm ready. No, I'm not ready, but do it anyways."_

_She rips the letter out of his hands and tears it open for him. She then opens her own, and hands him back his actual letter. Silently, they both read. An unsettling air rests between them._

_Irvin collapses to his knees. "Oh thank g-goodness, I m-m-made it."_

_"California State, nice!" She offers a high five, which he weakly accepts. All the life had left his body, his limp hand slap was the best he could offer._

_"H-How about you?"_

_She waves the question off. "Oh, I already knew I was gonna make it. I'm just going to the local community college. Phoenix, y'know, over by McGurkee's"_

_"R-Really? I bet y-you could go to Yale if you wanted."_

_"Ha!" She slaps him on the back playfully. "You think WAY too kindly of me. I'm good, but I'm not THAT good. Besides, community's cheaper, I can save on dorm fees by living here, and I can always transfer later if I feel like it."_

_"Wow. N-Now I kind of w-wish I'd done community college t-too…" He slumps over slightly. It's only for a moment, as Eliza wraps an arm around him and pulls him into a hug._

_"Hey, that's just what works best for me. I've listened to you ramble on about this place's math program enough to know that you'll love it. Gotta follow your heart."_

_He smiles dopiley, before shaking his head. "O-Oh! Right, we gotta go tell mom. C-Celebration pizza tonight!"_

_"You go ahead, I want to read the rest of this first." She says, giving him a thumbs up as he runs upstairs. The moment Irvin is out of sight, her face shifts to a frown._

Irvin blinks, stunned at the immediate change in mood.

"What's that about?" Princess wonders aloud, jumping from Irvin's shoulder onto hers. The static at her feet didn't bother her.

_Eliza unfolds her letter again, reading it one more time._

Princess' eyes widen. "Irvin. Come look at this."

He does so, peeking over his sister's shoulders.

_'Thank you for expressing an interest in Brigham Young University. Unfortunately, your application has been-'_

"D-Declined!? Brigham Young- th-that's not what she told me!"

"Yes, that's why I pointed it out." Princess says.

"B-But… Why would she lie?"

"Shame?" The Cat suggests. "That would be my guess at least."

"Wh-" Eliza lied because she was ashamed? That didn't make sense.

Because… so what if she didn't get in? Who cares!? Irvin would never have thought any less of her for getting rejected. They were dumb for not wanting her.

It didn't make sense. Something was wrong with this memory.

_Eliza crumples up the rejection letter, tossing it in the trash. She sighs, letting her frustration show for a brief moment. After a few breaths, she's smiling again and heading upstairs to be with her family._

"S-See? She would never let anything g-get her down." Irvin says, trying to wrap his head around all of this. "No matter what, Eliza would always f-face it head-on. _That's_ who s-she is. So, w-why would she lie?"

" _Face it?_ " Princess skeptically repeats. "Is that what you're seeing?"

"Huh? Of c-course!" He answers, a little louder than needed.

She sighs, shaking her head. "Honestly Irvin, we just went over the principles of reading expressions a few hours ago. She's not facing anything. She's putting on a brave face and trying to push it out of her mind."

He shakes his head, rejecting the idea. Even if she looked a little tense right now, and her smile seemed forced, that was totally justifiable. She just got rejected from the college of her choice, she's allowed to feel a _little_ upset. That didn't make her weak, if anything it was admirable that she wasn't letting it stew in her head or something.

"Irvin, do I need to remind you why we're seeing these memories?"

He winces, remembering that they were in a train memory tape. "That... d-doesn't matter." Despite his words, it was clear that he didn't fully doubt the memories being shown.

Static interrupts their conversation, as the scene around them shifts. For once, Irvin had no familiarity with the new setting. It looked like a dimly lit dorm, meaning they'd skipped ahead to the point where he and Eliza had split off to go to their respective colleges.

_Eliza was sitting at a desk with a small stack of papers beside her. Her hair was messy, and she looked like she'd been pulling an all-nighter from the vacant look in her eyes. She was wiped._

_The door opens, as two women walk in. A blonde girl with a sway in her steps that hinted at intoxication, and a raven-haired girl with glasses and no such signs._

_The latter speaks first. "There you are, Eliza! Jeez, I thought you said you were coming to Kate's b-day party."_

_Eliza looks at them, clearly confused, before shooting to her feet in alarm. "Thursday! No no, shoot! I'm so sorry Izzy, I-I didn't realize it was today. There was just this test I really needed to study for that Mrs. Clark only gave us two days warning on, and it just slipped my mind-"_

_"Hey hey, it's okay girl, we get it. School's hard sometimes." She replies, helping the blonde lay down on the couch. "Mrs. Clark is world history, right? I thought you were acing that class. That, and every other one."_

_Looking more and more frazzled as she talks, Eliza lays everything out. "Yeah, but I didn't do as well as I wanted on the midterms. My grade's gonna fall to a B if I don't get an 87 on this. I could try to make up for it by finals, but I don't have time to study hard enough for it. My math tutor hasn't been working out, so I need to find somebody who can actually explain how to solve these bell curve problems in a way that doesn't make my head explode. By the time I find someone, I'll have to figure out my new schedule and plan everything around our meeting times while still leaving room to study for every other class."_

Watching his sister suffer was making Irvin's poor heart shatter into a million pieces. "I never knew s-she cared so much about her grades..."

"Excellence can be both a blessing and a curse." The Cat says, resting comfortably on the couch's armrest. "It's only when we're placed on a pillar, that we have the potential to fall."

Eliza had always cared about her grades. Of course she did! She worked hard for every single A she earned. But she didn't _have_ to get A's. Nobody would hold it against her if she came home with a B, or even a C or D, as long as she did her best.

It was never her grades that made her amazing, it was her effort. But this? This was too much, she needed to relax. Why didn't she understand…?

_Izzy sighs. "You know nobody will mind if you get a B in one or two classes, right? Nobody cares about that stuff, the lowest scoring doctor that passed is still a doctor and all that."_

_"It's not that simple…" She stands up and joins Izzy by the couch, rubbing her temples to try and lessen the headache. "If I don't get good grades here, then I won't have a chance to transfer anywhere good. Even just a few points could mean the difference between another year here and somewhere decent. I don't want to take that risk."_

_"Didn't you tell me your brother was literally majoring in mathematics? Why not give him a ring and hit him up for some advice?"_

_"No way! I can't ask him for help."_

_"Oh?" She raises an eyebrow._

_"I just... want to be able to measure up to him. He knows what he wants to do with himself, and he's in another state working at it. But I'm still here, barely managing to meander properly."_

He walks into the middle of the scene, staring down at his sister. "No… I-I had no idea what I wanted to d-do with myself. I dropped out, you wouldn't have disturbed me at all! Even if I hadn't, you can always a-ask for help." The fact that he was speaking to a memory didn't seem to stop him.

How could she ever think she could inconvenience him? Even if it wasn't a good time… he would have dropped everything to help her!

He doesn't notice it himself, but both denizens catch the telltale sound. They glance at his hand.

_525 _

Princess grits her teeth. This felt like something Irvin needed to see to face reality, so why was he moving backwards?

_Eliza sighs, looking down at the textbooks she had sitting open. "...He's always looked up to me, ever since we were kids. I don't want to let him down."_

_Izzy picks up on the serious mood, and decides to change topics. "If you drop it, maybe you could use that to help narrow down a major? Just pick one that doesn't have this math class as a requirement to pass."_

_"Honestly, I might just have to do something like that at this point." She replies, giving a weak chuckle. A yawn interrupts her, and she stares longingly at the bed. "I just want to sleep, but this isn't going to disappear if I just close my eyes."_

_"Just make sure you get SOME rest tonight. Stay up too long, and chances are you'll pass out at the very worst moment. I've seen it before, always at the worst possible time."_

_As Izzy walks off to her own bed, Eliza returns to her work. As the clock on the wall speeds up and time seemed to skip forward at a rapid pace, it was clear that she'd spent the rest of her evening there._

Fittingly, the world turned to static, matching the state of Irvin's mind.

"I h-hate this." He mutters. Princess pats his chest as comfortingly as she can.

"I know. It's hard to see people we love in pain. But this is all in the past." She says. It doesn't soothe his stress at all unfortunately.

"I never even knew… E-Eliza was hurting, and I didn't even know."

"You were facing your own troubles at the time, weren't you? Did she ever know that you weren't doing well either?" She asks.

"...It doesn't m-matter."

His number goes up again.

_649 _

Princess opens her mouth to object, but unfortunately for her the scene comes in and interrupts her.

They were in a classroom whose lights were off. The window shades were open, so they could see that it was night. Eliza isn't there for the first few seconds, until she opens the room's one door. Uncharacteristically, she was wearing all black. She'd always preferred pastels and brighter colors, so Irvin was already on edge.

_Eliza silently shuts the door behind her, pocketing a key ring in her sweater pocket. She then approaches the teacher's desk. Despite nobody being there, she still looks around her cautiously._

_When she reaches it, she pulls open a drawer and takes out a manilla file. She pulls a page out filled with empty and filled ink blots, and uses her phone to take a photograph of its contents. She flips it around and does the same for the other side._

"...No." She wouldn't. She _couldn't._ His sister would _never_ cheat.

"What is she doing?" Princess asks. "And why the stealth?"

Irvin doesn't answer, walking closer and just watching her.

_She slides the paper back into the file, and puts it all back into the drawer. She turns to leave._

Static once more.

"Irvin?" Princess asks.

He just stands there blankly, an empty look on his face. Her words hadn't reached him at all. A countless number of his brain cells were working tirelessly to find an explanation for what he'd just watched that countered the obvious implications. It was a waste, but the alternative was accepting that his sister had cheated. No matter how bad things had gotten for her, he would never believe it.

When the world came back, they were back in Eliza's dorm once more. She was back at her desk, but she wasn't working on anything. Instead, she had her head pressed against it as her body shook with sobs.

"E-Eliza!" Irvin runs up to her, looking all around for what was wrong. As he does, he notices an email open on her computer screen.

_'To: Elizabethkemp '_

_'Upon review of your recent records in HIS102, it has come to our attention that you may have engaged in academic dishonesty. We value academic integrity greatly, so please know that we take matters like this very seriously. '_

_'Furthermore, security camera footage has identified you performing an illegal entry into a classroom outside of teaching hours. Students must be accompanied by a teacher at all times when within classrooms containing important documents.'_

_'In light of this, you will be receiving 0 points on the latest test. A meeting has been set between you and the Honor Council for this Friday at 2:30 PM. If you will need to reschedule this date, please send an email to…'_

The message goes on, but the main point was clear. She cheated, and they knew that she'd done it.

_She bangs her fist into the desk, before standing up and running out of the room._

Irvin runs to follow, only to freeze when the scene changes. When the static clears, they were already at the destination she'd gone off to. The roof of the campus building.

_Eliza opens the roof door and starts walking across the concrete. She doesn't get anywhere near the edges, as something strange starts to happen. Things start vanishing right in front of her, from massive air conditioners to the borders around the roof's edge. She notices it and freezes in place, confusion evident._

_Then, she hears it. A whistle. She only manages to turn halfway before a train whizzes straight past her. The gust of wind that follows feels powerful enough to knock her clean off the building, but in truth she doesn't even leave the spot she stood in._

_As bizarre as that was, it wasn't over. The train crawls to a stop, with a train car's open door directly in front of her. A destination ticks over the sign over it._

_'ANYWHERE BUT HERE'_

_"Ominous…" She mutters, still sniffling. After a deep breath, she reads it again. A bitter chuckle escapes her. "...Yeah, you know exactly what I need you weird magical roof train. Anywhere but here sounds just right."_

_She takes her first step through the doorway, when a green light appears inside._

And then it ended. The screen in front of them turned to static, and Irvin soon realized that the screen was once more in front of them. They weren't in the video anymore, they were back in the dressing room for The Cat's show.

Irvin sat staring at the screen, as if his mind hadn't processed that it had ended yet. Perhaps he'd rejected the very notion that the video would stop there, stupidly expecting to see her full train journey and eventual return. A happy ending to the tragedy they'd witnessed.

But nothing played except static. Static which was soon replaced by an empty black screen when The Cat ejected the tape.

She was looking at him, but wasn't saying anything. Oh, she must have asked him a question. Slowly, he nods his head, not caring what he'd missed.

"Irvin?" Princess asks, poking his cheek. "Are you feeling alright?"

_I don't want to let him down._

Irvin shakes his head. She frowns, giving a harsh look to The Cat. She leaps onto the desk to get closer to her. "Why would you show him something like that!?"

_He put too much pressure on her. She could never live up to the image he had of her. It was selfish to put those expectations on her shoulders in the first place. She never asked to be idolized, but he couldn't help it._

"I only offered him the tape, it was his choice whether or not to watch it." The Cat rebuts, looking affronted by the accusation. "He's an adult, I trust that he can make his own decisions."

_That's why she cheated. Because the alternative was disappointing him. Even if she could have passed on her own, she cheated because that wasn't good enough._

Princess wasn't having any of it. "You should have told _me_ what was on it before waving that in front of him. Irvin isn't some random passenger for you to play your games with, this is my friend. After everything you and I have been through, shouldn't that mean anything to you?"

_He broke her. Whatever resemblance she had to that image he adored, his toxic love spoiled it. He ruined his sister's life._

The Cat cowers at the mouse's harsh words. A rebuttal sits at the tip of her tongue, but seeing the look on her friend's face causes her to swallow it. She tilts her head down and responds, " _Je suis désolé._ "

They both turn to look at Irvin, glancing between his face and changing number. Neither gave them much hope.

"Irvin... dear?" Princess asks, trying to get a reaction out of him. Positive, negative, anything would be better than his current empty expression. "...It's okay if you need time to process this, but please try to just… say _something._ I'm starting to get worried."

"..."

_He killed her._

"...I'm tired." He says, as quiet as a whisper.

She seems a little relieved to hear him speak up. "The resort should still be next to here. Why don't we rest there for the-"

"I'm tired, Princess."

"L-Let's go then-"

"I want to go to sleep and never wake up again." He says, more clearly this time. He looks up, showing Princess the dullness in his eyes. In that moment, his number stops changing. She flinches at its end result.

_1489 _

"Irvin… You can't talk like that! You promised Rico that you would get off this train."

"I can't leave, not after I ruined everything for her. I would only ruin him too. That's what I do, I poison the people I love. I'm toxic."

"That's not true! You're overreacting Irvin, it's not your fault that she-"

"I understand." He interrupts.

"Understand…?"

"There's a place where she's still alive. A place where I haven't ruined her yet, and never will. Somewhere where I can never poison the people I love."

He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out the tape with his name on it.

"...That's where I want to be."

Both denizens realize what he's about to do, and they each try to stop him. Neither are fast enough or strong enough. He puts in his tape.

Static.

...

...

...


End file.
